


Why him?

by imera



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drama, Falling In Love, M/M, Mpreg, Rape/Non-con Elements, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-08
Updated: 2010-03-08
Packaged: 2019-10-05 01:37:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 27
Words: 69,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17315624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imera/pseuds/imera
Summary: Blaise's quest is to get Harry, and he succeeds. But he hadn't expected to fall in love. But the road to a relationship with Harry is long, especially when Ginny finds out and is determined not to let go of Harry.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is an ancient story I started publishing in 2010, but just now posting to Ao3 (seeing as I haven't used FF.net in forever)
> 
> I will not be editing anything so I'm certain there are a bunch of errors, seeing as I was way younger at the time, but it's also the oldest fic posted on FF.net. The only thing I might not be adding is all the A/N messages that aren't important. Another issue I have is that I don't know if there are any warnings I should add, so unless there are warnings in the A/N I won't add any new tags.
> 
> \----Old fic starts here----
> 
> A/N : This story began as a gift for Scifinerd92, who is also the beta and who I'm grateful to have.
> 
> The story is set in their last year at school; most of the things in book 6 haven't happened and will never do. And Blaise is a dark boy in this story.

I was standing beside Pansy, waiting for the first game of the Quidditch season to begin; Slytherin versus Gryffindor. If looks  _could_  kill, Pansy would have been long dead from all the glares I had given her; what was she thinking, dragging me up here in the cold autumn air? And then, to make it worse, spending the last ten minutes talking about Draco and the game plans he had shared with her! Don't get me wrong, I love Quidditch like any other wizard or witch, but I don't care about their strategies. So, since I'm a polite person, I nod and act like a fool while she explained even the basic things to me, as though I was a small child who didn't understand anything.

In the beginning I thought things couldn't get worse, but then it started to rain; Pansy always seems to bring bad luck every time she makes me join her. I put a protective charm over myself to keep myself dry. Oh how I hate the rain, always destroying my appearance.

Before I got carried away thinking about myself, both teams jumped on their brooms and flew around the pitch, trying to impress us before the match began. Madame Hooch was already standing in the centre waiting for them to slow down for the game. I watched Pansy as she was trying to shout louder than everybody wishing Draco good luck. If I were Draco I wouldn't have bothered with her; I like them classier and harder to get. Anyone that is prepared to spread their legs that willingly is far from my type. It's so tempting to slap her and tell her to get a grip of herself, but I know why he likes her – he likes to be the alpha in everything he does; that's why I don't like hanging out with him more than I need to.

Pansy's character disgusts me so much that she isn't even on my list over who I would like to fuck, and my list is reasonably long so it's difficult  _not_  to be on it. I do consider her a good friend but nothing more than that.

The first name on my list at the moment is the forbidden fruit, if you might call it that. Like so many others before me in history, I like – and want – the one thing that I'm supposed to hate. But sometimes history isn't enough; we need to try and fail ourselves to realize that they are actually true. Number one on my list is the green eyed beauty, Harry Potter.

Being a Slytherin is difficult enough, what with the war going on, but being interested in a Gryffindor is outrageous, especially because the Gryffindor I want is the saviour of the wizarding world. I know I should slap myself for even thinking about him, but I'm sure that I'm not the only one that thinks about the Golden Boy in that way. One person in particular is the Weasley girl. She and Pansy are the same, spreading their legs if their so called loved one wants them to. It's ridiculous and sickening seeing their weak self-power. I want him for completely different reasons; I want him because he is a fighter.

The cold rain was starting to penetrate my protective charm so I had to reinforce it. I hate standing out in the rain like this, like an animal. Then the Gryffindor caught my interest again as he dived after the snitch; I couldn't stop staring at him, his muscular body holding on to the broom while the rain was hitting down on him. If it weren't for Pansy I would have left long ago, for I prefer staring at Harry in class or at lunch, even if staring is below my standard. But standing outside in the rain staring at him was a little too open for my taste.

It must have been my luck when Harry twirled down towards the ground and snatched the snitch and ended the game; finally I would be allowed to leave. I watched him carefully as he climbed off his broom and jumped up and down with his team mates. Seeing him excited like that made me wish I was down besides him, kissing him. I hate it that I'm so obsessed with him, every time he's around me it's like I want to do things to him, without thinking about the consequences.

I continued to watch Harry and noticed that he didn't leave with the rest of his team mates; instead he walked in the opposite direction, towards the forest.

"You're not coming? I thought you hated the rain?" Pansy asked me suspiciously, snapping me out of my daze. She was right, but I didn't want to be stuck with her and listen to her moping about the game being fixed again. I also wanted to take a chance and be alone with Harry, even in the horrible rain.

When I said nothing, she huffed.

"Suit yourself," she said. "I'm going to wait for Draco." Like that was any surprise.

I waited until I was alone before I went down to where Harry had disappeared and tried to follow him. It didn't take long before I realized that I'm not the kind of person who would walk in the rain in pursuit after something I want. What on earth made me think that I could? Probably the idea of running my hands over Harry's hot and wet muscular body.

I don't like to give up but when there is rain involved, not to mention mud and other disgusting things; I think I would rather drink Hippogriff piss. I should have planned my actions a little better, running after the Gryffindor like we were lovers. If my mother had seen me she would be disappointed, I know I am. I decided to go back to the school, hopefully I would get a new chance to show him how I really feel about him, and it will be planned so there would be no rain involved.

Once I got back to the common room I ignored Pansy. Luckily she quickly understood that I didn't wish to be around her and stayed out of my way. I still felt like a complete idiot going after Harry, and now I'll spend the rest of the week beating myself over it.

Unless I found a way to get my emotions out.

While finishing my last piece of homework for the next week I thought about how to get close to Harry. Of course I know the basic things that someone needed to know about him, but in order to get close to him I needed to know the small details: what classes he has and when, if he is a part of any club, does he eat at the same time each day, the little things that gave me an advantage in capturing him. And the best place to find that information is Draco. After all, he has spent the last six years hating Harry so he must know where to find him most of the time.

So I went to find Draco; it was time to put his little head into good use. Getting the information wouldn't be that difficult, I only had to start a conversation and slowly push it towards Harry and where he usually hangs out; Draco will think that he controls the conversation.

Just like I had predicted, Draco knew almost everything there was to know about Harry. Of course I can't be sure it's accurate but at least I have some information I didn't possess before. For example, for the rest of the week, he'll be down in the dungeons for another detention with Snape. The only problem now is to sit still and wait for the next day, and since I have completed all my homework there isn't much I can do to make the time fly by.


	2. Chapter 2

Thinking about Harry made the next day feel like torture, a really long and slow torture. Luckily in the end the time for me to confront Harry came and my heart jumped up in my throat. I walked over to Snape's office and hid in an empty hole that used to contain a large statue. It was deep enough to hide in and the light around it was dimmed so I was standing in almost complete darkness.

Luckily for me I didn't have to wait for long; Harry opened the door and stepped out of Snape's office, ready to head back to the Gryffindor tower. I waited until he was close before I stepped out of the dark. I loved seeing the fear in those green eyes, and the first thing I wanted to do now was to press him against the wall and fuck him. Luckily, however, I have enough control over myself.

"Going somewhere?" I asked slyly.

"Yes, so get out of my way," Harry snapped impatiently.

"You don't want to stay and chat with me?"

"What do you want? Did Malfoy send you to mess with me after his Quidditch loss? That git has no balls." Why does the boy think that whatever I do it's on Draco's command? I'm not one of his disciples!

"You like someone with balls, do you?" I took one stop towards Harry, who found his wand and pointed it towards me. The right thing to do was to back off, but I need some kind of reward for the long time I had to wait to get close to him. "Don't worry, I won't hurt you."

"If you're not going to do anything then get out of my way," Harry said firmly.

"I didn't say I wouldn't do anything." It was fun to see how the Gryffindor reacted, I couldn't be completely sure of what he was thinking since I was no mind reader but he was most likely scared or confused. "What I will do won't hurt you at all, I promise."

I reached out to take his wrists when, suddenly, I was sent flying into the wall behind me. It took me a moment to realize what had happened; I was so excited about everything I could do to Harry that I had forgotten he had a wand that he could and would use. If Mother saw what a bad, clumsy job I'm doing she would be so disappointed. How could I not think things through? She had taught me better than that...

At least my encounter with the wall wasn't a completely waste. Harry, who was shocked over what he had done, ran over to my side trying to see how much he had hurt me. I know I should worry about my health but when Harry was bent down over me like that I couldn't stop myself from taking advantage of the situation. I threw my hand over his neck and dragged him down to my level until our lips collided together. I opened my mouth and licked his still shocked lips which tasted better than I could ever have imagined.

He quickly pushed away, but not before I had gotten a taste of his delicious lips.

"I never thought you would taste so good," I said breathlessly. It looked like Harry wanted to say something but instead he ran. I wanted to get up and try to stop him but I didn't feel well enough to be rushing after him.

The meeting with Harry hadn't gone well, so the next time I needed a better plan to seduce him. And I need a good plan since I only had four days left; maybe the next time he would give me a kiss more willingly, if I played my cards right.

I was standing outside Snape's office waiting for Harry like the day before, but this time I would be ready for any surprise attack the Gryffindor might give me. With my wand ready in my hand I stepped out from the dark and surprised Harry like before. I had guessed right about him trying to hex me again so I took my wand and used a full body-bind curse on him. Seeing him frozen like that made me want to kiss him again, and this time I couldn't control myself.

Kissing a stiff body wasn't pleasant, but I didn't feel completely disgusted when I remembered that it was Harry Potter.

"Do you have any idea what I'm going through every day?" I growled. "It's torturing me not to have you." I took his wand and placed it in my pocket before I released him from the body-bind. "You're so sexy..."

"Get away from me!" Harry shrieked. If I had my own room I would have taken him there and fucked him senseless. "Give me my wand back!" He was stepping backwards trying to get as far away from me as possible; the scene made me even harder.

"I want to fuck you."

That shut him up; he'd probably never heard it from anyone like me before. Quickly I stepped over to him and caught him off-guard, capturing both his wrists and pushing him into the wall. He tried to get away from me, kicking and pushing, but I was too strong for him.

"Get off me!" He kept shouting while he was fighting me; it was so arousing knowing that I had so much control over him. "Let go!"

Aggressively I bit into his neck and he screamed. Then I took my tongue and traced it from the sore spot up to his jaw. His body had stopped fighting while I licked him and his screams had turned into moans, which sent lightning bolts through my body down to my cock that was throbbing from excitement. I pressed my lower body against his, making sure he felt my pulsing cock; and I knew I had succeeded when he gasped. Before he got a chance to close his mouth again I pressed my lips against his and sent my tongue into his sweet mouth.

It was too much for me and I couldn't control my next action. I started to grind my lower body against his, pressing my cock harder into him. It was so good that it didn't matter if I came in my pants, nor did I care if the wall was dirty or if anyone would come and see us. The only thing on my mind was release. I let go of his mouth and took another bite from his neck, wanting to cause him pain so I could hear him scream again. I was really close but I needed something more... quickly I released his left wrist and grabbed his ass, pressing my body even harder against his until he was forced to spread his legs. I took a hold of his thigh and lifted it up, and pressed my cock against his ass. It didn't take long time for me to come right there, though it would have been better if we were naked. No matter; I had finally got what I had longed for; Harry Potter.

When my own body relaxed after the strong orgasm I let go and took a long look at him. He looked scared and confused, blushing and breathing heavily, almost like he was horny himself. I wasn't sure why but I wanted to comfort him, so I walked over and placed a soft kiss on his still parted lips before I slipped his wand into his robe.

"If you tell anyone about this then I'll tell them about you blasting me into the wall yesterday," I warned. "Don't be a fool, Potter."

I know it wasn't a good threat, and I would lose more than Harry in case it did come out, but anything that might help me was fine. However, before I left, I needed to know something, so I let my hand travel down Harry's waist before letting it rest against his cock, smirking when I felt the hard limb twitch by my touch. It was tempting to drop down on my knees and put it in my mouth, but that had to wait.

"I would love to take care of this," I murmured as I grabbed his cock to show him what I meant, and he let out a moan, "but I have a lot I need to do today." I gave him one last kiss before I left him standing against the wall all alone.

That night I kept wondering what would have happened if I had given him a blow job, would he have let me? Probably not, but there are three days left of Harry's punishment, certainly I would find a way to fuck him.


	3. Chapter 3

On the third night I was waiting like the previous nights, but this time Harry knew it. When he was done with the detention he left Snape's office as usual but he didn't move from the door; he was standing there and waiting.

“I know you're there, Zabini,” Harry said loudly, and slightly nervously. Of course he knew it, did he think I would stop after I only got a taste of that delicious body? “Why are you hiding? I know you're there.” Sometimes I don't know what to think; is he really that stupid? Thinking that I hide from him?

“Come closer and I'll show you why I'm standing here.” 

“Why, so you can curse me again and rape me?” 

“I wasn't raping you,” I snarled in outrage. I could have stayed in the dark but when Harry accused me of rape I lost my control, but this time it wasn't in a good way. “I was dry humping you, and you enjoyed it as much as I did.”

 Harry blushed and his eyes went down to the ground; that meant he either rarely did something like that or had never done something like that. Of course it was difficult thinking about the Golden Boy being a virgin so I guessed that he rarely did anything like that, or maybe he just hadn't done it with a boy. 

“It was close to rape,” he whispered. 

Of course it seemed like that for him right now, but I know I could change his mind about it being rape if he let me fuck him. 

“If I remember correctly you were pretty turned on by my so called rape’. What did you do after I left you? Did you run up to your bed and jerk off thinking about me raping you?” Harry avoided my eyes and I knew I was right. “You loved what I did to you, didn't you? And you’ve probably been fantasizing about me all day. Don't worry, though; I couldn't stop thinking about you all day either.” He was blushing like never before; I love the effect I have on him. 

When I walked towards him I knew I was taking a chance, he could easily hex me again and now he had all the reason to even torture me. “I won't curse you today, I promise, but I will try to kiss you.” By the time I finished my short speech I had reached him. Telling him that I would kiss him was a warning for him in case he did decide to push me away. But he never moved, not even when I softly stroked his cheek. It was really disappointing, I had thought he would still fight me, not obey me like a whore. I hoped he would try to push me away when I kissed him, but nothing happened besides our lips touching softly. 

I stood up straight, confused and angry; where was the Harry I craved, the Harry I had fantasized about for weeks? I really wanted to kiss him but not when he was a shell of his former self. I needed the fire not the wood. 

“You're lucky,” I said with a sneer. “I've lost my interest in you.” There was nothing left in him that I wanted so I turned and started to walk away. 

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?!” I stopped when I heard him shout at me; it was interesting hearing him react. 

“You heard me.” 

“You waited for me tonight just to tell me I'm not interesting?” he asked sceptically. “You're the one who’s boring, you asshole.” 

When I turned to face him he was already going up the stairs. 

The chase was on. 

I wanted to walk after him but the excitement was far too intense and I found myself running. When I reached him I grabbed his elbow and forced him around. 

“Let go of me, you fucking Slytherin!” I wanted him to say more so I slapped him right on his cheek. But he didn't say anything; instead he pushed me so I almost fell down the stairs and then turned around and continued to walk away, though with a quicker stride. I wouldn't let him leave that easily, not now that I had the real Harry. I ran after him again, turned him around roughly and pressed my lips hard against his. When his lips parted in shock I sent my tongue into his sweet mouth. Things got out of hand so fast that I didn't have control over anything that was happening. 

I pulled his hair so our lips parted and then I saw the passion in his half open eyes, but I didn't want him submitting unless I wanted that from him, so I pushed him into the wall. It looked like it hurt but I couldn't care less, and neither could Harry by the look of it. He took one step towards me and grabbed my tie. I moaned when he pulled me hard against him and kissed me back. 

This time I knew that I could do almost anything I wanted, so I slid my hand inside his robe and down his pants. It was so good feeling his cock pulse in my palm, and things were even better when I pumped him and he moaned. Harry stopped kissing me, but that didn't matter because instead he began to fuck my hand. The only thing I wanted right then was to see him come, hear him moan and tremble in pure pleasure. 

Never have I seen somebody so fucking sexy coming from me pleasuring them, it was the most overwhelming moment I have felt in a really long time. It reminded me about one of the pictures I saw years ago before I began experimenting with sex. I had quickly understood it was a fake since none of my partners came close to it, but seeing Harry with the same angelic face in complete pleasure was breathtaking. 

When things slowed down I kissed his neck softly and turned away. I had to fight the urge to turn around and attack Harry again; it was for the best to leave things as they were tonight. 

So far I had thought that the only thing I needed from Harry was a great fuck and then I would move on to someone else. But the way I made Harry react was better than I had hoped for and it seemed that, even now, halfway to my goal, I wanted more than only a night with him – I wanted to have him for myself. 

The strange thing is that I have never wanted any relationship, and I still don't want one. So why do I want to be with Harry? Maybe because he’s a hero or maybe because I have never been in any relationship and now my emotions are getting mixed up. Whatever the reason is I'm sure it will solve itself in the end. 

* 

The fourth day didn’t go as I had expected. I had planned things to go further than the previous days, but when Harry exited the classroom with Snape at his side I was disappointed. I had never thought anything bad about my professor before, but right then I wished he were lying in the hospital wing. 

I didn't worry about being seen since I was standing in the dark shadows. Of course Harry knew I was there tonight too, unless he thought I had given up. I was fighting mentally to try and convince myself that Harry knew I was there, but when they both walked past me without even glancing around I thought that I had lost a full night of fun. Harry had probably convinced Snape to follow him up to the Gryffindor tower just to avoid me. I was so sure about that until I saw him slow down a little. Right before he was out of sight he turned his head and mimed something, it took me a few seconds to make out what it could have been but in the end I was sure he had asked me to wait. If he wanted me to wait then of course I would, and if he – for some reason – didn't show up I would personally find him at breakfast and slap him, right in front of the whole school. 

As time flew by I lost hope of seeing Harry, but luckily for him I decided to stay even though I thought I was being stood up. So, when he appeared walking down the stairs I was surprised; never would I have thought that he would want me that badly so fast. 

When he saw me he instantly attacked me, pushing me into the wall and gripping me hard on my shoulder. If it was anybody else I would have been alarmed a long time ago, but this was Harry who, apparently, knew I liked him brutal. I tried to move but Harry pushed me harder in the wall and kissed me. I liked him aggressive but not in control, so as soon as I saw an opportunity I flung him around and pushed my body over his, making sure that he felt both me and the wall sandwiching him together. 

He tried to push me off but this time he wouldn't succeed seeing as I am stronger. Before he got a chance to try and push me off I found my way into his shirt and pinched one of his nipples, smirking at the way he reacted. Then I pushed my other hand into his pants and found his cock and slowly massaged it. I felt I could take more chances tonight I decided to go for it. I let go of him and crouched down in front of him ready to take him in my mouth. 

When I first saw his cock I was amazed; he was perfect even there, I could see everything even in the darkness. Enough foreskin and pre-cum, the perfect colour, not too much hair, it was the most amazing cock I had seen so far. And the taste was as good as the view... salty but still sort of sweet. I started with only a lick from the base to the tip, then I put his cock into my mouth and slowly pulled it out, making sure that my tongue had tasted every millimeter of flesh. I continued at a slow peace, trying to enjoy him as much as possible. 

Harry dug his fingernails into my shoulder and tried to pull me off, at first I thought it was an attempt to control me again so I ignored it.

 “Someone’s coming,” I heard him whisper, but my brain didn't connect the dots until the person walking down the stairs was only a few steps away. Harry held his breath when he saw Snape walking past us, and I tried my best not to do anything to draw the attention towards us but his cock was flashing right in front of me and I needed it so badly. Snape hadn't even opened his door before I reached for Harry's cock and sucked on it. Luckily for us, Snape closed the door right before Harry could no longer hold himself together. His nails dug deeper into my shoulder, and this time I was the one that moaned. 

I continued to suck him until he couldn't take it any more and exploded in my mouth. He tasted like heaven; perfect. 

When I looked at Harry after I had cleaned him it didn't look like he was able to do much so I tucked his cock back into his pants and kissed him softly on his lips, and, like the previous night, I left him. My cock was in so much pain but I didn't want to destroy the progression, even if I probably could fuck him and get away with it. Why I held back so much was strange; I had never bothered about other people’s feelings but now I found myself wanting Harry to be happy. After we fuck I would most probably get over him and move on to someone else.


	4. Chapter 4

The last few days have gone really excellent; I never thought that it would be that easy to get into Harry's pants, and that made me wonder how many others he has been with. I know it wasn't my business; I didn't need to know who Harry chose to share himself with. I chose to fuck everybody so if Harry did the same thing then he wouldn't be any worse than me.

One thing I started to notice was that Harry always ignored me during the day... it was like he didn't even know I was there. Of course that was a good thing but I wouldn't mind a glance once in a while. I wondered how he could do that and yet be so passionate at night, but he was the Golden Boy and if anyone discovered he was with me he could be in big trouble, so he did the right thing.

A few times I found myself wondering how things would be if we were in a relationship, not that we could be in one. His fame is one problem; I'm not that interested in being in a relationship where everything I do will be front page news. His friends are another problem; while my friends can get over the fact of who he is, his friends will always see me as a Slytherin and nothing more, and I knew they would never trust a Slytherin. Of course, Harry himself is another problem, or rather I am since I'm not a person who can be in a relationship. I have never been with anybody to know for certain, but I'm sure I wouldn't do a good job. I would certainly cheat, and be an insensitive partner seeing as I always need to be in control and win all the time.

Thinking like that is not good for me; why would I ever want to be in a relationship? The single life is so much better... there are a million things I won't be able to do if I was in a relationship. My emotions had gone haywire and I need to get them under control. I would never be in a relationship so fantasizing about it was out of the question.

I realized that today was the last night I would be waiting for Harry. Thinking about what would happen made my whole body tingle, and not in a good way. There's only one thing I want from him now, and I only have this last night.

As I waited in the hallway that evening, I wondered if Harry might let me fuck him right here in the hallway, but I doubted it. Gryffindor pride and all that nonsense.

My heart jumped when the door slowly opened and Harry's messy hair came into view. Aggressively he walked up to where I was hiding and we kissed. This night, before he could take the lead, I spun him around and pressed his chest against the wall, fisting my hand into his hair and pulled it to the side so I could get a clear shot of his neck. I could bite him, lick him or kiss him, the possibilities were endless, but I needed to tell him what I wanted before we were both lost in the heat.

"I want to fuck you Harry," I whispered softly in his ear, feeling his whole body tremble underneath me as I spoke. Maybe he wanted it, maybe he would let me fuck him right here in the hallway... I've done it many times before anyway. "Let me fuck you, I need you so badly." I didn't wait for him to answer before I started to kiss him and open his shirt, but he stopped me before I could go further.

"No, not here," he breathed. "Meet me on the seventh floor in fifteen minutes." And then he left me. I couldn't help but feel a little bit betrayed, but I reminded myself that, so far, he hasn't ran away from me. I had no reason not to trust him.

The minutes felt like hours, but I managed to wait until it was time to leave for the seventh floor. Walking up the stairs wasn't better than waiting; my cock was harder than it had been in a long time so every step was like torture. When I finally reached the seventh floor I couldn't see him and, again, I thought the worst. Was I going to be left there to wait until the sun came out?

Before I could decided whether to stay or go, a door opened up and I found my wand. Luckily for me I realized that it was Harry standing there and not someone who wanted to attack me. In a bad way that is, because Harry looked like he was ready to attack me in an entirely different way, and he did when I didn't move. His body slammed into mine as he wrapped his arms round my neck and his lips brutally attacked mine. Before I could act he dragged me into the room behind him and closed the door. I can't remember there being any private bedroom in the school, but this wasn't the time to ask why this room was such a secret. After we were done we would have plenty of time to talk.

Harry began to pull of my shirt and I let him, enjoying his eagerness. Anyway, I would be taking charge again soon enough. Whenever he touched me I got goosebumps; how could one boy's touch affect me so badly?

It was time to take over the situation before Harry made me forget what I was after. I grabbed his shoulders and pushed him backwards onto the bed. He looked up at me with begging eyes, and I knew exactly what he wanted from me; he wouldn't have to wait for much longer. After we both undressed I lay down besides him and kissed his neck before moving down to his nipples, taking each of them into my mouth before moving down to his cock. Before I did anything else I found my wand and used a cleaning and lubrication spell on him; I want him to moan in pleasure, not in pain. His body trembled when I licked his cock from base to tip. While he was moaning from the attention his cock was receiving, I found his entrance and softly pushed my finger inside him.

I could see that it wasn't comfortable for him so I let my fingers rest inside him and continued to suck his cock. When he had forgotten about the finger I moved it out and in again, and this time he started to relax. I added a second finger when I thought it was safe; things were fine until he tensed again.

"Relax Harry," I purred. I didn't see his face but the muscles around my finger didn't loosen up, and playing with his cock didn't help either. "Relax for me, Harry."

I had two choices: stop and wait until Harry was relaxed,  _ or _ continue until I found the spot that would make him forget about the pain.

I should have waited, but how could I when Harry's spread legs were opened for me and his entrance was calling me? If it was somebody else then maybe I could have held back, but not with Harry. I pushed my fingers inside him and began the search for Harry's spot. When his whole body trembled and shook in ecstasy, and he moaned loudly, I knew I had found it. I waited for him to slow down before softly brushing over his spot again which sent his body into another trembling state. A third finger joined my other two and I began to stretch him, brushing his spot to make him forget the pain I was causing.

When I thought he was prepared enough, I moved up on top of him.

"Don't stop," he begged in a voice filled with passion and lust.

"Do you want something better inside of you, Harry? My cock for instance?" He gasped when I mentioned my cock. Maybe he liked it when I talked dirty to him; after all, I knew he liked me brutal. "You want my cock, Harry?" He licked his lips and nodded. "Tell me how much you want me, then." I thought he wasn't going to say anything but he surprised me.

"I want you so badly that my body hurts." His soft voice sent lightning-like shocks through my body and down to my cock that was hurting even more.

"What do you want me to do to you, Harry?"

"Fuck me," he rasped. I growled in excitement and pushed my cock deep into him, and for a second I forgot everything around me. When I came back to reality and remembered Harry, I moved and tried my best to brush my cock against Harry's spot. He was moaning, but not in pleasure and that made me worry. However, I knew that it wouldn't take long before he would forget the pain.

Then Harry's back suddenly arched and he fisted the sheets so hard that his knuckles turned white; I knew at once what caused that tremendous pleasure. Now that Harry had gotten over the pain I could focus on everything else, bringing both of us to an orgasm.

I slammed my body hard into his, enjoying every thrust that brought our bodies together. Harry made the most amazing noises I'd heard in a long time, moans and screams, begging me to fuck him harder, faster and just to wait sometimes. We continued to move like that for what seemed like hours; hard and passionate, kissing and screaming in harmony.

Harry's moans became irregular so I guessed he wasn't far from coming, I wouldn't last much longer myself so I grabbed Harry's cock and pumped it in the same rhythm as our lovemaking. He whispered something but I was so far gone that I didn't understand him, and then he came. If I came at the same time it would have been amazing; Harry's orgasm almost made me forget my own.

When I was done I fell onto him. My ear was pressed against his chest and I listened to the fast rhythm of his heart that was very slowly starting to calm down. The sound hypnotized me until I almost fell asleep on top of him. Growling, I pulled myself away from him; maybe we could fall asleep like that another time.  _ But I don't want it another time, _ I thought to myself.  _ I'm supposed to get over him  _ now _ , after I have had him _ . My heart hurt a little when I thought about leaving him, which was strange because that had never happened before with others.

"I need to go," I said strongly. Harry still didn't move, maybe he was sleeping.

"Why?" came his small voice, indicating he was awake.

_ Because if I stay I will never want to leave you.  _ That was the truth but it wasn't something I would want to tell him, it was probably a mistake anyway.

"It's getting late."

"Let's talk for a minute," he said, a slight whine to his voice. I wanted to say no but when he looked at me with his beautiful, big, green eyes I couldn't deny him.

"What about?"

"What will happen after this?"

This was something I'd thought about a lot lately, and my conclusion was that it could never work out.

"I don't want it to end," he whispered, and I knew that I should stop him before he began to think about us two together.

"You know that we can't stay together, there are so many things that will play against us: friends, family, and society."

"If I thought it couldn't work I wouldn't have given you my virginity." he said, his voice flat.

That scared me; if I knew he was a virgin I would never have wanted him this way. Everyone knows that most virgins think their first time is with someone they belong to.

"I didn't know you were a virgin," I said a little defensively. How could he, the saviour of the world, the boy who had girls and boys throwing themselves at his feet, be a virgin? "Think about it, Harry, even if we both wanted it nobody else would let us."

"You don't want to be with me? Why did you start this if you didn't want to be with me?" It was clear to me that he was hurt, but what surprised me even more was that I felt like I had done something awful.

Harry got up from the bed and began to dress himself; I wanted to stop him but it was better for him to just leave thinking that I didn't want him. At least then I wouldn't have to hurt his feelings even more.

"You will get over it in the end, Harry. Everyone does."

"If I knew what you really wanted then I would have hexed you harder the first time," he snarled. "I thought you were different from everybody else." How could Harry think that I was different from the rest of the people who wanted to get into his pants? He didn't even know me! We'd never even talked together... "I guess I'm the one to blame."

After he left, the room was unnervingly quiet. I realized that I might have done something exceedingly bad; being here without Harry felt wrong. But this is the way it should be, me alone.


	5. Chapter 5

I felt horrible after the day I let Harry walk out on me, but as time passed I began to turn my attention to something else and managed to forget the aching feeling in my gut that was telling me I did something bad. This time I had my eyes set on a Ravenclaw boy a grade below me; I know he's wanted me since last year but I have had other projects to keep myself occupied with, but now it was time for his reward.

His blue eyes and blond hair was fantastic, better than I imagined at first. If I knew that then I would have offered him a shag a long time ago. I pressed my body against his until he moaned, my hands were ripping off his uniform and my tongue licked its way from his mouth to his cock. He tasted wonderful, but it was far from the perfect taste Harry produced.

Harry tasted innocent; I reminded myself that he  _ was _ innocent. If he had fucked before me then his smell would probably fade away; it was just my mind that was playing with me again. I tried my best to forget Harry but every time I licked, kissed or touched Daniel I thought about Harry, and how I would rather have him under me.

The way Harry affected me was ridiculous; how could Harry have such power over me? I might think about him but damn it if I shouldn't fuck somebody else. And fucking Daniel was refreshing, even if I didn't enjoy him that much.

After I was finished with him I kissed him and left. He knew well enough what to do, the little whore, not that I judge him. I tried my best to think about the amazing orgasm Daniel had but I still couldn't get my mind of Harry.

The only reasonable conclusion I came up with was that Harry had given me something that makes me think of only him, not that I thought it was possible. It's just because he is Harry Potter, and it made me angry that I wanted him because of that.

And the way Harry was avoiding me was getting ridiculous - he reminded me of a five year old child who ignored his parents because he didn't get his will. Acting like that wouldn't help him, it only made me angry. If he wanted to act like a child I would do the same. Starting from tomorrow I will ignore that bastard.

I hate Sundays, not because it's the end of the weekend but because it reminds me about the day I planned to fuck Harry Potter. The day I walked over to Draco and made him tell me about Harry's personal life, the day I found out that I had five chances to capture Harry.

The week was amazing, I won't deny that, but it ended in a horrible way. Harry also succeeded to make me feel like an ass, I hate it. I remind myself that it's because he was a virgin, and all the virgins I have had acted like that, like I had taken something important from them; like they didn't offer it to me. Harry was just like them, letting me take him after a single battle, obeying every command I gave him.

But Harry was so much more. His skin, lips, eyes, and even the way he tried to control me was completely different. He was special. So special that I spent every day thinking about him, comparing everyone that I fucked with the way he did those things, and nobody came close.

Every day was torture; I try to ignore him the same way he ignores me, and I don't engage in any conversation that mentions him, I even tried to look away every time I saw him. I felt proud over the way I manage to ignore him, but he does the same thing so he probably doesn't notice my attempt.

Tonight I have arranged a meeting with a girl, not that I think she will help me forget about Harry - no one do that, sometimes they only makes it worse. But it was better to do something than to sit alone and constantly think about him. I waited for Gina, waiting for her reminded me of Harry and the days I waited for him to finish his detention. Everything I did reminded me of him.

"Hi, handsome, you look better than before." Her entrance didn't interest me, I agreed to one fuck, not to a conversation over something I already knew. So without any delay I grabbed her and pushed into the small room that we would use. She did everything I said, like a puppy that does tricks for rewards. Does anyone have self respect in this school? Don't they know they can say no, or even tell me what they want me to do? Why is it that I always have to guess everything?

Fucking her went faster than I thought. Of course I haven't had an orgasm in four days so that could be the reason. Or maybe she was better than I realized, I wondered if she could be the person that could get my mind off Harry?

She could maybe help me, if it wasn't for her hair; it was horrible - brown, long and neatly combed. If it was black, spiky, messy hair it would be so much better. However, I did love her green eyes, even if they aren't the right shade of green. And her skin is nice, better if it was rougher though. She was perfect, but there was nothing I wouldn't change on her if I had the chance.

That was the moment where I decided to stop trying to find some that could replace Harry and find a way to get Harry back, even if that would be an almost impossible mission since that bastard makes sure I can't even get close to him.

I also decided that if, for some reason, I wouldn't get him back then killing myself would be my next action. Yes, it is drastic, but how can anyone live their life while constantly thinking about someone they can never have? He needs to take me back, that is the only way anyone can be happy.


	6. Chapter 6

The Christmas holidays were only two weeks away, so in order to make Harry mine again I needed a plan. A really good one. And I could start out with something simple, like a letter.

_ Harry, _

_ I am sorry that things ended that way, but I have laid it behind me and I'm ready to move on. Please come back, I miss you. _

_ Kiss. _

I didn't sign it with my name in case someone should accidentally read the letter, the last thing we need right now is publicity about our relationship, if it could be called that.

Harry needed to read the letter first before I could take another step. Waiting wouldn't be easy but this time I have to think about Harry and his needs.

After I sent my letter I sat down to think about what else I could do to get Harry back. It wasn't easy since I have never wanted, or needed, someone back after a breakup. I have seen people buy gifts, chocolate and flowers when they have done something wrong, but I haven't done anything wrong; I just told him the truth, and when is telling the truth wrong?

I felt sure that, after my letter had been sent, that Harry would come and find me and forgive him. But as my waiting hours turned into days I began to feel a growing sense of anger. My anger was so intense that I felt it would only disappear once I had taught him a few lessons on respect. No one ignores me, not even Harry Potter, and the next time I see him I will make sure he knows it.

It must have been my lucky day because two hours later on my trip to the library I saw him, completely alone in the hallway, walking straight at me. He didn't look so great but I don't care, I haven't been that great myself since he left me: I couldn't stop thinking about him and every time I'm with someone else I keep seeing him instead.

When he was close enough I slapped him and he woke up from the strange trance he was in. He deserved more than one slap; if we were alone I would have tied him up to the wall naked in the dungeons and let him freeze until he would understand that he should stop playing games with me.

"Are you really stupid or do you honestly think you can treat me like this and get away with it?" I snarled. Harry looked like he didn't know what I was talking about, but I wouldn't fall for his act. "For two months you have been ignoring me, and now that I send you a letter you don't even reply, you ungrateful git! I've done nothing to deserve this kind of treatment." That is true, Harry was the one that twisted my words and accused me for stealing his virginity.

"You liar." Harry growled. I hadn't thought Harry would attack me physically so I didn't have a chance to defend myself when his fist slammed into my jaw. "Stay the hell out of my life!"

I was still standing but I was disoriented, so I didn't see him leaving. When I realized that he would get away from me I ran over and grabbed him. Brutally I swung him around and tried to hit him but he avoided it with his stupid seeker reflexes. He then grabbed a hold of my clothes, it looked like he was about to hit me again but instead he pushed me away.

There was no way that I would let him get away from me once I had him.

"Let go of me!" I had caught his wrist and managed to twist him around so he fell down on the floor. To be sure he wouldn't escape I sat down on his back. "Let go of me you son of a bitch!" he spat, while trying to release himself.

"You need a lesson in manners, and I can assure you, it will be my pleasure to teach you." I snarled at him.

"Don't you dare do anything, I'll kill you if you touch me again," he said, though his voice was slightly shaky. He was still moving and trying to push me off, and I supposed it was a good thing that I had an advantage in strength.

"You're so sexy when you're angry, Harry," I purred. I lowered my upper body closer to his. "Especially when you beg me to fuck you harder."

I didn't realize what happened before it was too late; I had somehow slackened my hold on him and he had taken advantage of it. Before I knew it I was the one lying on the floor. Harry was already getting up to run away but I managed to grab one of his ankles, causing him to fall down again. He used his free leg to kick me away and managed to hit me both in my chest and face, but I wouldn't let go of him. Clumsily I tried to crawl over and pin him down again, but nothing I did could keep him from trying to hit me and push me off him.

The fight was so intense that I had completely forgotten about magic. I felt like a complete idiot; how could a wizard forget magic? My brain searched for a spell I could use on him, and I quickly found my wand as he was trying to escape.

"Levicorpus." I said, slightly out of breath. I watched as he was lifted up into the air, his sweater fell down and his hips were exposed. My cock grew when I saw his bare torso; if Harry only knew what he was doing to me. But this wasn't about Harry's needs, it was his punishment. Even so, I couldn't help myself from touching his hips softly before moving my hand to his front, a moan escaped me when I brushed over the soft hairs on his stomach, if I traced them upwards I would come to his pants, and with only a little force I would hold his cock in my hand again. Thinking about it made me wonder if he also was turned on by this. I was about to touch him when his hand flew up and slapped mine away.

"Let go of me, you coward!" came his muffled voice. I had almost forgotten that he was still fighting me; it seemed like every time I saw his body I became a mindless fool. I grabbed his throat and pressed, not hard since my intention wasn't to kill him, only to punish him. Harry was still fighting but this time he was trying to free his throat, unsuccessfully.

I knelt down on one knee so we were face to face and looked him straight in the eyes. His attempt to escape me faded when I pressed my lips on his. He didn't kiss me back but he didn't act like he thought it was disgusting and wanted me off. So I let go of him and found my wand; I knew of a spell that really doesn't do much, but in this circumstance it was perfect.

" _ Aduro Ornatus _ ." My eyes lightened up when I saw his sweater slowly burn away to leave his bare skin, which was shining almost like it was covered in oil. The spell didn't harm him of course - that was why it's a useless spell.

My whole body reacted to the vision right in front of me; if I had a camera I would use it because this sight was something I never want to forget.

I was so caught up in Harry that I hadn't noticed the crowd that had gathered around us from on the other floors.

"Mister Zabini!" It was the Gryffindor head of house, McGonagall. Judging by her look I was in big trouble. "Release Potter immediately!" The spell on his sweater couldn't be stopped but I let him go, though it was more like letting him fall, but he deserved it. "Now, both of you follow me."

We both walked behind McGonagall into her office; I watched Harry as he was trying to cover up his body while the sweater was slowly burning away; oh, if only we were alone.

"Do either of you want to explain to me why you were fighting in the middle of the hallway?" she snapped. She was starting at both of us, disappointed, angry and shocked. Most probably because I was fighting Harry; I supposed she only expected Harry and Draco to fight that way. "Mr Potter, why don't you start?"

Taking his side already? What to expect from an old Gryffindor and her Golden Boy. Of course she would never take the side of a Slytherin.

"I was heading towards the main hall, when Zabini stopped me." He looked over at me, but avoided my eyes. "He was angry, and I'm afraid I didn't do anything to prevent the fight."

"I'm very disappointed in you, Potter," she said with a sigh. "What is your story Zabini?"

I found myself stuck for things to say; I was still shocked from the fact that Harry didn't tell on me.

"Like Potter said, I was angry, and when I saw him I decided to take it out on him." None of us were lying, we were just not telling the whole truth. I only hope McGonagall believed us both.

"You should learn to control your feelings, Mr Zabini, and you should learn how to back out of a fight, Mr Potter. I'm afraid you will both get detention for fighting in the hall, and both houses will lose 25 points." Just then I didn't care about the points; seeing Harry's expression when he heard he would have to do detention with me was priceless. "Report to me tomorrow after diner."

When I looked at Harry I saw the last of his sweater vanquish in the flames. I licked my lips; it was torture standing next to him while he was half naked.

"Mr Zabini, I must insist that the sweater will have to be replaced. How you both go about it is up to you two. Now off to bed."

None of us said a word until we were out in the hallway alone.

I leaned into Harry's ear and whispered, "You were saved today Harry, but next time I'll make sure nobody will be able to save you."

"What makes you think there will be a next time? If you ever touch me again I'll cut off your hands," he hissed. However, before he finished his sentence I dragged him towards me so hard that he crashed into me, and I kissed him. It was a violent, claiming, possessive kiss. When I let go of him I looked at his flushed face.

"I'm warning you Blaise, don't do it again," he said, his voice breaking weakly. I traced his chest with my index finger, waiting for him to do something, but he never moved.

"Why don't you save those threats for Draco? And give me your passion when we're alone together." He slapped my hand away again.

"We'll never be together," he whispered. My finger travelled up to his lips and traced them once before I left him there, half naked, flushed and probably as horny as me.


	7. Chapter 7

As strange as it sounds, I had been looking forward to the detention, but only because it was with Harry.

Like before he was ignoring me. Sometimes I found it cute, but at the moment I was finding it extremely aggravating. The right thing for me to do would be to slap him; he deserved it for getting me into trouble. Maybe I should have thought twice about starting a fight in the hallway, but he didn't do anything to stop it so he is just as much to blame for it as me.

At precisely seven o'clock, McGonagall opened the office door to let us in. If there was something that woman knew it was time.

"I have thought about what the right punishment for you two could be, writing lines just doesn't seem to be good enough. I've decided that you two should help Madame Pomfrey clean the infirmary."

Surely I'd heard wrong; who makes a wizard do manual work? That's what house elves and maids are for! I should have told her what I thought about the punishment, but it wouldn't help getting me out of the situation so I kept my mouth shut. Strangely it didn't look like Harry was bothered by the punishment, maybe he'd been punished with manual work before.

Pomfrey gave us our orders like it was a completely ordinary conversation. Harry nodded while I tried to find a way out of this awful punishment; there was no way that I would touch a bed that someone sick might have been lying in. The bad thing was that Pomfrey divided the room in two, and I got the side that looked most used. Luckily for me she left after she made sure we knew our tasks. Some alone time with Harry was just what I needed to brighten my day.

"You're pretty good at that Harry," I said with true earnest. I watched him like a hawk, trying to figure out how to change the sheets without magic. It didn't look like it was that difficult, but I wouldn't actually try it myself.

However, Harry's decision to ignore me was getting on my nerves. I wouldn't do anything to stop him, yet. Instead I merely asked him a question I was truly curious about.

"Why didn't you tell on me?" Now that was a reasonable question, yet he still ignored me. By now he'd reached his third bed, and I decided enough was enough. Let's see if he can ignore my personal questions... "When's your next detention Harry? I can't wait to feel the inside of you again."

"What will it take to shut you up?" he snapped finally. "Should I do your side too?" It was an excellent offer, but of course I didn't want to stop talking only because he presented me with a good offer.

"What if you come over here and do my side? Then I'll do you."

This time he didn't answer, instead he continued with the beds on his side.

It didn't take him more than fifteen minutes to change six beds, and the good thing about him finishing was that now there would be more time for us. He had his back turned against me, I don't know if he knew I was coming or not but he didn't show it. Before he could do anything I fisted my hand in his hair and yanked his head backwards, almost causing him to fall over. I kissed his lips once before I pushed him down on the bed he had just finished. He tried to roll off the bed but it was too late; I'd taken control of the bed with magic and made it tie Harry down.

"You Slytherin bastard, let go of me!" he growled.

He was trying everything to release himself, not that it would work since I was especially good in these kinds of spells.

"It's time for your punishment, Harry," I whispered, loud enough for him to hear me. His eyes flew up in horror. "You've been such a naughty boy; you need to learn obedience and loyalty."

I walked over to his side and stared down at him, and he stared right back up at me in fear. Whatever he might be thinking was probably far from what I had planned. My wand traced his ribs, and I noticed his whole body was shaking; I wasn't sure if it was from fear or excitement but it didn't matter, it still aroused me.

"Please let go of me, Blaise," he said calmly. He was begging me already? I supposed that was a good start, but he hadn't learned his lesson; I couldn't let him get away that easy.

"No, Harry." I placed my wand next to his hip and climbed onto him. I began with soft kisses, but they changed into passionate kisses in no time. I knew he was turned by this; he began breathing heavier and was moaning slightly. When I was sure he was relaxed I moved down his body and opened his pants; this was the good part. I released his semi hard cock and took it in my hand. Harry began to moan louder and move his lower body in a needy way.

I licked my lips before I attacked his cock, licking, sucking and playing like it was the first time I had seen it. I know it was supposed to be his punishment but I couldn't stop myself; I'd longed for this part of Harry for so long now that I couldn't hold myself back any more. Faster and faster I sucked his cock, taking all of it in my mouth and trying to make him come.

I know I should stop - this was his punishment after all - but I couldn't control my actions. The only thing that did help me punish him was to keep a constant pressure on the base of his cock so he wouldn't get any release.

"Please, it hurts," he said huskily. I knew it hurt, but he deserves it. The reason for his punishment had long since vanished from my mind but I know he deserves it.

I stopped sucking him and sat up, still holding his cock so he couldn't come. I could see it was really uncomfortable, and if he could he would probably kill me for causing him this kind of torturous pain.

"Blaise," he whispered. His half opened eyes, flushed face and moaning voice was enough to make me want to let him reach his orgasm; he couldn't take it much more and neither could I. I let go of his cock and watched as it exploded right in front of me, it was almost unreal.

When he was calm I took my wand and got off him, removed the spell from the bed, cleaned him and smiled; he looked so peaceful.

"I hope we'll do this again, Harry," I said, running my fingers through his hair.

He didn't say a word and didn't move a muscle; he must be exhausted.

"Before you go, change the beds on my side. If McGonagall finds out I didn't do anything I'll be angry, and the next time I won't let you come."

When I walked out I realized I had forgotten to lock the doors; thank Merlin nobody came in during his ' _ punishment' _ . That would have been difficult to explain.


	8. Chapter 8

I'm not the kind of person who likes to go out in public very often; most of the time I get bored and leave, or insult someone and then leave. I knew, once the flyer's arrived, that Pansy would force me to join her. I tried my best to protest, telling her that there was nothing there for me. I even reminded her about the time she forced me to join one of her own family dinners: a complete fiasco. My mother taught me to behave no matter what the circumstance and I did behave, until Pansy's mother hit on me. Don't get me wrong, I would have taken her offer... if Pansy wasn't there. But it didn't seem like Pansy cared about that, not any more at least.

She got her will in the end.

The only thing I could do then was to keep quiet until I saw an opportunity to leave. I was standing besides Pansy, dressed in my finest dress robes, doing absolutely nothing and bored out of my mind. I knew that she was already planning to leave me, even if she tried to act like she didn't mind standing beside me once Draco arrived at the party.

"Don't act like you want to be with me Pansy, go," I said in a bored tone. She smiled softly and left; this way I wouldn't have to wait for her to excuse herself and never return.

I looked around at all the students and teachers; why anyone bothers to show up to a dance where alcohol is forbidden is beyond my understanding. I wanted to leave, and I would have if I hadn't seen Harry right then, dancing. I don't want to forbid him from doing anything but he could at least have chosen someone more worthy, not that blond Ravenclaw girl. But when I saw who his next dance partner was I would have preferred Lovegood.

I was glaring at them, Harry and that sickening Weasley girl. How dare she touch him, especially his ass?! And why doesn't he try to stop her? I was shocked to see that he continued to dance with her the next dances. So for the next five dances she was grinding her body against his while touching him in improper places, I tried to stay calm but it was a hard task. I couldn't leave now that Harry was making such an ass of himself.

I stood in the same position a long time; my eyes followed every move that Harry made. I wouldn't let him get away that easy.

It must have been my lucky day when Harry left the dance on his own. I decided to followed him like a hawk, not caring if anyone saw me, or if I was seen by Harry. I hoped he would see me and turn around, so I wouldn't have to run after him. It seemed like tonight was going to be a lucky one because, as I followed him around a corner, he was waiting for me.

"Are you turning into a stalker, Blaise?" Harry asked, arms folded.

How dare he talk to me like that after he let the Weasley girl touch every private part of him on the dance floor? However, I didn't say anything; what was the point in answering such immature questions?

"What do you want?" he snapped.

"Well, since it's Christmas soon, I wanted to see you naked with a green bow tied around your cock."

His eyes looked shocked but overall he managed to keep a cool appearance. I walked closer to him and growled out, "What in the seven dwarfs land did you think you were doing back there?"

"What do you mean?" He acted like he hadn't done anything, that lying, cheating, annoying bastard!

"I'm referring to you letting Weasley rub herself on you like you were her love toy!" I snarled.

I could see the anger rising in Harry; his jaw was clicking and his fists were clenched.

I was expecting him to get angry but he was still calm. "I'm no one's love toy – especially not yours – so get your head out of your ass, Blaise,"

"Then you shouldn't let that slut touch you! I'm not the one who is making a fool of myself, or drooling after you in public like that whore!"

"Oh yes, I forgot; you prefer doing it in private, don't you?" Harry's voice was still calm but it had a slight edge to it. "Why are you following me anyway? Don't you know that whatever we had was over the day you said you didn't want to be with me, I haven't forgotten."

"I never said I didn't want to be with you!" I said exasperatedly. "You're just twisting my words!"

"We didn't talked for more than five minutes, so there can't be that much I have twisted," Harry said coldly.

"Well that doesn't matter," I said, trying to stay composed. "I don't even care about that now." It was a lie, but it was also true, I didn't care if I said we couldn't be in a relationship, he is still mine.

"No, you care about Ginny trying to capture my attention." His attempt to sound like he didn't care failed when I heard how hurt he was.

"Of course I care about that slut trying to get you in bed! You're mine, Harry," I said with a smirk.

"I'm nobody's," he hissed.

I edged even closer. "She doesn't care for you the same way I care about you."

"And what way is that? You know, it doesn't even matter; she cares enough since she actually wants to stay with me, compared to you."

I know I should stop being so angry; I could clearly see that he was getting upset, but once I'm enraged it's not easy to stop.

"If you do anything with her you'll be sorry," I said, my voice deep with anger.

"Oh? And what will you do? Rape me again?"

"I never raped you, I don't rape anybody."

How could he think I raped him? I never do anything that the other person doesn't want me to. They can always say no and I would stop, as long as they meant it of course.

"You brainless twit; just wait. I'll do whatever I want, even if it is fucking Ginny."

My eyes narrowed; he wouldn't dare... That damn Gryffindor was just trying to get under my skin.

"Don't you  _ dare _ , Harry; you're better than that."

He smirked at me in a Slytherin way and left, and that made me nervous. Did he really mean it? I got goosebumps thinking about Harry with Weasley; they didn't belong together. Harry is mine. He was mine the instant I lusted for him.

Just wait Harry, if I find out you have done anything with her you will be sorry.

Nobody likes school, but if hours of boring subjects are what I need to have to be close to Harry then so be it. I would rather sit the whole day with professor Binns than be so far away from Harry. Two weeks of Christmas holiday would be torture. Every hour that lead to the beginning of the holiday felt like mandrakes screaming right into my ears - horribly painful. And this is all Harry's fault.

The whole train ride back to platform Nine and Three Quarters was long and slow. It seemed like I couldn't stop thinking about Harry.

I thought that Draco said Harry always spends his Christmas holiday at Hogwarts, so why didn't he this year? Was there any reason for him to leave the school this year? Was I the reason? Did he do it only to mess with my head? That must be the only reason.

It was surely only to mess with me... he wouldn't actually have sex with her when he likes me. He's a good boy compared to me, that is why a relationship between us won't work. But what if it wasn't only talk... what if he actually did sleep with her to prove his point? To prove that I don't own him? If he needs to do that to prove something then why do I still have the strong pull towards him? I've already taken him, but I still find myself wanting to be with him.

It would have been so much better if I was under the influence of a love potion; at least then I would know what to blame my feelings on. Whatever causes these strange feelings to appear will surely disappear as time passes, it's best to just wait and let time fly by.

Most of the vacation I would spend alone since Mother was out dating most of the day. She had found a new man which she hopes will be her new project, or husband as she calls it, it doesn't bother me that another man has been caught in her poisonous net, not as much as it bothered me when I was younger, I just felt sorry for the old men. The bad thing about being alone all that time was that Harry never left my mind.


	9. Chapter 9

Seeing Harry for the first time in two weeks was horrible. Well, seeing him wasn't that bad but seeing  _ her _ with him was torturing me. Weasley was standing so close to him that any fleas she might have could jump straight onto him. And sometimes she would even kiss his cheek and cuddle with him, how dare she. It made me sick and angry, but I knew I couldn't do anything about it, right now.

It didn't get any better on the train ride back to school either. I didn't see them, thankfully, but Draco couldn't stop talking about their improper exposed relationship, like he was so much better; fucking Pansy in the middle of the common room. I know it was late at night and anyone that could see them was probably sleeping but that doesn't give them the right to sneak around and fuck where I'm sitting every day.

And things didn't get any better when we sat in the great hall either; Weasley was still hanging over Harry like a parasite, which annoyed the hell out of me.

Their strange behaviour made me realize the possibility that they had sex over the holiday was huge. If Harry didn't return her affections I would have know he was lying, but when she kissed him he kissed her back, and when she rubbed his arm he placed his hand over hers; it was like they were a couple! How could he want her? She's weak and annoying and completely wrong for him.

Our eyes met only once that evening, and only for three seconds, but it felt like forever. When he looked at me it looked like he wanted to say something, but instead he smirked, which annoyed me so much that I left the hall before I had eaten anything. What did he think he was doing?

I didn't know what to do, Harry's sickening behaviour should have made me forget about him, but all it did was make me want him even more. Maybe he knew what it did to me, maybe he did it on purpose. I know I should ignore them; it was his choice if he decided to lower himself to the same slutty level as the Weasley whore. I don't even want him like he wants me, but still I can't stop thinking about him.

Ignoring them wasn't easy, especially not while I was waiting for something to interfere with them; for example, lightning hitting that annoying whore, or something as simple as Snape coming and giving him detention all day and night until the end of this semester. Anything would work as long as I didn't have to see them making out in the middle of breakfast, lunch, dinner, and every other time I saw them together.

Sadly nothing happened. Two weeks had passed and they acted the same, if not worse. It was bad enough seeing them together every time we were in the same room, but after a few days Draco began to comment and discuss their love life right in front of me, even after I told him to shut up, and then Pansy did the same thing. And before I knew it everyone around me seemed to talk about Harry. Was there really nothing else to talk about apart from Harry Potter's love life?

Then after another two weeks of seeing them, as well as hearing everyone talking about them, I decided it was enough; I had to stop them. I know it would be difficult because when that boy decides to do something it's difficult to stop him, but I needed to try anyway. My plan was simple; I would skip class, find Harry and slap him so hard he would forget about that girl. It was a simple plan, and even if I knew I should plan it a little better I decided it was the first thing I needed to do.

So I skipped my Herbology class, telling the teacher that I didn't feel all that well and left; she would probably think that I would go and see Pomfrey. After I closed the door behind me I tried to remember what Draco told me about Harry's school schedule, and if I wasn't mistaken Harry would be sitting in the Defence Against the Dark Arts class.

Confidently I walked up to the classroom, ready to slap Harry, only to remember that he was in a class with other people. How was I supposed to slap him in a room full of students studying defence and who was ready to defend him? Not to mention the new teacher who worked as an Auror... I must have really wanted to slap that boy because I managed to come up with an excellent plan in no time; who had the power to take a student out of class without anyone asking why? The Headmaster.

I knocked on the door and opened it; everyone in the room turned their attention to me, I acted like it didn't bother me.

"Professor Dumbledore requests the presence of Mr Potter," I said loud and clear.

The teacher, Mr Snickle, looked like he didn't know what to do; how on earth did he get the teaching position? Not to mention his Auror position? After a number of seconds of silence he responded and told Harry he could leave. I watched the slut as he hesitantly got up from his chair and made his way over to the door, towards me, looking slightly suspicious.

I stepped away from the door until I was sure that nobody could see me. When he exited the room and closed the door behind him he folded his arms and stared straight at me.

"What do you want, Zabini?" He said it in the same tone Draco uses when he is speaking to Harry; they unwillingly and unconsciously spend too much time together.

"What makes you think I want anything?" I asked innocently.

"Dumbledore's not here today, so what do you want?" he said impatiently. That made me wonder how many others knew Dumbledore wasn't there, would they all discover our relationship now?

"Then why did you come?" I said, hoping that he wouldn't see I was scared to be discovered. "Your friends are probably wondering why you left to see Dumbledore since he isn't here."

"I'm the only one that knows he is gone, so if I didn't go  _ then  _ they would think it was strange."

What kind of relationship did he have with the old man? They weren't related as far as I knew, and I'd never heard that Dumbledore was friends with Harry's family.

"Speak; why did you lie to get me out of class?" he growled.

I had almost forgotten what I came to do, so as he was waiting for an answer I slapped him. His head was forced to the left at the impact of my hit.

When he came to his senses, he looked at me in anger.

"What the hell was that for?!" he exclaimed.

"You know what it's for, you slut," I hissed.

The green eyes flashed and I could see how angry he was.

" _ I'm _ the slut? What about you, Mr Cassanova? I bet you don't even know how many people you've slept with!" He began to shout, which was a bad thing since we were still standing outside his classroom.

I should have asked him to come with me to a place where we could talk without anyone hearing us, but I wasn't thinking reasonably right now, not when he accused me for being a slut. Instead I grabbed his neck and pressed my body against his, smashing my lips against his and making sure he didn't have enough breath to shout. I could feel his hands on my arms, trying to push me away; he might want me off but I could feel his true desires, and they wanted me to do even more.

I didn't know how much time we had left before the class was over, so it was risky to do anything, but how could anyone control themselves in a situation like this? I know I had some control because if I didn't have any I would take him right where we were standing, not caring about anyone else.

Harry would probably push me away or hit me but that was a risk I was willing to take. After all, I haven't been near him for over a month. I pushed my groin against his and felt his cock harden; I know he wants me so why was he still fighting me?

It wasn't easy to do what I wanted where we stood so I pushed him against the wall. At least now I could use my whole body without worrying about Harry falling down. I let go of his mouth and started to suck his neck while still moving my pelvis in a rhythm that made both of us crazy. That was the moment I realized that he was moving with me, not fighting me like I first thought.

That thought was enough to give me an orgasm.

After the sensation of my orgasm had passed I rested my head against his neck; I felt tired and wanted to sleep, but not right now I reminded myself. I released Harry and took a step back; he looked tired too but angry.

"I guess I'll see you later," I said with a smirk.

"What about me?" It sounded like he was pleading me to finish what I had began to do; I had almost forgotten that he hadn't had any release. But I wouldn't give him any release, he needed to be punished.

"You can ask your girlfriend to finish it for you," I snarled, not able to keep my calm demeanour when thinking of the Weasley girl.

I didn't want to stay and hear what kind of reply he had so I left; if it was true and they were together it would break my heart to know it.

I have told both myself and Harry that I don't care about him that way, but now I wasn't so sure about my feelings. And how could Harry be with that slut? Did he think I didn't care at all about him?


	10. Chapter 10

I was in a fairly good mood the rest of that week, it could be because I didn't see Harry with Weasley more than one time, or it could be that for the first time in a long time one day passed without me thinking about Harry. Not thinking about him could have something to do with not seeing them. Whatever the reason were I was happy and thought nothing could ruin my day.

As soon as I thought that I knew it was a mistake, I shouldn't have thought that. Most times when someone think nothing can go wrong everything does, it's like a curse. I only had to wait and then something horrible would happen to me, something that would make me wish I would just die.

The next five hours passed without anything major happening, but that didn't mean I was safe, maybe the longer it took the curse to strike the worse it would be. Then another ten hours passed and nothing happen, just when you think you are safe then something will happen. But I couldn't sit up the whole night expecting something bad to come my way, so I went to bed, scared of what might happen to me.

The whole weekend passed with nothing bad happening, I thought I was safe but I wasn't sure. Maybe I was becoming paranoid, and that didn't fit me well. Monday came, of course that seemed like a bad day with herbology, study of ancient runes, history of magic and arithmancy, all the boring subjects, but it would be stupid to say that it was because of the bad things that I was expecting to happen.

I thought I was safe, until I sat in the common room that evening and overheard Draco and Pansy discuss Harry again. Normally I would walk away, but something kept me there, something that caught my attention.

"I should have known that he would choose that Weasley bitch, her family doesn't have a knut so of course she needs to capture the rich Potter so they can survive." I wasn't sure exactly what they were talking about but I knew it was good. I tried not to act interested when I looked over at them and asked what they were talking about.

"Haven't you heard, the Weasley girl have been going around telling all her friends that she is engaged to Potter, isn't that just disgusting?" He had no idea how disgusting it actually is, and how much it's irritated me.

It felt like my whole world had collapsed, how could he be engaged? It was surely a lie planted by the little Weasley whore; Harry would never agree to do something that horrible. Or was it another attempt to make me jealous? Surely he wouldn't do something that stupid to gain my attention, or would he? But there was other ways of making me jealous, he didn't need to become engaged, especially not with the bitch. I was already jealous, even if I would never admit it.

If I knew where he is right now I would march right over to him and demand an answer. But that would have to wait until tomorrow, it was late and even if he wasn't sleeping he would be in the Gryffindor common room, probably hugging and kissing that lying monster, surrounded by other heroic Gryffindor's that would kill me if I touched him.

The next day when I woke up I was in a horrible mood, my dreams have been haunted by Ginny Weasley, she was dancing and sending blow kisses towards me; I wanted to strangle her but I couldn't reach her, it was a nightmare. So no wonder that when I saw her walking into the great hall, grinning widely, I couldn't stop my next action.

It was really early so we were almost completely alone, not that it mattered to me. I almost jumped over the table to where she was standing and then I pushed her so hard that she fell over. "You're such a slut." I said in a annoyed way; she haunts my dreams where I can't touch her, but there is nothing that is holding me back now.

"What is your problem Zabini?" I wanted to tell her that Harry is mine but that wouldn't help me get him back, he had already established that he is no one's property.

I just glared as she managed to pull herself up from the floor.

"Nothing," I growled and left her before I got overly angry. She looked confused; of course she didn't understand, she had no idea what kind of relationship I have with Harry, nobody knows. I found myself wishing for the first time that I had a public relationship with Harry.

What happened between me and Weasley was of course the juicy news that ran through the school; it wouldn't take long before Harry would hear that his so called fiancé was pushed by a Slytherin, I was sure he would be angry at what I did. Of course everyone is expecting him to go and defend her honour, not that there was much to defend. I waited all day for him he never came, that was both annoying me and shocked me, maybe he didn't care about her. When I thought about it I realized I hadn't seen him all day.

Draco and Pansy was the only ones that talked with me after that morning; everyone else was avoiding me. I couldn't blame them, I would avoid anyone that are as much problem as me as well, especially when I'm angry. I was sure everyone thought I had anger problems, since I was in a fight with Harry not so long ago and now I assaulted Weasley.

While I was growing up Mother taught me about keeping a low profile, and I have managed to do so for a long time, until Harry came into my life. I didn't seek this attention, but I couldn't back down when my life was such a mess without Harry.

"What do you think you are doing?" said a familiar voice later that evening when I was bending over a book in the library.

I looked up and saw Harry; he was whispering since we were in a library but I could still hear his rage under the soft words. "Why did you push Ginny? She hasn't done anything to you."

"I'm sure everything she does is to annoy me, and everything you do is to make me jealous." I said, pleased by his sudden appearance just when I thought he didn't care. But it also confirm that they were a couple.

"You're so vain, Blaise," he snarled, "and stupid. Stop this foolish act and grow up."

I'm no child that he can tell to grow up; he should maybe get his head out of his ass and realize that Weasley is only using him just as much as he is using her to make me jealous.

"Why don't  _ you _ grow up instead; don't you see that she is using you?"

"You can't talk, Mr  _ I'm to good for anyone. _ " I would have slapped him if he was standing closer. "I'm with her now, and you can't do anything to change that, so stop trying Blaise."

And then he left just as fast as he came, swinging his hips while leaving the library; he sure knew how to make an entrance, and exit.

Harry is a tease and knows it, or maybe he doesn't know it. Normally I could read people easy, but Harry was still a mystery to me today as the first day I looked at him and wondered how he tasted.

Everything that is happening is destroying me, and I was beginning to feel the depressing thoughts that was taking over my mind.


	11. Chapter 11

The room was dark; exactly how i like it. There was no point in being depressed in a room filled with bright and happy sunshine. Of course the weather gods - if there were such things - decided to make it sunny when it felt like the end of the world for me.

Draco came in and tried to brighten my mood again by saying something rude about Harry and that whore. He ended up with a nasty spell on his lower part of the body and a warning that the next person who tried to lighten my mood would end up in St. Mungos.

Maybe I took it too far, being so angry all the time, but nobody put in my position would be in a better condition.

And because of that horrible mood I rarely saw Harry, it was like my rage was blocking him from my mind, and everybody else too for that matter. The only thing I did know was that my life had taken a turn for the worst.

Days passed and I was still in an exceedingly bad mood. I could hear the students around me talk and laugh, but I didn't see them; it was like I could only see my rage. I thought that someone would offer to help me again, but I guess that after my threats they were afraid of me, even Draco seemed edgy round me.

I didn't spend the whole week solely hating everything and everybody; I did actually try to find a way that could help me out of this mood. Of course I didn't think there was much that could help me but it wouldn't hurt to try. In the end I decided to try Snape, he seemed to have a potion for everything so maybe he knew what I could do with my bad mood, or bad memories.

I was standing in front of Snape, quiet and cold. I didn't want him to know how bad things actually were. I knew of one potion that could help me to forget, though it was difficult to brew, not to mention on the edge of illegal, but the old potion master must have authority to brew it.

"And what is it for?" he asked suspiciously after I'd told him what I wanted. Of course he wouldn't give me the potion just like that. I might be in his house but he doesn't trust anyone, especially not a Slytherin, even though he knows I'm not a Death Eater.

"To forget a person," I replied truthfully. As usual he glared at me in a way that made me want to both run away and tell him everything. If only I had that kind of power, then I would never be bothered by anyone again.

"Does this person have a name?" Snape said, one eyebrow raised. I debated with myself; should I tell him? If I do then he will probably ask for more details, and how much am I really willing to share?

"The person is... well, it's a  _ private _ love affair, sir," I said, hoping he wouldn't push any further.

Miraculously enough he nodded and got up from his chair, walked over to his potion cupboard and removed the wards. Then, after a few seconds of staring at what seemed like hundreds of small potion bottles he grabbed one and handed it over to me.

I wondered if he knew who the person was and decided to help me, or if it was because he just felt sorry for me. If he felt sorry for me then he could take the potion back, I don't want any pity from anyone, including my professor.

But I didn't give it back; I needed it to live.

"There are directions on how to take it. Do  _ not  _ exceed the dose, understand?" I nodded and left with the vial tightly in my fist, heading straight to my bed.

The potion itself was green, just like his eyes, why couldn't I forget about him the normal way?

I looked at it, wondering if it would work. I shook my head; of course it will, I shouldn't question Snape's ability with potion brewing.

After reading the instructions I tapped the bottle five times with my wand, one tap for each agonizing month. I held the bottle up against my lips. The essence of the potion filled my nostrils; it smelled like flowers on a rainy day. And even if I didn't have any memory of Harry and flowers and rain I still thought about him. This must be what obsession feels like.

That was what made me tilt the bottle and swallow the content; I refuse to be chained up by my feelings. The liquid tasted worse than I thought, but I didn't care, just so long as it helps me.

After I managed to swallow the whole potion I felt tired. It was like the potion was sucking the life out of me. I had a horrific thought that maybe I had the wrong potion and this one was killing me.

I knew it was just my mind playing with me. If Snape wanted to kill me he wouldn't give me a vial that could be traced back to him. Before I became dangerously paranoid I lay down in my bed. It was better to try and sleep it off than try to stay awake, thinking that I might be dying.

The next morning I woke up to a bright, sunny day. I felt completely rejuvenated, new and fresh, anything that was the opposite of what I'd felt like the last week. I sat up in my bed and looked around, why was the room so dark? When I remembered it was because of my horrible mood I almost laughed; how could I be so low that I preferred the dark instead of the light?

What caused my depression in the first place is also a mystery, I know it was something important but I can't remember.

When I walked into the common room smiling everyone in my house looked at me strangely. Since I couldn't remember the reason for my awful mood I didn't understand why they all looked at me so strange.

Luckily for me I don't care what the reason might have been. I prefer to lay things behind me and move forward, and the potion I took was to forget something that I wanted to forget, so what was the point in trying to remember it?

Being in a good mood felt strange, especially since nobody talked to me. I know I prefer it that way but that doesn't mean I want them to avoid me like they avoided Peeves. But as the days passed and they saw I was normal again they smiled, said hello, talked with me and even invited me to join them.

Things started to become normal again, except that I couldn't get rid of the feeling that someone was watching me. In the beginning I told myself that everyone was watching to see what I would do next, but everyone in my house had gone back to normal so it couldn't be them. I tried to ignore the feeling but after a week it began to get creepy.

I would have looked for the person who was making me feel uneasy but I forgot all about it when I received a letter from Mother. She never sent me anything, so seeing as she'd sent one now meant it had to be something important.

And it was important, but not only that; it was bad news.

Death Eaters had been lurking around our home trying to enter; apparently their ugly, deranged leader wants my mother to join, and me too.

We have done a great job avoiding them, and everyone else, come to that; there aren't many that know our family well, so why would he be interested in me?

Draco came over to where I was reading the letter; I had to use all of my strength not to jump him and hit him. He was probably the one who told his  _ Master _ about my family. I know his dirty little secret, he's tried to hide it but I knew he had that ugly tattoo on his arm. He and his whole family are weak; I would rather die than serve their lord.

"What you got there?" he asked. Like he didn't already know, the sneaky ferret, but I acted normal.

"I got an invitation home," I said flatly.

It wasn't true but it would be soon enough. I needed to find a way to get home and get rid of the malevolent Death Eaters who were right outside my mother's house, waiting for her.

"Something wrong?" he simpered.

"Something like that." I folded the letter and pushed it down into my pocket before I left Draco standing completely alone.

Three minutes later I was standing outside Dumbledore's office, requesting a meeting with him which – luckily – was granted at once.

The Headmaster's office was filled with everything that one could imagine, I wondered how anyone could find anything in this mess. Then I spotted Dumbledore sitting behind the big wooden desk, reading a big book.

"How may I help you, Mr Zabini?" he asked in a fatherly tone without looking up from his book. I decided at once that I needed to say it right out.

"I need a pass to travel home."

The old man stopped his reading and placed his book on the desk and looked me straight in the eyes.

"Do you have any reason to leave school in the beginning of this term?"

Oh, how I longed for Snape. At least he would understand it was important and know not to ask stupid questions.

"I believe my mother is in great danger," I said as calmly as possible.

"What kind of danger?"

Was this old man deaf as well as senile? He treated me like I was a child; when someone says "great danger" it means g _ reat danger. _

"Death Eaters."

I thought that once I mentioned the Death Eaters he would at least look worried, but instead he sat back into his chair and stroked his beard.

"Oh my, that is bad."

He didn't understand it was bad when I said great danger? Oh, how I was looking forward to the end of this semester, then I won't have to see Dumbledore or anyone else who is just as dim-witted as him.

"I'm afraid I can't let you leave."

I can tell you now, it's a good thing that I happen to be excellent at hiding emotions because the first thing I wanted to do when I heard him deny me a trip home was to cut him in two.

"I cannot let a student run straight into danger. However, I can send a ministry agent over to keep an eye on your mother so no harm will happen."

That wasn't what I wanted! I don't want someone to stare at the Death Eaters, I need someone that will kill them for trying to recruit me and my mother!

"I need to go home," I said firmly.

"I'm sorry, Mr Zabini, but I can't allow you to leave." I turned around from the old goat and walked away, but when he stopped me I thought, perhaps, that he had changed his mind. However, instead he asked me if I had bought a new sweater.

"New sweater?" I asked impatiently. What was this old man talking about?

"You'd better talk with him and come up with some sort of agreement for how to replace the old sweater."

It didn't look like he wanted to say anything else so I left. What on earth was that man talking about? What sweater and with who? I couldn't remember anything about a sweater. Unless... unless that was what I tried to forget by taking the potion?

I didn't want to dig into my past, and I still don't, but it seems like I have no choice. The first thing to do now was to find Draco and see what he knows.


	12. Chapter 12

Draco knew what had happened but not  _ why  _ it happened, which was what I really needed to know. No one else seemed to know either. Apparently I was in a fight with Potter, then shoved his so-called 'fiancé' so she fell. I vaguely remember doing that, but I haven't got a clue as to what the reason that lay behind my action was. That only strengthened my belief that I took the potion to forget Potter, but why?

Things must have been really serious because I would never resort to taking a potion to solve any problems; that was the easy way out, the cowards way. However, as much as I wanted to figure out why I wanted to forget Potter, he had to wait; I had more important things to do, like finding a way to escape this institute and help my mother. I know she's strong but that doesn't mean she would reject any help from me.

I was thinking that, since Dumbledore wouldn't let me leave, I could try Snape, but he would have to ask Dumbledore again so I would be back to where I started. I tried to come up with another plan but my thoughts were rudely interrupted by Pansy.

"Blaaaaiise, guess what?" she crooned. I didn't need to guess because I already knew; it was why I had been avoiding her all day. The school had decided to try out something new this year on Valentine's day, Merlin help us. They decided to throw a party for the fifth to seventh years. And I know that, whenever there was a party of any kind, Pansy would want to take me with her, even though she knew she would leave me after ten minutes.

"Fine, I'll come," I groused, exasperatedly. Five minutes of her constant nagging was more than I could take. I could have continued to say no but she is a good friend, and I didn't have many of those.

I also agreed because I thought that once I said yes she would leave me alone, but of course it wasn't that easy. She then decided to sit down beside me and ask me what she should wear; and by that she meant what kind of dress Draco would find most attractive. Not being able to escape her meant that I wouldn't be able to have some peace so I could find a way out of this hell hole to go home and kill those bastard Death Eaters. Not that I thought I would be able to come up with a good plan just because I was left alone - it made me feel so useless. I told myself not to worry, Mother has managed to escape from certain sticky situations plenty of times, this shouldn't be any more difficult; but that didn't mean I didn't want to help out.

Maybe I shouldn't have told Dumbledore the truth, maybe I should have lied about the potential danger back home. I could have said my mother was sick, or someone in my family died, or any other lie that could get me out of this school.

Surprisingly the answer of how to leave the school came to me in the form of a letter. When I received the second letter from Mother I thought that something even worse had happened, but it was only good news. The man that she has been dating has asked her to marry him, and the wedding is in two weeks.

I'm sure the wedding is scheduled so early because of the Death Eaters. She probably fears they will attack her, or even worse, her fiancé, and if he should die before they are married she wouldn't get anything from him. Now I have a reason to leave the school, but I still need Dumbledore to accept it.

Again I went up to his office and requested a meeting with him, again I was let in at once, and again did I walk through the room that lead to the big wooden desk where the old Headmaster sat hidden behind his big dusty books.

He didn't say anything, just waited for me to talk; maybe he thought I would try to beg him to let me go home.

"I need a pass to go home," I stated. I didn't beg.

"I thought I said so before that I can't let a child expose themselves to danger, Mr Zabini?" he said, peering over his spectacles. "I've ordered an Auror to watch your house, and so far I have not received any report that anything has happened with your mother."

"But sir, I need a pass to attend a wedding." I deliberated on whether I should tell him it's my mother's... No, he might use it against me.

"May I ask who is getting married?" he questioned politely.  _ You may, but I don't need to answer, I know my rights you old fool, _ I thought bitterly, wishing I could say those words to him.

"I'm sorry, but that's private, sir."

"Tell me the truth, Zabini, will there be a wedding?" Dumbledore asked, his voice firm.

"There will, Mother just announced the date, it's in two weeks on Saturday." Damn it! I can't believe I fell for his trap and told him that it was my mother's. But he didn't say anything, he just sat and and looked at me. "I can ask her to send you a confirmation if you want, her fiancé can probably sign it too if you ask for it."

"I do believe you, my boy, but I'm afraid you might use that opportunity to do something that might put you in danger." His reason was clear; he obviously didn't want me to get hurt, because if I did then he would feel responsible since it was he who let me leave. I could understand him because my mother feels the same way if anything happens to me because of her decision. "You should know that I do not want any students killed in this war." I nodded in response. "As long as you promise not to do anything that might endanger you I will let you leave for the wedding."

I should have told him that he couldn't make me promise anything, but he was right. I know I am angry and if I were to do anything in that state of mind I could get seriously injured, or killed, and nobody would gain anything from that.

"I promise, sir." Even if it's an easy promise to break, I would try to keep it. After all, a Zabini has honour.

After I left the headmasters office I thought that the only things I needed to worry about for the next two weeks would be what the Death Eaters might do to capture my mother, and the blasted Valentine's dance. But I got more to think of when suddenly I noticed that Potter was staring at me.

What was his problem? I know I had a fight with him but that doesn't mean he can stare at me like I did something really bad... He and Draco have been in more fights so why wasn't he staring at him? It became so uncomfortable for me that I left the Great Hall without having eaten breakfast, and when I am hungry I am in a bad mood, so now everyone needs to watch out.

Later that day when I was walking through the hall Potter suddenly stood in front of me. It must mean  _ something _ that he stared at me during breakfast and was now standing in front of me. It could only mean that I was allowed to take my rage out on him.

"Stop staring, Potter," I said with a sneer. He looked at me without saying anything. He was standing so still that I wasn't even sure he understood what I said, and for a brief moment I thought that he didn't know I was standing in front of him. "Get out of my way, you freak," I snarled. I didn't expect him to do anything, and I was right; he just stood there.

Suddenly, his girlfriend jumped in front of Harry and slapped me. Something clicked in me and I pushed her so hard that she fell down and rolled once. Then I felt something; it wasn't regret for pushing her since I certainly don't feel sorry for her. But the whole scene was strange, almost like déjà vu, I remembered that I had pushed her before and decided that it was because of that.

"You can't defend yourself, Potter? Need your little girlfriend to do it for you? Aren't you going to defend her honour?" It looked like he wanted to say something but instead he turned around and helped Weasley up, who glared at me like she wanted to slap me again; luckily Potter told her to walk away. After a few seconds I was standing completely alone in the hall. It was for the best because I don't think I could hold my anger in much more.

The rest of the week went the same, except that I didn't assault anyone. I even managed to hold my temper back when Potter continued to stare at me.

What was I trying to forget by taking the potion? It couldn't be a fight, no fights are so hideous that I would take the potion to forget it. What else could have happened? That was the first and last time I wished I kept a journal, then I wouldn't have to think about what happened in the past.

I mentally slapped myself; I took the potion for a reason, and now I had to let it go, and forget all about Potter and his girlfriend.

Valentines Day arrived; as always, I was sickened by seeing all the hearts, cherubs, flowers and chocolates. Days like this make me glad I'm alone.

And I was especially glad that I didn't have a girlfriend; they seem to spend the whole day on something that really doesn't matter. Ever since the classes finished I'd been sitting on my bed being entertained by Pansy who had to show me all of her dresses. I'm glad she's my friend but at times like this it makes me wish others liked her enough to want to spend time with her.

I also thought that, after she showed me the twenty dresses and I'd chosen the most seductive one, she would leave me alone, but then she sat down and demanded that I should show her what I would wear. I didn't argue with her; I know that she would either win or complain about me not being a good friend for weeks.

I got up, found my dress robes and put the _ no peeking _ spell over myself that Pansy had used, and changed. When I was done I removed the spell and waited for her to judge me. I know how to dress elegantly so she wouldn't have any comment on that, but she always manages to say something about me. This time it was that I needed to look sexier. I joked that I didn't need to look more sexy to attract anyone, only my presence was enough. We both laughed, even if we knew it was the truth. Now I only had to wait for the party.

Luckily for me the dance was as normal as it could be, and boring. I was standing with Pansy until Draco entered, always late enough so people would be starting to wonder if he would even show up. This time I wouldn't let Pansy leave me before she had gotten me a drink, which surprisingly she did.

While sipping on my drink I stood there and watched the crowd with dancing students and teachers. Once again it felt like déjà vu, but this time I didn't know why.

Except for one Hufflepuff girl there weren't many that captured my attention that evening, which was a bad thing because I really needed someone to fuck. My cock had been painfully hard for a long time now.

When I emptied my cup I decided I could fill it up again before I would leave the sad dance. As I was standing there and pouring myself a drink I noticed that Potter was walking towards me, starring again.

"What's your problem, Potter?" I asked when he'd reached me. I looked around to see if his girlfriend was near; I didn't fear her but I didn't want to start a fight during this dance.

He opened his mouth to say something before closing it, then opened it again to say, "Why are you acting like this?"

I didn't understand his question. And I don't know him but I know that his behaviour isn't normal.

"I'm not acting, you're the one who's acting. Like a stalker, I might add," I said, feeling quite frustrated. I was turning around to leave when I felt a warm hand stop me. I looked down at my wrist to find it was covered with Potter's hand; my cock twitched, which was strange since I hadn't had any sexual fantasy about Potter. When I looked up at him I saw rage - he looked ready to hit me, but luckily he didn't do anything.

"I hope your balls fall off, you lying cheating bastard," he hissed. What I did with who was none of his business, but I must have done something to him for him to threaten me like that. Did I accidentally fuck a friend of his that he felt he needed to save?

"Let go of me, Potter," I said in a bored tone. He tightened his grip once before letting go of me, and I stared at him strangely as he walked away. When he was back with his girlfriend I left the dance. I didn't understand why things were turning into this strange circus, the only thing I knew was that I didn't like it, and it was all thanks to the potion.

Luckily I only had another week before I would be able to travel home. I couldn't wait to see my mother again and forget about Potter.


	13. Chapter 13

Potter's strange behaviour seemed to stop, which was good since I really didn't want to see him. But even if he didn't do anything to get my attention I couldn't stop thinking about him.

I guess he is good looking, handsome in fact, and that made me wonder why I'd never thought about him this way. Maybe I did think about him before, and maybe that was why I took the potion, but that isn't a good enough reason to go through with the potion. The more I thought about it the more it seemed the reason behind the potion was that I had some history with Potter. And I also started to think that maybe Potter was acting strange to catch my attention, maybe his little girlfriend isn't doing enough for him after dark?

I finished writing a response to my mother, telling her that I will be joining her for her wedding. I had the possibility to bring a date, but I would rather not since I would have to go up again to the headmasters office and ask him if Pansy could join me, I would rather ignore him now that I had received the permission. If the wedding was held in the summer, or any other vacation like they usually are, then I would invite Pansy seeing as she loves weddings. The only thing I hate with bringing Pansy along is that she threatens to make me maid of honour when she is getting married.

I watched the clouds as the heavy rain drops escaped them. Why wasn't I happier? My life seemed to be back to normal, except for Potter and his annoying behaviour. So why didn't I feel better? Why did I have the constant feeling that something wasn't right?

I released my owl and watched it as it disappeared into the distance; it was so easy for him to escape this prison, if only I had wings.

I was standing like that for a long time, and hadn't realized I wasn't alone until I heard someone say - well shout - my name. I recognized who the voice belonged to at once, even if I didn't really spend much time thinking about her.

"Zabini! What did you do with Harry you bastard?" the Weasley bride shouted angrily. If I had any idea of what she was talking about I would gladly have told her.

"What are you talking about, Weasley?" I said in a bored but still angry tone, I wasn't in any mood to fight.

"Since the fight you two had he's been acting strange."

"And why do you think I have anything to do with it?" I said in the same tone as before, I am not interested in being a part of their relationship problems.

"He hasn't said anything but I'm sure he can't stop thinking about you," she whispered. I could hear that she was about to cry, which angered me. But why couldn't Potter stop thinking about me? I hadn't done anything to him, or have I? I should have thought about the consequences before I took the potion, I was now paying for my stupidity.

"Get out of my way, Weasley," I said making to leave the Owlery. She didn't move. "I said, get out of my way!"

"I won't let you take him from me," she said, her voice shaky. "I have spent too much time trying to capture his attention to let you take him away from me." Why would I want to take him? If I wanted him I would only use him then move on.

"Don't threaten me, Weasley," I warned. "You won't win."

"I'll do as I want, Zabini." She tried to sound strong but I could recognize the fear in her voice. "Don't talk to him, ever again." What a pathetic little girl, thinking she can scare me.

"If I ever want to talk to him, touch him or do anything else to him, I'll do so," I said quietly and dangerously. I took one step closer to her; if she wants to threaten me I would do the same with her. "And if you ever threaten me again I'll make sure he, or anyone else won't want to be with you ever again." I took another step forward, by now I could see the fear she was trying to hide. "It's not my fault if he isn't interested in you." I pushed her out of the way so I could get away from her.

What was wrong with everyone? Potter stares at me, Weasley threatens me, and the Dark Lord wants my family kissing his feet.

The rest of the week passed and nothing noticeably important happened. However, I noticed that my threats must have worked because Potter stopped staring at me, as did Weasley.

I received my pass as Dumbledore agreed, he even wrote me a little note reminding me about what I promised, like I could forget. And then I left the school.

Later that day I met Mother, and she brought me to the location of the wedding, somewhere in Ireland. I then met the man that she would marry, at once I saw that he was a Slytherin. Then, without wasting any time, the wedding began. It was short, but I don't think either of them cared at the moment. As I watched them I could see that my mother cared for the man; but it always began like that, before he would do something bad that annoyed her and she would find a way out of the marriage, without losing the money.

The rest of that Saturday I spent with my mother; most times it's difficult for us to find time to sit down to talk, but this time we both decided we had to make the time. The day was turning into something really good.

But Sunday was completely different. I never really understood how things can go from being almost perfect to horribly wrong so fast. Does the world like to play games with people?

The day began almost like the day before; I was throwing stones in the ocean, the place we were staying was only a mile away. I didn't think I could be in any kind of danger since nobody knew where we were so I wasn't keeping my guard up. But that was until I saw her.

She was tall, dark and dangerously beautiful, just staring at her makes my blood run cold; her eyes pierced right through me as she smiled. I would recognize Bellatrix anywhere and anytime.

None of us did anything at first, we just stared at each other. My mind was searching for any spell that I could use to both save me and get me away from this situation since I was sure she would try and capture me. What else would she do now that she found me? And how did she find me?

But before I could find a useful spell she had found her own wand and shot a yellow light ball towards me. I jumped out of the way and the spell hit the sea behind me. As I rolled I found my own wand and shot a spell towards her just as another one from her was sent flying in a great speed towards me. But this time I wasn't as lucky as before and the yellow ball of light hit me square in the chest and sent me flying into the sea. I scrambled up as the waves crashed into me, and as I was rising up from the salty water I shot another curse against her, it hit her and she fell down. However, my triumph was short lived when she rose up like nothing happened. She then smiled right before she hit me again with the same spell she had used before, sending me even further into the sea.

This time I had more difficulties getting up; it felt like someone was holding me down under the water. My mind realized that it could be the end of my short life, and even if it was a horrible thought I knew it could have been worse. So when I felt her thin fingers curl around my throat and pulling me up from the water drowning seemed to be a good alternative. I found out at that moment that my body didn't obey me as I wanted to run away, and she took advantage of that.

I tried my best to release myself from her grip but I wasn't strong enough after being hit twice with her spell. And after a few seconds of her choking me I began to feel dazed and dizzy and I was sure that I would die; and strangely the only thing that went through my head right then was the safety of my mother.

But before I fainted from the lack of oxygen she released me and I fell down into the water again. By now the effect of the curse had vanished and I could raise myself over the brutal force of the sea, coughing as I was trying to breathe through my bruised windpipes. Every breath I took rattled and stung my throat but I didn't care right then. Before I could do anything Bellatrix grabbed my arm and dragged me along with her out from the water.

"Look at you, my little pup," she cooed sickeningly. Then she pushed her face almost right into mine; I could smell her putrid breath. "It's been so difficult to find you."

"What do you want?" I rasped.

If the spell hadn't worn me out like this I would be fighting her, but I knew better than trying to do something that idiotic right now.

" _ I _ don't want anything, it's my Lord who wants you."

"Why?" She had this awful smile that scared me, what did he want with me?

" _ Legilimens! _ " she shrieked suddenly.

I hadn't expected her to do something like that so I didn't have a chance to try and protect myself, even though I didn't know how to shield myself from that spell anyway. I could feel her raping my mind for something, it was something specific but in the end she gave up as she couldn't find it. She released me from the spell and let me fall down to the stony beach, my hands flew up to my head as it wouldn't stop hurting.

"What a disappointment," she simpered. She didn't look as happy now as before. "What did you do, Zabini? Where is he?"

I had no idea what she meant! Where was who? Apparently she knew more than I did, it seemed like everyone knew more than me.

"If you won't talk then I'll make you," she hissed. I saw her conjuring a knife; and to make it worse she laughed when she saw the fear in my eyes.

Slowly she began to caress the side of the blade against my cheek. "Tell me where he is and I'll let you go, unharmed."

"Who?"

"Potter, you imbecile!" She was angry, and right then I could see how crazy she really was. Her beauty was gone and the only thing that was left was the years in Azkaban.

"I don't know him," I said reasonably calmly considering my current state of panic.

"Liar!" she cried.

The knife rotated and cut into my skin, warm blood escaped the wound and I groaned; I wouldn't give her the pleasure of hearing me scream.

"You have one more chance, if you want to keep your life you better give him to us. The Dark Lord will have his hands on him in the end anyway. At least if you give him to me now you might walk away with your life, now doesn't that seem fair?"

The blade of the knife cut me again right besides my eye, it was excruciatingly painful but I still wouldn't scream.

"I'm telling the truth!" I implored. "I don't know him!" I suppose you could say it was a lie, seeing as everyone knows something about him, but I had a feeling that she was thinking about something else.

"I was told I can't hurt you too much in case you change your mind, the Dark Lord was in a good mood," she said sweetly, "but that doesn't mean I can't play with you a little."

I wanted to scream and run but she was stronger than she seemed to be and held me down. Then she used the knife and cut my face, I still didn't allow myself to give her the pleasure of hearing me scream. In the end she must have gotten tired as she stopped, so far she must have cut me around forty times, both big and small, all over my face. The thought of seeing myself scared me, I didn't want to see what she has done to me.

"Don't try to protect him; the Dark Lord will get him in the end," she hissed in my ear the second time. "And when that happens everyone on Potter's side will go down too."

She stood up and left me. And even if she was gone I didn't try to move since I was physically and mentally drained. I also still feared she would come back and kill me, or follow me back to my mother and kill her. But in the end I left the beach, after I found my wand that was lying in between some stones not so far from me.

When I got home I looked at my reflection in the mirror. What I saw was horrific. I was covered in my own blood mixed with sand from the beach. It looked like I had fallen on the rocks, face first. After I washed my face I took a bath; I find there is nothing better than to lie in the warm water and relax after heavy ordeals.

Then after my long bath I looked at myself again, the cuts were deeper than I thought; and some were still open; no matter, a few spells would close them up again. This is a moment I'm allowed to cry, she have destroyed my face and turned me into a monster, but no tears escaped me. Why I was so calm was unknown for me, I wanted to shout and destroy something, but I didn't move as I was hypnotized by my awful reflection. If I ever see that bitch again I'll make sure she'll pay for what she did to me.

I decided then to find Mother; she always knew what to do with cuts and bruises.


	14. Chapter 14

Mother had managed to patch me up as much as she could, but you could still see the cuts on my face; luckily they weren't as deep as before so there was no danger of them being infected.

That evening I had to go back to school. Loathe as I was to go back to that prison, I knew I had to. Besides, it wouldn't be long until I would finish and become an adult.

I arrived at school at night, so I shouldn't be surprised that not many saw any difference with my appearance. However, that all changed the next day; I was bombarded with questions. Pansy was the one who annoyed me the most, she wasn't only asking me what happened but also how I would live knowing that my appearance was destroyed.

And my friends weren't the only ones that saw the change, everyone in the school saw it, and for the whole day I seemed to be the subject of conversation. So, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that the headmaster called for me. And as much as I wanted to tell him that I had other things to do I had to see him. After all, he did allow me to leave.

Slowly I made my way to his office, wondering if I should tell him the truth or lie. Of course, a lie would get me out of his office quicker, but the old wizard deserved more than a lie.

"Do you wish to explain to me what happened, Blaise?" he said, his voice calm and emotionless.

"I swear that I didn't go home to seek danger, sir," I implored. "It found me, honest. I don't know how but it did. It was yesterday, I was by the sea and when I turned around I saw Bellatrix." I had never seen sort of weakness on the headmaster's face before, but at my mention of the Death Eater's name his eyes held pure fear. "I wanted to escape her but before I could even move she was attacking me. In the end she caught me, and used a knife and cut my face." I didn't tell him about her mentioning Harry because I didn't even know why she asked, and the potion I took was illegal so Snape could get into big trouble if anyone found out he gave it to me.

"It seems that war has no morals," he said finally, after taking his time to think about what I told him. "Do you know how lucky you are, to have met her and escaped?" I nodded, even though I was only lucky because her lord seemed to be in a good mood, as she put it. "Is your mother safe?" I nodded again. "Then I suggest you go down to the hospital wing and let Madame Pomfrey fix you up; I believe she has a few potions and lotions that could fix those cuts." I nodded one last time and gave him a polite smile, just to let him know that I appreciated his help.

When I entered the hospital wing, Pomfrey was shocked; I know that my face didn't look good, but I didn't believe it was as horrible as she made it out to be. After I drank the potion I had to lie down while it took care of the cuts, and it was a good thing I did because I began to feel dizzy and sick.

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew I was opening my eyes and it was night. And I could also make out a figure by my side,as my eyes grew accustomed to the dark I could see that it was Potter who was standing next to me. At first I thought I was dreaming, but then he began to talk to me.

"What happened to you?" he whispered.

"Potter, what in Merlin's dirty underwear are you doing here?" I snapped.

"I was worried," he said bashfully. "I saw you earlier; it looks like you've been in a fight with a werewolf."

"I'm fine, now leave," I growled at him. I was far from a good mood after everything that had happened.

"You're not fine," he stated. What did I have to do to get away from him?

"What happened to me is my business; you better run off to your little friends and continue your hero act with someone else, I don't need it."

Why on earth wouldn't he leave me alone? We weren't friends; we didn't even have friends who are friends.

"I demand to know who did this to you!" he hissed. I've seen him talk like that to Draco so I knew exactly how to behave around him and his rage.

"It was a filthy Death Eater, happy? Now leave me alone," I said monotonously. His sudden rage seemed to settle down and he looked at me in shock.

"Who?" he whispered.

I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself down, his obsessive and stalker-like behavior was beginning to get on my nerves.

"I told you it was a Death Eater, now leave me alone before I report you to the headmaster for stalking." He wanted to say something but decided to keep his mouth closed. That was a good thing because I didn't know how long I could stay relaxed. However, as I waited for him to take his leave, Potter made no indication of getting up. So, I decided to fulfil my threat, even if I didn't feel well.

"Where are you going?" he called as I made my way to the door. "Stop Blaise!" I ignored him and continued to walk until I had escaped the hospital wing and had rounded a corner. It was late, and I could still feel the potion I took earlier in my system; it would be the best if I didn't move out of bed but I couldn't stand Potter's presence. I had to rest.

So I pressed my back against the cold stones and tried to breathe, the short walk was more than I could take. I didn't understand earlier why I had to rest in the hospital bed but after my short walk I understood; the after effects of the potion were horrible.

Another minute passed and I tried to understand what happened in the infirmary. Potter, that stalker, acted like we were friends! Maybe that is what Bellatrix was talking about, maybe we were friends and someone saw us and, deciding to do as Dumbledore had warned me against, put a price on us. Who could hate me so much that they would go to the Dark Lord and sell both of us?

"I have let you get your will for far too long." I jumped when I heard that voice beside me; if I knew I wasn't alone I would have walked all the way down to the Slytherin common room or to Dumbledore's office before I even considered stopping. I realized quickly that it was only Potter, and didn't waste time cursing the boy in my mind.

"Stalker," I muttered; I tried my best to sound angry but you could easily hear how tired I was. I tried to push myself from the wall to continue on my journey down to the dungeons, but just as I took my third step everything went dark.

When I woke up again I realized my head was hurting more than usual, and my left shoulder was aching. I knew then that I had fainted, all thanks to Potter, the freakish stalker. Slowly I opened my eyes, and was surprised to see that I was back in the infirmary.

Quickly I closed my eyes again, afraid that if I looked around in the room I would see  _ him _ .

"You awake?" he whispered. If I had enough strength I would take the pillow and hit him with it, his presence was annoying me.

"No," I mumbled.

My eyes were still closed but I heard a giggle; I didn't find it amusing at all. First I spend minutes trying to get him to leave me, and when I finally manage to get away he follows me and I faint.  _ I fainted because I was tired of him and his actions _ , I thought angrily. Maybe one day I could use that against him.

"What do you want, Potter?" I said wearily.

"Why don't you call me Harry anymore?" he asked quietly.

Did I ever call him Harry? I can't remember. But instead of questioning him about that I decided to stay quiet, maybe he would get tired of my silence and leave.

"I can't stop thinking about you, and I… I decided that… maybe we can work around the problems?"

I opened my eyes and sat up, still feeling dizzy but didn't fear fainting again.

"My only problem is you!" I hissed. "You're obsessed with me! I don't know what we might have had before but I can tell you, it's over."

Right then I realized that whatever we had must have been more than a friendship, because before I could continue to express my rage he kissed me. I tried to push him away but didn't have enough strength. He then crawled onto the bed and pressed me down into the mattress. My mind told me to continue to fight him but my cock told me to let him have his way and use me.

Before I could think any further his hands were down in my pants; and when he gripped my cock I moaned, and remembered something similar happening not so long ago.

"Nng..." I groaned. Harry's mouth moved from my lips to my cock and was now licking it, making me moan and make noises that I haven't made in a long time. Then he took all of my cock in his mouth, sucking slowly until I couldn't take it anymore, teasing me only to make me go mad with lust. And he continued like that until I came in his mouth. I couldn't remember the last time I had such a brilliant orgasm.

Then, suddenly and completely out of the blue, I remembered; it was months ago but I remembered. Harry had taken me to the bedroom on the seventh floor where we fucked until we were both tired, and then he left in rage.

Thinking about it now I couldn't understand how I could forget it, or remember it. I took the potion because I thought Harry was lost forever, I wanted to forget him, then why did the potion fail to make me forget him? Why did I remember him now?

"Don't treat me like that ever again, Blaise," came Harry's voice interrupting my thoughts.

He left before I could say or do anything as I was still floating in an orgasmic state. Harry had just sucked me, and not so long ago we had had sex. I tried to disentangle my thoughts that decided to bombard me at the same time. But the potion Pomfrey gave me was draining my body until I wanted to sleep, not that I wanted to stay awake much longer after my orgasm.

  
  
  



	15. Chapter 15

Because I couldn't get Harry off my mind I had problems sleeping; I found that I was unable to sleep more than three hours. I think the thing that prevented me from sleeping the most were the memories I had of reaching my orgasm, as well as remembering that I had previously fucked Harry. Everything seemed a lot more clear to me now, except why the night we had sex ended up in a fight.

There's still a lot that is hidden from me, and even if the reason for our fight is still a mystery, I've discovered the truth about a lot of other things that's been happening to me lately. Even if I somehow remember everything, I don't feel like it was a waste to take the potion; at least now I know how Harry feels about me, even if I don't like it.

"You're free to go Mr. Zabini," said Pomfrey, distracting me from my thoughts. She'd just finished checking me for the after effect of the healing potion. With Harry on my mind I thanked her and left.

I was planning on going down to the Slytherin common room when I was met by a large group of students outside the library. I would have walked straight past them if I hadn't seen a couple of red-headed Weasley's. Something told me that Harry would be somewhere amongst them, and I was right. Behind the Granger girl stood a dark haired boy, the same dark haired boy who had shown me that his mouth does more than talk back.

"I need to talk to you, Potter," I said, making Harry jump. Everyone there looked at me in shock; obviously they hadn't expected me to request that. I noticed that the Weasley girl tried to take hold of Harry's arm and talk him out of it, all the while she was staring at me like she wanted to kill me. Because she was holding him I thought I didn't have a chance, so you can imagine how shocked I was when he snatched his arm out of Weasley's grip and walked straight towards me.

I didn't want his friends to listen to our conversation so I walked away from them with Harry following me.

"What do you want, Zabini?" he asked in an exasperated tone when I finally stopped walking. His attempt to sound bored and annoyed failed as I recognized the slightly wobble in his voice which indicated there was a trace of excitement inside him.

"What was last night for?" I tried to stay calm, but that wasn't easy when all I could think of was the image of Harry's mouth on my cock.

"You don't care about me so why should I need to tell you?" he asked heatedly. Almost like he had lifted a confunded charm from me I remembered a part of why we fought the day we first had sex; Harry was mad at me because I didn't care. "What happened to your face?" Why wouldn't he stop asking? Could he never take a hint?

"That's private," I said shortly.

"So you can have secrets but I can't?" The volume of his voice was higher than when we began, and I knew that the best would be to calm him down before I say anything else. Maybe if he knew a little of what happened he would lay it to rest.

"It was a Death Eater, all right?" Harry's face looked like it had been drained from all blood and I half-expected him to faint. If that happened I would be in trouble again.

"Who?" he whispered.

"Nobody important." Would he never give up? I know something bad happened to me but considering what could have happened I was lucky to even be alive. "Why are we fighting?" I asked suddenly, and I could see that my question confused him. "Why did you leave the secret bedroom that night we fucked?"

Potter still looked confused but he seemed to have understood what I meant.

"You used me," he answered, his voice wobbly. That made sense since I have no intentions of ever being in a relationship. "Why are you even asking me this?"

"Because I can't remember any of it," I said before I could stop myself.

"Did the Death Eater do it to you?" His protective character is admirable, and I would have no trouble in answering him if we were friends;. However, since we no longer were friends - or lovers, come to that - he didn't need or have the right to know anything. But something pushed me to tell him the truth anyway.

"No, I took a potion."

"What?" he exclaimed. "Why?"

"I don't want to talk about it. I've told you what happened; you should be pleased over the information you've got." I looked behind Harry and saw his friends standing in the same position as when Harry left them, the Weasley girl looked most furious and ready to attack me.

"I have a right to know, especially after what you did to me." I wanted to say something about us not being in a relationship so he had no such right, but I had a feeling that the conversation wouldn't go too well if I did tell him that.

My goal was to stay calm and keep him calm too, but the next thing that escaped me was even worse than what I wanted to say first. "I probably wouldn't have done it if you weren't whoring yourself with a Weasley." I could see I struck a nerve. "Do you think I would want someone that slutty?" I found myself continuing without being able to stop.

"You always think I do things because of you!" he shouted, and we both seemed to forget our surroundings and barked our arguments at each other.

"Aren't you? Stop me if I'm wrong, but I didn't get the impression that you were over me last night when you were stalking me," I snarled. He looked shocked and hurt. "If you really want to be with me then get rid of the Weasel, break off your damn engagement," I said without thinking. If my mind was in its right place then surely I wouldn't have said something like that.

"Why would I ever want to be with someone as selfish as you?" he growled at me. "Anyway, I'm not the one who has to change; you need to stop fucking everything that moves!"

I slapped him. How dare he treat me like  _ I _ was the slut? I was surprised when he slapped me back and left, and as much as I wanted to stop him I decided to let him leave. If we were alone I would show him what I do with annoying brats like him.

I could see that his friends looked shocked; it was only the Weasley girl who had a different reaction - pure, unadulterated rage. Before I would over analyse things I left them; I didn't want to stand there and worry about what stupid things she would do to me.

Two days can pass extraordinarily fast when you have a lot of homework. the N.E.W.T. exams were closing in and the teachers wanted to be sure we would pass. Of course they didn't have to worry about me, I might not be the best but that is entirely my choice; I don't want to be like Granger with my nose buried in a book all the time.

The third day began as usual, but during lunch I saw something that both shocked me and disgusted me at the same time. I was in the hallway when I looked down on the floor beneath me and saw Harry basically sucking Weasley's face. If I was alone I would find my wand and make sure that they would never come close enough to touch each other ever again, but I didn't want to get into more trouble. Watching him made me wonder why I cared about his opinion and his decision of being with Weasley.

That didn't stop me from feeling possessive over Harry, though. To control my rage I held my wand so firmly that I feared it would crumble in my palm. What on earth did he think he was doing? Kissing her like that in the middle of the hall where everyone could see them, just like the time after the Christmas holiday! It seemed as though every time I saw Harry I remembered something that the potion erased... the only bad thing about that was that there are more bad memories than good.

"Don't they know what dignity is?" drawled Draco when he saw what I was looking at. I wondered how long he was standing there and if he knew what I was thinking. "Hey, Potter, why don't you get a room? I'm sure that if you two begin now you would break the baby record her mother made!" I didn't say anything as Draco was trying to insult them. It wasn't one of his best insults towards Harry, the only thing it seemed to do was to put me in a worse mood.

Harry and Weasley looked up at Draco but turned their attention towards me like it was I who had said something. I should have left as soon I realized Draco would attempt to annoy Harry.

Seeing me staring at them, Weasley put her hand on Harry's cheek. He then turned around her and kissed her neck. While he was doing that she stared directly at me while giving Harry access to touch her everywhere. I didn't like what he was doing, but thought it was cute since he was trying to gain my attention. Weasley was still staring at me, and that kept me from walking away. Then she smiled at me, an evil smile, like she knew something I didn't, like she has won.

"He's so pathetic, don't you think?" Draco asked me, but that didn't mean he expected me to answer; he preferred his own voice more than mine. "I'm sure that weasel only wants him for his money, Merlin knows they don't have enough money for more than one child." He continued to talk about them until it was time for class. Draco hadn't seen anything strange with Harry's behaviour, which was strange because usually he knows everything.

I couldn't avoid seeing Harry and Weasley kissing and cuddling more than once that week, and frankly it was bugging the hell out of me, but I couldn't let it show. I wanted to find a way to see Harry alone but he always seemed to slip out of my hands once we were in the same room.

My memory slowly returned, each day that passed reminded me about small things that happened between Harry and I. Most were little things that really didn't matter, but that made me understand better why things ended the way they did.

There wasn't much I could do to stop Harry's behaviour in the days that followed; Harry was ignoring me, even if I could clearly see he wanted to come over and do something, like slap me.

At last the trip to Hogsmeade had arrived. Maybe that would get my mind off of everything. Of course Harry would be going with  _ her _ , and even if it annoyed me I couldn't allow myself to care.

That was when I decided to ignore Harry, block him out of my mind, concentrate only on myself. And I was doing a good job until one day I met Harry as he was walking out of Snape's office. As much as I tried to ignore him and the memories, I couldn't get rid of them. He had just exited the room and was locking the door behind him, looking down at the floor while doing so. I wondered if he was purposely ignoring me. If he looked at me, or even showed me that he knew I was around him I would have ignored him, but not now that he was avoiding me.

When he reached me I brutally grabbed his wrist, that shook him out of his strange trance. When he looked up at me it was almost like he hadn't expected anyone to be around him.

"Blaise." His voice was almost a whisper, and his eyes looked like they were empty. He wasn't himself; something was wrong, I could feel it.

"What happened to you?" I said without thinking how I sounded. This is why I hate relationships, you always need to care for the other one.  _ But we aren't in a relationship, _ I reminded myself.

"I mixed the wrong ingredients," he said flatly. At first I didn't understand him, but then I remembered that he came from detention with Snape.

"I'm talking about you," I said wearily. "You don't seem to be the same person any-more." He looked the same and his voice was the same, but something inside him had changed. I was shocked to see how different he really was, and shocked that nobody else had noticed it.

"I'm the same," he protested feebly, and I would have believed him if he said it with more earnest.

"You're not, and that's probably why you're sucking Weasley's face in the middle of the hallway every damn day." How dare he lie straight to my face? I'm not one of his followers who believes everything is fine when he says so.

"I am, now let go of me."

"No! I won't, you can't twist yourself away now, Harry." I held him harder, he wouldn't get away like he had before. He tried to push me away and hit me, but nothing he did would make me release him.

After what seemed like minutes, things changed. He stopped fighting and began to cry; the sudden change startled me. I watched him, trying to figure out what really happened and wishing that he would get up and spit in my face or do something horrible, just so I didn't need to act like I cared about him.

"I don't know," he said softly, as though he was answering a question in his head.

"What?" I didn't understand him, he was acting strange and everything that he said seemed to have no connection.

"I don't know what's going on," he sobbed. He wasn't crying his eyes out, but the few tears that were escaping his eyes was enough for me to want to run away.

"What do you mean?" I didn't want to care about him but I couldn't help it.

"Well," he began, "I wake up in great form, and then everything begins to get hazy, like I'm in a dreamlike kind of state." The information he gave me woke me up; something really was off, any intelligent wizard could figure that out.

"What do you do before you feel like that?" I asked gently. Harry had stopped crying and was wiping the last trace of his tears away; I was so glad that I didn't have to see that any-more.

"I wake up, eat, go to class... and that's when I begin to feel strange." If that was all he did then it wouldn't be too difficult finding the reason, or who caused it. Even without proof I knew it was Weasley; she's the only one who would do something like that and get away with it like she is doing. Sadly there are a number of spells and potions she could be using, but finding out which one she was using wasn't my only task. I had to prove it for the rest of the Wizarding World that Harry's girlfriend put him under a spell.

"You should try to stay away from Weasley," I said, knowing my reason for why he should stay away from her; but Harry didn't know and the next thing he did was to push me so I stumbled backwards.

"Stop telling me what to do!" I didn't care about his sudden change, seeing as he was clearly still under the influence of whatever Weasley used on him.

"I only meant..." I tried to tell him the reason but couldn't finish my sentence as Harry stopped me.

"You always think that you own me, you bastard!" And before I could stop him he had run up the stairs, leaving me alone in the hall outside Snape's office.

The way he reacted in the end almost made me change my mind about helping him, but not helping him wouldn't help either of us.

I know that I should relax when I see Harry and Weasley together.  _ He's not himself, _ I repeated mentally. After he told me that something was wrong with him I could see it every time I looked at him. But that didn't mean I would blame the massage, kisses or everything else they did on Harry acting strangely.

I knew they would both be going to Hogsmeade, and that gave me an idea. Not only would I seek out one of my old friends, but I would use him to test Harry and Weasley and see how much they will take from me.

Later that evening when I was sat in the common room I sent an owl to a former Slytherin who I knew lived in Hogsmeade. He was actually my teacher and mentor when I realised I liked to have many partners. He taught me how to become a better lover, and how to manage and hide my affairs. I waited for a response, which came one hour after I sent my letter.

_ Blaise, of course I remember you, how could I forget? I would love to meet you Saturday. I'll will be waiting for you. _

_ Ruben _

I shouldn't be surprised that he remembered me, or wanted to meet me; after all, he never had me. He was the one that taught me most of the things I know now, but our relationship never crossed that line, surprisingly enough. I don't really know the reason why we never got together; of course we were both quite active in finding new partners, but that shouldn't have stopped us from testing each other out. And I couldn't say it was because I thought about him more as a brother, because I did want to fuck him. Maybe my feelings towards him have changed now, seeing as it has been two years since he finished school.

At least I would use him to challenge Weasley, or Harry for that matter; I didn't know which one yet but I didn't care.


	16. Chapter 16

I was walking down the street that led to the Three Broomsticks; it was spring and quite cold.

"Blaise!" My old friend said with welcoming arms. I smiled at Ruben; it had been two years since I last saw him but he hadn't changed at all. "How are you?"

He still had his long dark hair in a ponytail, making his masculine but thin face look more filled out. And he still had that awful facial hair running from ear to ear, trimmed of course but it still annoyed me. I hated him because it suited him so well, I knew that look would never look good on me. We hugged briefly before parting.

"I'm great, how about you?"

"Great, work sucks but I guess I'm to blame for choosing that kind of profession," he said with a small smile.

The last thing I remember about him was that he decided to become a professional magical animal trainer, horrible choice indeed. We both walked into the Three Broomsticks and sat down, like I had planned. Then I told Ruben to wait while I got the drinks.

"Two Fire Whiskey's please," I said to the bartender.

"Sure thing, handsome," she said, leering. I sneered at the mere idea of touching something as slutty as this blond witch with her tits half way out.

As I waited for her to get the drinks I noticed someone a little to the right of me. I inwardly growled; Weasley.

Luckily, I don't think she saw me because she seemed too deep in thought. However, as I continued to stare at her I knew she had done something to the drinks. To say I found it suspicious would be an understatement. However, I couldn't prove it, and by the looks of it, no one had noticed anything either. I decided to leave it for the moment.

After that, I ignored everything around me, except Ruben of course. I tried my best to act interested as he began to tell me about all the different animals that he had worked with. I can't' remember everything that happened in my past but I am sure that he wasn't that boring when we both were at school, maybe he seemed interesting because we mostly talked about sex that time.

After I finished half my glass I decided it was time to look around and take in my surroundings. I had been avoiding Harry for too long so I was pleasantly surprised when I found him sitting on my left with the Weasley slut in one of the booths, staring at me. When our eyes met I knew I had succeeded with my plan to make Harry jealous. I looked over at his girlfriend who apparently didn't even notice what was going on. Or maybe she was pretending not to notice, I couldn't really tell.

Ruben continued with his conversation even if I didn't answer him; I always knew he liked to talk about himself, but I thought he was classier. However, that doesn't really matter – it's not like I want anything special from him.

When I turned back to look at Harry I saw Weasley give him a cup to drink. If she did slip something in that cup poor Harry would be in deep trouble. She's a cunning Gryffindor, almost as sly as a Slytherin.

Then, suddenly, Harry and Weasley kissed; it was a soft kiss that didn't have much passion but that didn't matter for me; Harry shouldn't do that! I held Ruben's hand and brought it to my lips, kissing each finger before licking them. Even if Harry hadn't seen it I was pleased that Ruben stopped talking.

"I see I have taught you well," he said, looking confused but happy nonetheless. I smiled at him, hoping that nobody else saw me right then. When I looked over at Harry I could see that Weasley was sitting on his lap and eating Harry's neck. I grimaced; what a disgusting girl. I responded with kissing Ruben passionately, it wasn't easy since he was sitting opposite me but I'm sure I managed to make it look good.

I walked around the table and sat down besides Ruben, it was more difficult to see Harry from there but that didn't matter. I looked back at Harry and smirked, then I grabbed Ruben's cock.

I knew I'd won when Harry saw my hand on Ruben's cock. He obviously couldn't take it any more and ran to the bathroom. Weasley looked at Harry and was shocked, but that quickly turned into rage when she saw me. I could see how furious she was, but that didn't bother me; she wouldn't do anything stupid in public, too many witnesses.

"I need to go to the toilet, don't go anywhere," I murmured to Ruben, who looked just as shocked as Weasley did but obeyed me.

Weasley watched me intently, she knew what I was about to do, and she was right. I opened the door to the toilets where Harry had run into only a minute ago and locked it behind me.

"Looks like we're finally alone, Harry," I said seductively. He turned around and faced me, his eyes were blank but he knew what would happen.

"Please don't," he croaked. I was unsure what he meant but it didn't stop me from walking over to him to kiss him more passionately than Weasley did, that whore. Harry almost fell down beneath me; it was like my kiss was too much for him. I grabbed his hips and lifted him up; I smirked when I heard him moan, then I sat him down on the ledge besides the sink and undid his pants.

He looked down towards me without saying anything. A minute ago he was saying no, but I could see that he wanted me now. When I stroked his already hard cock, he hit his head into the wall and groaned some more. It was obvious to me then that Weasley had drugged him; he'd never been this responsive or vocal before. Apparently whatever drug he was on made him super-sensitive; not that I was complaining at the moment.

I let my head fall down on his cock and I swallowed all of his glory. It was only now that I realised how much I had really missed him. My hands were stroking his muscular chest under his shirt, and I pinched his nipples when I reached them. Harry groaned loudly and dug his fingers into my shoulder.

I pressed one of my fingers against his entrance and smiled mentally when I heard him moan wantonly. My finger pressed through the ring of muscle and he screamed in ecstasy. If we were alone I would use my time wisely and continue exploring his whole body, but I didn't have that kind of time right now; the Weasley girl was waiting for my Harry and Ruben was waiting for my reappearance. While sucking his cock I tried to find his prostate with my fingers; I knew that if I found it he would come at once.

His body suddenly shook and I knew I found it, and just like I thought before he came violently in my mouth. His orgasm was great, but I didn't know if it was from my doing or the potion. That thought brought my spirit down.

After I cleaned him up I kissed him and left, would have stayed to see if he's okay but I didn't want Ruben to get suspicious.

Once I was in the bar again I went and sat down besides Ruben, it didn't look like he noticed anything strange, which made me wonder if he was as stupid at school. I looked over to Weasley and saw her fury, she knew quite well what happened in the bathroom. I know she is stupid but anyone could have known what happened in that bathroom. Especially when Harry looked happy as he walked over to Weasley, and that didn't sit well with her. First she shouted at him before dragging him out and down the street.

I couldn't help smiling to myself. Did she really think she had a chance when I was in the game?

I wanted to go too but I couldn't leave Ruben like that, so I decided to take him to the bathroom and show him how well he had taught me.

The fight between Harry and Weasley did in the Three Broomsticks was apparently first page news. It wasn't surprising, seeing as Rita Skeeter was still a reporter. Great, now I'd have to read about it in the newspapers too! Isn't it bad enough that I have to see them in person all day?

March was quickly approaching; that meant I only had four months to prove to everybody that Ginny Weasley is not who they think she is. Not that she needs to be exposed for drugging Harry for me to have any kind of relationship with him.

Of course Weasly didn't like that at all, and she didn't hide it either. Draco came to me on Wednesday and told me what he'd heard from a friend: apparently, I was trying to destroy Weasley's engagement because her family are muggle lovers. Draco, of course, thought it was great. But that rumour meant that everybody else would know it and would be watching every step I took. It was going to a lot more difficult to expose Weasley now that she is lying to everyone.

If she wasn't my competitor I would admire her continuous attempts at keeping Harry, but as my competitor I wanted to break her neck. And since she was playing dirty, I would do the same; she wouldn't beat me with some stupid Gryffindor lies.

Two days after Draco told me what people were whispering, I began to receive hate mail. I didn't really care much about them; it's not that difficult to burn the piece of parchment. Pansy on the other hand couldn't ignore it. She had to find out who sent the letters, and amazingly she found the sender of four of the letters.

Of course my relationship with Weasley was front page news again. On Friday morning I received my Daily Prophet and almost choked on my bagel. The title alone took up almost a whole page;  _ Harry Potter's stalker _ . Then two pages where Rita wrote Harry's history, how he never had any family and now he had a small chance to feel that warmth with Weasley. Then she wrote a short paragraph about Weasley and her history, nothing major. And then she had this long story about me, how Mother marries and then the man mysteriously dies. She even had the cheek to mention how I am supposedly raised in the belief of a typical pureblood and how I most likely was a follower of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, as she put it.

The things she wrote shocked me, but I was equally as much scared. I wondered how the Daily Prophet think that they could print something like this and get away with it. Maybe they didn't read through Rita's article, if they did then they would understand that I could easily sue them, and win.

Only seconds after I finished reading the article Weasley walked into the great hall, looking happier than ever. That was when I saw red, quickly I got up from my seat and almost ran over to her to strangle her.

She didn't see me before I reached her, and I could see the fear in her eyes as I grabbed her shoulders and pushed her, she crashed into the Gryffindor table and spilled a glass of pumpkin juice. Everyone in the Great Hall stopped what they were doing and watched us with concern.

"You insignificant piece of Gryffindor filth!" I roared. Then I grabbed something from the table and threw it at her; it turned out to be a basket of bread, I had hoped it was something that could cause more damage. "Do you seriously think you're important only because you date him? Do you think that I need to fight you to win? You're such a whore, Weasley! A slutty, ugly whore!"

She tried to get up to run away but I grabbed her and dragged her back so she fell on the floor. I may be in a rage but I knew not to try and strangle her, not when there were so many people around us. Surprisingly none of the students did anything; I thought that I wouldn't' be able to touch her before the whole Gryffindor house would jump over me ad stop me.

"I can ignore the lies you spread here at school, but not when the whole world can read about it!" I pulled her hair so she screamed, but before I could do anything else someone froze me and Weasley. Then we were surrounded by three teachers who grabbed each of us.

When the counter-spell released us we were ordered straight up to Dumbledore's office. Two teachers who held us followed us up, just in case we began fighting again. The two teachers didn't leave us before we were both in Dumbledore's office.

"I am greatly disappointed in you two, fighting in the Great Hall."

"I didn't do anything," Weasley said immediately. Of course she didn't do anything, just like Draco never says anything bad about Potter, I thought bitterly.

"I didn't say you could speak, Miss Weasley," Dumbledore said sternly. It looked like her face had drained of blood; obviously she never thought the headmaster would tell her to shut up. "I have heard some disturbing things; there are rumours flying around the school about Mr Zabini, Mr Potter and you, Miss Weasley. Nobody really knows where the rumours started... I don't suppose you know, Miss Weasley?" I crossed my fingers and hoped she would say something stupid.

In the most innocent voice she could muster, she answered him with a sweet and sickly, "No."

I was close to rolling my eyes but decided against it; it wouldn't look good doing something like that after what just happened in the Great Hall.

"Mr Zabini?" he asked, his blue eyes piercing.

"She spread them," I said calmly.

"I did not!" Ginny shrieked, outraged.

"Quiet!" the old man bellowed. I had never seen him shout to anyone before; things must really be bad for him to do that. "The students might not know who began the rumour, but I do. It was Myrtle"

It felt like my world had fallen apart, it couldn't be Myrtle; it must have been Weasley.

The whore turned against me and gave me an arrogant smile; if we were alone she would have thought twice before doing that.

"I had a chat with Myrtle, and she confessed everything," Dumbledore said as quickly. I could almost feel the fear coming from Weasley; this was one of those moments I wish I had a camera. "Apparently you told her to spread the rumour, Miss Weasley. Do you wish to explain yourself?"

I avoided looking at her, in fear that I would laugh at my triumph.

"I..." She couldn't even begin the sentence properly; I knew I'd won.

"You will come back tomorrow after dinner to receive your punishment." I tried to enjoy my small victory because I knew that he wasn't finished. "And you Mr Zabini," – wasn't I right? – "Attacking Miss Weasley like that in public is no way to behave, no matter what reason you might have. Do you wish to explain your actions before I give you your punishment"

I was surprised he asked me to explain myself; he must already know what happened so why was he asking me to clarify? Maybe it was a test to see what I would say.

"I was provoked, but not because of the rumours. I know about them and have tried my best to ignore them; I even ignored the hate mail I received. But when I saw the article about me and my mother, I couldn't restrain my rage." I looked up at him; when I finished he looked back over to Weasley.

"I am greatly disappointed and hurt over your behaviour, Miss Weasley. You had no right to accuse Mr Zabini for anything, and especially not spread it through the school; and if I find out you had anything to do with the article then there will be severe consequences." I'm sure she was a part of the awful story; I hoped she was because then I could sue her and her disgusting family too. He then turned to me. "And Mr Zabini, your behaviour today is just as disappointing, the next time you feel someone is doing you wrong you should come to me. Seeing as you did begin the fight, you will also join Weasley here tomorrow to receive your punishment."

I couldn't argue with him on that – I did break a rule and therefore needed to be punished. I would have done the same thing if I was the principal, even if the student was a Slytherin. I quickly nodded to show him that I understood.

"I want you miss Weasley to stop spreading lies, and I also forbid you, Mr Zabini, to stand closer than two feet close to Mr Potter and Miss Weasley." Had I been celebrating too early? Being denied to stand close to them meant that I couldn't kiss Harry. "You are both free to leave." He turned his back to us and walked deeper into his office.


	17. Chapter 17

I walked down the hall from the headmaster's office with no worries. Finally I had managed to achieve something, even if it cost me detention. Because of what just had happened I didn't fear anything bad happening to me, so I wasn't prepared to protect myself when Weasley attacked me.

"You evil prat!" she spat at me, trying to scratch my face. Luckily I grabbed a hold of both her wrists and turned her around so she faced the wall, because of the force I used she fell down to the floor and landed on her knees.

"You dare to try and hurt me, Weasley? You're getting cocky, thinking you can take me on and win, didn't you learn anything from last time?" While still holding her wrists I sat down behind her and whispered in her ear. "It might look like you're on the top right now, but the higher you get the harder you'll fall."

"Let her go, Zabini!" said a familiar voice behind me. I looked around and saw Harry standing close by; he didn't look happy but neither was he angry.

"Why?" I snarled. "She deserves everything she'll get for what she's done to me."

"I said let her go," Harry repeated firmly. I stared at him hard; what was he doing? Didn't he know how deceiving she really is? But I decided to release her anyway; what was the point in fighting her if Harry was on her side? As quickly as I released her she ran to Harry's side and clung to him.

"Oh, Harry! He's evil!" she said while pressing her face into his chest. I rolled my eyes as I watched the show.

"What did you do?" Harry asked as he looked at me in shock, almost like I had slashed his fiancé.

"What did  _ I _ do? You should ask her about the rumour she spread about me. And she is most likely responsible for the article in the Daily Prophet today too, so don't point the finger at me, Potter." Before I finished Harry grabbed Weasley's shoulders and pushed her off him. She had tears running down her face, all an act but it could still break a mother's heart.

"Is that true?" he asked coldly.

"Harry, he's evil!" she cried. "You can't believe anything he says!"

"Is it true?" he said harsher. "Did you spread those lies?"

I could see he was getting tired of her attempt to avoid the question. Weasley opened her mouth again but didn't say anything; she reminded me of a dying fish.

"I had to, he's hurting us." I watched him closely, would he believe her this time?

"You stupid girl!" he spat.

I smiled victoriously; finally he saw her for what she really is: a lying, cheating whore.

"But Harry, he wants to destroy us!" she implored. She continued to plead with him but he didn't fall for her lies. Instead he pushed her away from him, not nearly as hard as I would have pushed her, but she got the picture nonetheless.

I smiled as I watched Harry walk over to me. When he reached me, he apologized softly before kissing me. If Weasley is anything like me she would take it as a challenge. When the kiss ended he left the hall, most likely he forgot about Weasley. After Harry left I was standing alone with Weasley, she was staring at me and I did the same.

"You'll be sorry, Zabini," she whispered venomously. I smiled at her, which I noticed made her nervous. Before she could say anything else I walked towards her in an arrogant stride.

As I passed her I hissed in her ear, "Like I said before, I always win." She didn't get a chance to say anything else as I left, ignoring the students that were now starting to fill the hall.

After what happened between the three of us I thought Harry would stay away from her, but the next day I saw him hanging around Weasley just like before. I repentantly told myself that it was the drugs,but that didn't make it less painful to watch him.

But controlling my anger wasn't an easy task; every time I saw her touch him, kiss him or do something that made him forget about his surroundings and focus only on her, I wanted to jump over the all tables and hit her. Of course it was all an act to convince everyone that they were a couple,and to annoy me.

Unfortunately, she wasn't all that stupid because she never drugged Harry when there were was any teachers or students watching, not even I managed to get a glimpse of her doing it. What I thought was strange was how Harry's friends never noticed anything strange going on. If they are supposed to be such good friends how can they miss that he is changing right in front of them? Often when I met them in the hallway I felt an urge to grab them and shake them until they realized that something was wrong with Harry.

Hopefully it was only a matter of time before Weasley would mess up and she would be exposed, but that didn't mean I liked the waiting.

When February was over and March began I felt less sure about Weasley messing up. And it took a great deal of self power not to do anything when I saw them together.

What was just as bad was that everyone around us knew that Dumbledore ordered me to stay away from the couple. If someone didn't know it then Weasley would make sure they knew, she was taking every precaution to make sure I wouldn't be able to come near them. She stopped spreading rumours about me, instead she spread lies about them, how she and Harry were in love and how it was making others jealous because she was poor, blood traitor or just because they think Harry is supposed to be a sacrifice to the Dark Lord. She never used my name so I couldn't go to the headmaster and tell him about her lies, even if he believed me he wouldn't be able to do anything without proof. What enraged me the most was that the lies about Harry being a possible sacrifice to the Dark Lord was another way of saying that she believed me to be a Death Eater. If I didn't have Harry as my goal then she would have been dead a long time ago.

But I had to stay calm, if I lose my temper again and attack Weasley then I would probably be sent to Azkaban, especially if everyone thinks I'm some sort of secret Death Eater on a quest to give Harry over to the Dark Lord as a gift.

It was a matter of time before I would win, but as the weeks passed and half of March was gone I began to doubt my chances.

Lately, Harry seemed to be even more lost; missing classes, quitting Quidditch, and only hanging out with Weasley. The Slytherin's were happy because he wasn't playing Quidditch any-more, and the rest of the school didn't think anything was off because Weasley was, after all, Harry's big  _ love _ , and nothing would keep them apart.

My mother sent me an owl telling me that she has sued both Rita Skeeter and the Daily Prophet for the article; sadly Weasley was not a part of that horrible piece of writing. Of course I didn't believe that was the truth. Mother wrote that Rita admitted she had a source, it was a boy with dark long hair, but nobody seemed to know who it was. I knew of course that it was Weasley under the influence of Polyjuice potion or some kind of spell, only she would go through such a length to make me look bad.

That Sunday there was another Quidditch match, this time I managed to avoid Pansy so while everyone was up I was sitting down in the common room doing nothing. The match must have been on for at least ten minutes before I decided to leave the dungeon to go to the library and do some research on a project about ancient potions.

I had just settled down in a corner in the library when a book hit me in my back, but when I looked around there was nobody there. I told myself that it was Peeves playing another prank, it was almost like his routine whenever someone sat down in the library to study. So I laid the book down on the table next to me and went back to the study. However, before I could finish the sentence, another book came flying towards me and hit me on the back of my head. This time I was alarmed. If it was Peeves he would come out from his hiding place with a stupid rhyme, so who was it that thought it was fun to hit me with books?

I found my wand and pointed it towards the shelves; if anything moved it would be blasted into the wall.

When I saw something move towards me I hexed it, only to realize that it was another book. "Who's there?"

"Blaise?"

It was a whisper but I knew who it was at once. Reality hit me when I realized that if he hadn't sent the book towards me he would have been the one that was flying into the wall.

I didn't waste time waiting for him come out from his hiding; instead I walked in a fast pace through the many shelves of old dusty books in search for him. And then I found him in the restricted section. He looked normal, except for his emerald eyes, which were blank compared to before when he couldn't hide his emotions. It was strange how nobody noticed his empty eyes.

"Harry..." I started, and noticed my voice wasn't as controlled as I would like it to be.

"Why aren't you helping me?" he asked suddenly.

I walked to the metal gate and opened it; he barely reacted to the change. "Helping you with what?"

"You said..." The way he talked sounded like he was dreaming; a side effect of the potion no doubt. Then I suddenly realised that I still didn't know what kind of drug Weasley was using on him; it couldn't be a well known drug since I'm familiar with most mind controlling potions.

I reached him with only five steps; he didn't notice the distance closing between us before I put my hand on his cheek and stroked him.

"Oh, Ginny," he breathed.

I stopped everything I was doing and stared at him. How could he mention her name in my presence?

I took several deep breaths and tried to reason with myself to calm down.  _ It's the drug _ , I told myself.  _ He doesn't know what he's saying. _

"Blaise," he whispered like he was trying to clear his head. He moved his head closer to my hand in a pleading way, begging me to continue caressing him.

I then lowered my head to kiss him; he looked so innocent in his dream like state. What I hadn't expected was that when our lips touched he fell down. It happened so fast that I didn't have time to grab him before he hit the floor. I gave up trying to hoist him up when he grabbed one of my legs with both his arms and held on, almost like he feared to be lifted up.

"Get up, Harry," I said firmly, but got no response. Instead he began to massage my thigh with his face. I could feel my cock twitch from the attention I was receiving from Harry but I didn't do anything in fear he would stop. He then pushed himself to his knees while pressing his forehead into my groin. The attention my lower part of the body continued until I stopped him.

I fisted his hair and pulled it away from me, I was shocked to see that he was staring at me.

"Take me again before she tries to Blaise," he croaked. I felt a jolt go through my body; _ did he mean they haven't had sex yet? Could I be so lucky? _

"Am I the only one that has had you?" I asked as I cupped his face with my hands.

He tried to nod but it seemed that it took too much out of him.

When I learned that I was the only one that have touched Harry I grabbed him and – with new strength fuelled with desire - managed to lift him up. He clung on to me and wouldn't let go until I told him to release me. When he released me he fell back until his back touched the cold castle wall, I wouldn't have wanted him any other way.

Somehow I managed to open his pants and take them off him. When I saw that he wasn't wearing any underwear I was shocked; if this was any other time I would be turned on, but not when I realized he probably had forgotten to put them on. I would see if I could help Harry, after we have had our fun together.

I noticed that his cock was almost as hard as mine, when I grabbed it Harry moaned loudly.

"Take me, Blaise," he whispered pitifully.

Any control I might have over my body vanished when I heard him beg me to fuck his sweet, angelic body. I used my wand to clean him before I quickly knelt down in between his thighs. My tongue licked the tip of his cock once before tracing him all the way to his entrance. I then pushed through his tight ring of muscle and moaned myself when I heard his sweet moans. I didn't stop until I decided he was wet enough, by that time he was shaking in pleasure.

My own pants were gone in such a haste that I wondered to myself what happened to them, not that I cared to know. Gasping at my need to feel Harry I kissed Harry until he stopped me.

"I want it hard, I need to feel you, and only you," Harry said when he pushed me away

My brain must have shut down because, before I realized what I was doing, I'd pressed my cock between his cheeks all the way until our bodies seemed to be glued together. I should have taken it slow, but Harry's pleads were driving me mad with need.

Harry screamed from the brutality of having his ass almost ripped open, I feared that I had hurt him but he assured me between his moans that he was fine. I felt bad for hurting him until he shrieked at me for stopping, before he got a chance to say anything else I moved my hips, but in a slow rhythm this time. I had almost forgotten how it really felt to be inside Harry that I tried to savour every second. I loved the way he tightened his ass muscles when I pulled my cock out of him, and the way he lifted his ass every time I pushed in again.

"F-Faster," he begged while dragging me towards him.

"But I want it to last," I rasped. Every word I spoke felt like claws scraping my throat.

Then I began to move faster, and harder, making Harry moan loudly every time I crashed into him. I didn't think about anything besides us, and for those blissful moments that was the only thing that was heard through the library. Our pleasure-filled moans and screams, and our bodies smashing together so hard that it sounded like someone was being spanked.

I could easily tell when Harry was close; he clenched his teeth hard together and pinched my arms. He opened his eyes, begging me to continue. Before I knew what happened, Harry screamed loudly and pulled me down on him. I tried my best to fuck him while being in that awkward position, but when I felt his warm seed shoot up between our bodies I didn't care about anything else. Now I could let my body have its reward.

As soon as he released me I stood up and grabbed his already spread legs, bringing his ass higher up so I could have easier access to him. As soon as we were both in the positions I desired, I began to fuck him so hard that I feared I might hurt him again. Soon I began to feel the all-too-familiar squeezing feeling in my groin and it felt like I needed to be deeper to get release, so I lifted up on of his legs on my shoulder and fucked him sideways, harder and faster than before if it was possible.

Soon after I began moaning and swearing at the amazing experience. I noted that Harry's dick began to move again, to my surprise, so I grabbed it and began pumping in the same rhythm as I fucked him.

"Fuck, Harry..." I squeezed his cock harder. "This is so fucking good," I managed to say through my teeth.

Then my groin began to contract and I had the strongest orgasm I had ever had. It felt like something hot ran through my body and ripped it apart, making me moan and shiver, in a good way.

When the whole strange sensation was over, I looked down at Harry and saw that he'd come a second time, that made me smile. I was unsure whether it was because of me or the drugs, but I bet he loved it no mater what. I rested my body on Harry's; it felt like we melted together, his breath and heart beat felt like my own. Never have I felt so peaceful after sex, and I'm sure only Harry can make me feel that way.

"Do you love me?" I realized I was almost asleep when Harry's soft voice grabbed my attention. The question itself was simple, there are only two possible answers, but none of the answers seemed to suit me.

"Do you?" I countered, I was trying to avoid answering Harry's question.

"Yes," he murmured. Who wouldn't be shocked at that? I've devoted my whole life to fucking as many as possible and never being in any relationship, but Harry changes it all. "I love you," he said, probably feared I hadn't heard him the first time. My breath had stopped and I feared I would die like that, if Harry only hadn't confessed his feelings to me.

"You shouldn't," I said as I sat up and looked at him.

"Don't tell me what I shouldn't do, I know I love you." He seemed to be clearer than before, maybe the sex drove some of the poison out of him.

"If you tell that bitch about your feelings then she will kill you," I said, before adding, "And me."

"Don't call her a bitch!" He suddenly screamed at me, and pushed me away from me. I didn't do anything because I knew it was the drug that made him say that, even if only seconds ago I thought he looked clearer. "I'm sorry." He looked down like he was ashamed.

"You don't need to apologize for what she does to you," I muttered as I carded my fingers through his hair. I could see that he didn't respond well to the drugs, his mood swings was enough to tell me that it would end up badly if she continued.

"Why don't you love me?" he said, his voice so soft that I almost didn't hear it.

"I do, but not the same way you love me." The words escaped my lips before I could stop them.

"That is more than I hoped for," he said happily, and dragged me towards him into a hug.

We stayed like that for a number of minutes before both deciding it was time to leave. I never got the chance to ask how he managed to escape Weasley in the first place, but unless this was our last moment together I would have plenty of time to ask him.

As he left the library and I went to sit down to finish my research, I felt happy. Right now I had no worries in the world.


	18. Chapter 18

Little did I know that that would be the last time for several months where I would have a conversation with Harry, let alone see him do anything without assistance. As Harry left me in the library alone I was more than happy about what we had done. The rest of that day and the beginning of the next was just as wonderful, until Draco came over to me and gave me the big news that had been travelling around the school like fire through dry wood. At first I didn't think it was that severe news, but quickly understood that something bad has happened.

"Yesterday they were fighting in the hallway while the game was on," Draco said, sounding incredibly bored. If I wasn't interested at what he would eventually say I wouldn't quickly have stopped him. He continued to tell me stuff that I already knew, like Harry was behaving strangely, and that he seemed to be gone in his own mind, and of course nobody knew what was wrong with him. I wanted to strangle Draco and everyone else who hasn't realized anything, it shouldn't be possible to be as blind since Harry is practically a celebrity. What worried me was that Weasley must have decided to give him stronger drugs, to keep him from running back to me of course.

"During his first class today he fell down on the floor and began to twist around, almost like he was in shock. The teacher took him to the infirmary after he calmed down - Pansy heard he is still unconscious. She thinks he's been bitten by one of the animals in the Forbidden Forest, seeing as Potter spends more time there than on the Quidditch pitch, you know." When Draco told me that Harry fell over my interest in the conversation hit the roof. Because nobody knew what was happening, they didn't know how bad it was, but I knew. I couldn't believe that Weasley would actually give him an overdose just so Harry wouldn't choose me.

Once Harry left me yesterday I had the feeling that something wasn't right, but I chose to ignore it, thinking that it was because I hadn't really eaten anything, and because I had just had one of the best times in the library. Sadly it was too late to do anything now, but I should have been more cautious.

"Is it over between them?" I asked hoarsely. I held my breath as Draco tried to think.

"I don't think so... The last thing I heard was that Weasley was sitting beside him in the infirmary, she won't leave his side." If I hadn't been ordered to stay away from them I would have walked straight over and kicked her out of the school. Being alone with Harry also gave her the advantage of drugging him without anyone's knowledge.

I tried to act interested in the rest of the conversation but it wasn't an easy task seeing as all Draco talked about was the game, Pansy and exams. As soon as I got the chance to move away from Draco, I did; I had more important things to do than to listen to Draco talking about himself.

Everything was different after Draco had told me what the big news was. I could easily recognize when people were talking about Harry, Weasley, or me. And even if I couldn't hear what they were whispering about, I knew they were thinking that I might have done something.  _ So in the end everyone believed Weasley's version _ ? That only made me want to expose her even more. at that moment I hated myself for not paying more attention to the drug, if I did maybe I could find what drug she was using and get her expelled.

Almost like a punishment I locked myself in the library. For days I read through books about potions, trying to find something that resembled the one Weasley had been using. I knew that the potion book must come from the school library, because Weasley would never dear to buy an illegal one, she wouldn't be able to afford it either. Sadly I couldn't find any potion that was strong enough to make Harry act the way he was acting.

After three days I began to wonder if there was any record of the potion, and then I realized that the potion wouldn't be in any ordinary book that even a first year could read, so it must be in the restricted section. If the book actually was there then I would have big problems... How could I enter a part of the school that is guarded?

I knew that if I didn't find a way to break into the restricted section I wouldn't have a chance to see Harry for a long time. I was sure that, as soon as Harry wakes up, Weasley will try everything to keep him from me again; there was no way I would lose Harry to the Weasley witch.

Since I realized that I had to sneak into the restricted section of the library I had to wait for an opportunity to escape the Slytherin dungeon first, it wasn't easy since Draco or Pansy always seemed to be around me. Two days later when I finally managed to sneak out from the common room to the library, I searched through the old books until I saw the sun rise again; that was when I decided to go back to the common room. On my way down I barely escaped unnoticed because Filch was more determined to catch students breaking the rules after the Weasley twins finished school.

After a whole night of searching through the old dusty books I had both good and bad news. The good news was that I found the location of the potion book, and the bad news was that the book was missing.

Because I didn't have any proof I couldn't go to the headmaster, or anyone else; not only would they not believe me, but I would be punished for being out of bed after curfew as well as having broken into the restricted section of the library. But even if I didn't have any proof I decided to go and find the Headmaster, maybe he would believe me. During breakfast I walked up to his office and requested a meeting with him, only to be told that he would be gone until next week. If he was gone it meant that I wouldn't be able to help Harry for another four days, and by that time it could be too late.

As the news about Harry travelled through the school, it never reached the Daily Prophet, strangely enough. Every day when the paper arrived at breakfast I expected a big front page story about how Harry was ill, and maybe dying, but Harry's name was never mentioned. I thought it was quite strange so I sent the headmaster several owls, hoping that one of them would reach him. I also asked two of my teachers if they knew where he was, but received no proper answer. In the end the only thing I could do was to hope he would come back before things would turn for the worse.

Maybe I shouldn't worry that much. If things were really bad then they would probably send him to St. Mungos; they wouldn't want to take any chances with the students, and especially not Harry Potter.

Every day I hoped I would see him joining everyone in the Great Hall to eat breakfast, but was disappointed every time. Only after two days did I finally see him, but even if he was awake he didn't look great. He was eating, laughing and doing everything he should do, but his eyes was as blank as the lake on a calm and cloudy day. He never showed any signs that he was really living. Even if he was back I feared for his life; he'd been sent to the infirmary once and could just as easily end up there again.

What didn't change was what the students were whispering. As always they thought a Slytherin was behind it all, unless they believed that it was an accident, like Draco thought. Before I got to know Harry I never cared about what people thought about him, but now I hated to hear people talk about him, and strangely it's not because I know they think I am the bad guy. I hoped the headmaster would come back before things would get out of hand, like everybody believing Weasley was innocent.

The next day when I was walking through the school I met Weasley. I knew better than to say it was fate, especially since she was racing towards me, clearly she had been searching for me. The first thing I wanted to do when I saw her was to kill her, but I had to restrain myself; if I ended up in Azkaban I wouldn't be able to help Harry.

"I told you to stay away from him, now look at what you've done," she said in a playful tone. It sounded like she thought it was all a game. I knew she was crazy, but hearing her blame me for Harry made me realize even more that she was quite disturbed.

"I didn't do anything and you know it." She gave me one of her sweetest smiles. If someone saw us they might think I was giving her compliments.

"I know you did it, and so do you," she said calmly. "If you stayed away from him when I told you too then this wouldn't have happened. Maybe you should stop lying to yourself and face the reality, it's all your fault." I could see the insanity that was creeping under the sweet smile, and it reminded me of Bellatrix. "If you continue that way you might kill him." I tried to hold back every emotion that was fighting to show itself, even if I wanted to pull her by her hair all the way up to the Gryffindor tower and throw her down, I had to stay calm.

"You plan to kill him?" I asked hoarsely. The sweet innocent smile changed into a dangerous, evil grin.

"You're the one who's killing him, not me."

"Why do you want to kill him?" I asked her, before answering my own question myself. "Only because you want him for yourself, right?" I knew the answer before I asked, but I wanted to be completely sure.

"If I can't have him no one can." She already expressed that she wanted to kill Harry, but when she said I couldn't have him my heart began to hurt from the mere thought of Harry being dead, pictures of his lifeless body flashed in front of me and my stomach began to twist.

"If you hurt him I'll make sure you're sent to Azkaban and receive the Dementor's Kiss." She smiled one last time before running away from me, I didn't have a chance to catch her before the hall was filled with students.

_ I thrust deep into his tight hole, relishing in the wanton whimpers that escaped Harry's mouth. Knowing that I caused them motivated me and the feeling of being inside him was making me go crazy. No sooner had I thought about my release, I came into my lover's entrance. His face below me was even more beautiful than normal; his perfectly soft cheeks had a rosy tint and his lip was red-raw from where he had bitten down onto it. _

I woke up to find myself in a small pool of my own come, cursing my brain for tormenting me with such tantalizing images of Harry. Images that had to be fake. My Harry didn't have a rosy tint to his face - he was most probably pale and deathly white from the poison. His lips may be chapped, but only because of the damn drugs he was on to keep him alive. It saddened me greatly to think that I may never see him looking that healthy and beautiful again.

After a quick cleaning spell I went back to sleep since the clock showed that it was only three in the morning. This time, however, my dreams weren't haunted by Harry's angelic face. No, this time it was Weasley's horrible smiles that wouldn't leave me alone. Harry was somewhere in my dream too, or it felt like he was since Weasley was constantly talking about him. The she-devil was standing over me, even when I stood up straight she was taller than me. She was also wearing a black robe which reminded me a lot of Bellatrix the day I met her. I couldn't remember everything Weasley was saying but there was one thing I couldn't forget. She said repeatedly that she wanted to fuck me.

When I woke up the second time that night I found myself sweating from fear. I knew Weasley wouldn't want to fuck me, it was all a dream, but I had no idea why I would have such a dream. It was clearly a nightmare, even if I hadn't dreamt of anything dreadfully frightening I was still scared. I tried to understand the dream. The way she was standing over me like that looked like she was the next Dark Lord, which is bad enough considering that we still haven't gotten rid of our current Dark Lord.

I decided that, even though it was still early, I should get up. A shower would be in place since I was sweaty from two completely different dreams, one that had me sweating in pleasure, and the other one in fear. While scrubbing myself clean, I thought about the recent dream where Weasley was practically a demon, and how scared I was of her. I might have feared her in my dream, but that is all that it is, a dream. But even if I don't fear her in my awaken state I fear her actions. Harry's life is pretty much hanging on a thread, and Weasley has the scissors.  _ But what would happen if she decided to cut the thread Harry is hanging by? What would happen then to the rest of us? _ This time I wasn't only thinking about my relationship with Harry, I was thinking about the Dark Lord. Everybody knows that the Dark Lord is after Harry, I have no idea why but I am sure Harry is a key to the destruction of the Dark Lord.

I hadn't thought about it before, but when I sat down to count the days I had left before the end of school, I realized it was April the first;  _ where had the time gone? _ There was only three months left of school, I wondered if that would be enough time to save Harry. Would he live that long?

I told myself that I wouldn't think about the possibility of Harry dying; I won't let it come to that. But if it did then I'd be sent to Azkaban for killing Weasley. 'I'm sure that in the end someone will die, but whether it's me, Harry or Weasley, it's too early to say. I told myself again that it won't happen - I'll make sure it doesn't.


	19. Chapter 19

When I first heard that the headmaster was back it felt like my prayers had been answered, but that feeling soon vanished when I realized he wasn't in any condition to talk to me. I couldn't believe this school; how can a silly little girl get away with drugging the saviour of the wizarding world while nobody notices it? How can the teachers, who are suppose to protect the students, not notice it? And how are Harry's own best friends unable to see that he is drugged? If this was anyone besides Harry I would have ignored it and moved on, but something inside me didn't want me to leave him.

Not being able to talk with the headmaster would set me back a lot, but I couldn't hold the information to myself any more. There were multiple teachers I could go to, but I didn't know how much help they would be if they believed Weasley's lies. However, I knew I had to try, even if they wouldn't believe me. I had to take a chance, if not for me then for Harry.

I met Snape before lunch and requested a small meeting; luckily Snape never declined when one of his own students asked for something.

"What is so urgent, Zabini?" Snape asked impatiently. I was unsure where to begin; I didn't even know what I should tell him.

"Have you noticed anything strange about Potter?" I questioned finally. He looked at me strangely; he most probably never expected me to ask about Harry.

"There's always something strange with him," he muttered. I know he holds a lot of negative feelings towards Harry but I really hoped that he could lay that behind him and see that the poor boy was drugged.

"He's being drugged or poisoned or... something, and I'm pretty sure he will die if nobody helps him." Snape's expression didn't change - he still looked like he was bored.

"Do you have proof, boy?" he asked quietly. The anger that surged through me when I heard that sentence made me want to shout and leave;  _ why would anyone need proof when it's Harry? Can't they believe me?  _ If it was one of Harry's friends who were worried about Harry people would believe them at once, not ask for proof.

"You don't believe me?" I challenged. "That slutty girl, Weasley, has been drugging him for months, telling everybody that they are in love so they won't think he's acting strange." I was starting to sound desperate and I didn't like it, but I  _ was  _ desperate; if nobody believed me then Harry would die seeing as there was no way I would let Weasley keep him without a fight.

"Have you told the headmaster about this?" Snape asked, still as calm as ever.

"No, every time I go to speak with him he isn't there." There was a long pause before Snape spoke again, this time he sounded suspicious.

"Why are you so interested in helping Potter?" I wasn't sure what to say, but when he continued his question I thought my head would explode. "Was he the person you wanted to forget?" I mentally slapped myself; I know Snape is intelligent, but I didn't know he would put two and two together that quickly.

"Yes," I answered quietly. Anyway, this was the head of my house so I didn't think I would need to hide my feelings that much from him; surely he wouldn't betray me. "But it didn't work. I mean, it did work, but the memory loss seemed to vanish."

Snape narrowed his eyes.

"The potion never vanishes, unless..." The way he trailed off annoyed me.  _ Unless what? _ It sounded like it was important so why wouldn't he tell me? "If what you are saying about Potter is true then I believe we will be in great danger if he dies; everyone will be in danger." Here I was, thinking about my relationship with Harry, forgetting that he was an important key to the war. Harry might appear to be just an adolescent teenager, but he seems to have hidden powers.

Am I being selfish for wanting Harry for myself? Probably, but if I wasn't then who would stop Weasley? Of course she wasn't fully to blame for his condition; if I'd ignored my feelings for him the first time then things wouldn't have reached this, but surely I can't be blamed for her being on the brink of insane. If they were together maybe she would have began to poison him only to get her way.

"Someone needs to stop her before she kills him," I said, almost like he didn't already know it. I had hoped Snape would say yes, then find her and expose her, but he didn't give any sign that he planned to do anything. "Please sir, you need to do something." Begging him made me feel like a child, it was a horrible feeling, but I needed to bring her down.

"Unfortunately I can't just take her and accuse her; I need to go and talk with the headmaster first." I wanted to shout at him and tell him that by the time they decide to do anything Harry could be dead. But I kept my mouth shut and walked away; at least I warned them.

-o-

It's not easy walking around the school fearing for Harry's life without being able to do anything. But I managed to stay away from both Harry and Weasley. After three days of avoiding them I thought I'd done exceptionally well, especially since the rage was bubbling up inside me every time I saw them together, but I managed to keep myself calm.

I thought things were going seemingly good, so I hadn't expected the next thing that happened. An owl flew over to me with a note; it simply said -It's your fault.- I had no idea what it meant, until Draco almost rushed over at my side with the hot news.

"Potter was sent to St Mungo's," he said breathlessly, almost like he enjoyed it. As much as he wanted it to sound like he didn't care I could still recognize the fear in his voice.

"What happened?" I asked desperately. Something horrible must have happened, but why? I had been good, I'd ignored them as I waited for Dumbledore to come back.

"Don't really know," Draco said shrugging. "Pansy heard that he was poisoned."

So people have finally realized the truth; better late than never, I suppose.

"Did they say who did it?" I asked cautiously.

Draco shook his head. "Some say it was the Dark Lord, but there are a few who thinks it's a student. I'm pretty sure they will point the finger towards us." Of course people would think it's a Slytherin that is poisoning Harry, if they do believe that version of the story.  _ Why would she poison him if I behaved? What's her plan? _

-o-

The next day I received a letter from the headmaster requesting me to meet him in his office at lunch. If I received it four days ago I would have been thrilled, but not now. Mentally I cursed him for not seeing me when I first went to him; there isn't much he can do now that Harry's state is critical.

As soon as it was time for lunch I made my way up to the old man's office and knocked. Immediately, the doors opened and I was most surprised to see Snape and McGonagall surrounding the headmaster; I suppose I'd almost expected Snape to be there, but not McGonagall.

"Enter, my boy," Dumbledore said. I did as I was told and walked over to the chair that was awaiting my presence. "I hope you don't mind that I asked professor McGonagall to join us." _ Like I had any choice _ , I thought bitterly.

However, I nodded politely and said, "Not at all, sir."

The old man smiled warmly before continuing. "I'm sorry that I wasn't able to see you yesterday." I didn't say anything; nothing I could say would change the past. After a few seconds during which the professors looked at me expectantly I knew I had to speak.

"Apology accepted, but I do believe we have more important subjects to discuss," I said firmly. Did he bring me up here only to make me accept his apology? Dumbledore nodded and gave me another smile.

"I agree; we do have more important things to discuss. I took the liberty to inform Professor McGonagall about Harry's condition, based on what you told professor Snape, and she has agreed to watch over Miss Weasley." I felt like shouting some common sense into the old man;  _ why did they need more proof? Is it because I'm a Slytherin? _ I could see that McGonagall wasn't happy about her assignment. She was probably thinking that the poor, little, innocent Weasley could never have poisoned Harry. "Do you have any information about the potion that was used?" Dumbledore asked.

I shook my head. "I've searched the library for the book but haven't found it. I did, however, manage to find the location of where the book should be, but it was missing when I looked. It was in the restricted section." I hoped I wouldn't be punished because I broke into the restricted section, but the situation seemed to loosen them up a little.

It was time for the potions master to talk now. "I believe that most potion books in the restricted section have fatal endings headmaster." I feared for Harry's life even more so after what I'd just heard; I could honestly and safely say that I didn't want Harry to die. Snape turned towards the headmaster and continued. "After this meeting is over I'll see if we have any record of the missing book." The other two professors nodded in agreement.

"Mr Zabini, are you sure it's Miss Weasley?" McGonagall asked, obviously not concerned about hiding her favouritism. I couldn't say I was surprised she doubted me; after all, she's a Gryffindor who believes her students only do good things. And being a Slytherin didn't help me much, especially not after all the fights I've had with Harry.

"Professor, I might be a Slytherin but that doesn't mean I'm evil." Not the worst kind at least. "If you believe I'm mistaken then I suggest you try and find the real reason for why Potter is dying." A mental award was in place; I thought I did well answering that stupid question and shutting her up. What I really hated about her was that she was still questioning me after she had agreed to watch Weasley.

"Do you care to tell us what kind of relationship you have with Mr Potter?" The question the headmaster asked shocked me;  _ did he know what kind of relationship we have? Was that the reason for the awkward question? _

"I don't see what that has to do with Harry's situation, but I can assure you that I do not wish any harm to come to him. If I didn't care about him I wouldn't be here warning you." The old man nodded and smiled; I had a strange feeling that he might know the truth.

"Blaise, before you leave I wish to tell you what happened right before Potter fell into the coma." So he is in a coma; I could feel my rage grow. "He was in the Gryffindor common room with Mr Longbottom when he suddenly began to choke, then he began to throw up." I kept silent, unsure why I needed to know this. "It took approximately five minutes from when it started for him to collapse." Knowing my Harry had suffered made me wish, even more, that Weasley was right in front of me just so I could torture her until her puny head exploded. "I'm telling you this because, before he collapsed, he managed to say one word: -Blaise-."

That made my heart ache; _ he called for me. _

"I'm sorry to say that information has, since then, been spread around the school."

"They'll think I'm the one who did it," I blurted out. I wasn't stupid, I knew that by saying my name I would be a suspect. And since we are in a school where the students don't really think a Slytherin and Gryffindor could have a relationship, other than rivalries, I would be right.

Dumbledore nodded, his expression sympathetic.

"Exactly. If what you are saying is correct," I was shocked they still didn't fully believe me after what I told them, "then Potter wanted you to come to him. But sadly we can't allow you to get closed to him, not before the person behind this is caught and your name is cleared." I didn't care if people thought I was the guilty one, I wanted to see him.

"How long do you think that will take?"

"It's hard to tell, my boy, but we will try and do our best to catch the guilty one."

"I guess that's good enough," I said flatly, standing up to leave; there couldn't be that much more he had to say.

"If anyone tries to hurt you, in any kind of way, then don't be afraid to come to one of the teachers; I'll inform the other staff about your protection." I really didn't need any protection, but I wasn't going to fight the old man since he looked extremely tired. After five seconds of silence I knew we were done. We said our goodbyes and I left them.

-o-

Days passed and I heard nothing new about Harry. Well, nothing good at least. Harry was still in a coma, and Snape hadn't found the book or potion Weasley used; but the worst news was that Weasley hadn't been caught yet. At least I was smart enough to ignore everyone who pointed and whispered behind my back. If I was like Draco I would have hexed each and every one of them. I hadn't thought about it before but I realized this must be how Harry was treated when the school was against him, like the time everyone thought he was the heir of Slytherin. Honestly, I was glad to hear that he might be the heir, Merlin knows families like Draco's get to much attention in these kinds of cases.

"You monster!" came a shrill voice, disrupting me from my thoughts. I had expected the first physical attack to have happened days ago, so it didn't come as a surprise. But I was shocked to see who it was that attacked me - Granger. She hit me a few times but it wasn't enough to make me fall over. Annoyed at her pitiful attempts to hurt me I grabbed her wrists and turned her around so her hands were behind her back. She didn't give up fighting me even after I caught her, which strangely turned me on.

"Let her go!" the Weasley boy cried out. I rolled my eyes and pushed Granger away from me; I wasn't in any mood to fight. As quickly as she was released she tried to turn and jump on me again, but was stopped by her boyfriend who knew that she wouldn't win.

"You should keep her on a leash," I said to the red-faced boy, though my gaze was fixed on Granger. Her face turned a deep red as she tried to attack me again, but Weasley held her back until she calmed down. "I should report you for your abuse, Granger," I continued.

Her face turned from red to white. "You wouldn't."

"You're the one who should be reported," Weasley snarled, taking one stop forward like he was trying to protect Granger. I don't think I had ever seen him that daring before and, to be frank, he was turning me on too. I reminded myself that this is hardly the time to think about sex, not when the one I cared about was on his premature death bed.

"I beg your pardon?" I said politely. I knew exactly what they meant, or thought; like everyone else on Harry's side they thought I was the one that hurt him. But even if they had the wrong information I didn't think this was the time to tell them the truth. Anyway, they wouldn't believe me if I did. "I'm not the one who poisoned Potter." I tried, hoping I could escape the tense atmosphere.

"Yeah, right." This time it was Granger who decided to open her mouth and insult me _. _

"I don't care if you believe me or not, but I'm not the guilty one; I'm actually trying to help him." I could see that they were both in shock by what they just heard, but I could also see that they didn't believe me. I know I shouldn't have told them the truth; it's not like they could help me. First of all, I'm a Slytherin and they're Gryffindors, but there's another important thing that keeps them from believing me. The guilty one is the little sister of the Weasley boy, and is practically the sister-in-law to Granger. "Unless you wish to destroy the progress we are making to save Potter then I suggest you don't tell anyone about what I just told you, including family."

"Why should we believe you? You could be a Death Eater for all we know," Weasley spat. I should find my wand and hex that boy for accusing me for being a Death Eater, but if I did that then they definitely would never believe me. I didn't really care if they believed me or not, but since they are Harry's friends I don't want us to be enemies.

"I don't bow for anyone, so what makes you think I would do it for him?" If they are intelligent then they would never say something like that ever again.

"Why do you want to help him then?" Granger asked softly, breaking the tense silence.

"I don't have to tell you anything."

"He's our friend," she said more firmly. "We demand to know why."  _ They dare to call themselves his friends when they didn't see he was being drugged for months? _

"I don't have to tell you anything," I repeated. I could see that both of them wanted to protest, so before they got a chance to say anything I continued. "When he wakes up you can ask him since I have no intention to tell anyone." It has always been like that; I never tell anyone who I fuck. If they decide to let people know then it's their choice, I'm not doing this to gain fame.

"If you truly do want Harry to wake up again you should keep all this information to yourself," I said coldly. Sadly I didn't realize the subtle mistake of calling Harry by his first name until afterwards. I hoped that the two Gryffindor's hadn't realized my mistake so I tried to act normal.

Quickly I turned around and left them before I would make another mistake. Merlin forbid I let it slip that I fucked Harry. I know the mistake wasn't as big as telling them that I was trying to help Harry, but just by saying his name I could put Harry in danger, especially if the Weasley slut finds out. Maybe I shouldn't have told them about Harry and me; it may have been better if I let them believe I was trying to kill him. But what is done is done.

-o-

A few days later as I was walking away from the library I met the Weasley boy in the hallway; he looked like he wanted to tell me something so I decided to act like I didn't see him and walk straight past him, but - annoyingly - he didn't play along and stopped me.

"Zabini." I really didn't have the time for him, it's difficult enough coming up with a plan to capture his sister red-handed without the intervention of her brother. Annoyed I stopped and turned around, then waited for him to say something.

"Are you really trying to help Harry?" he asked sceptically. I wondered what he knew, but decided to go along with his conversation.

"Yes," I said flatly. I kept my answers short, hoping that I could get away as quickly as possible.

"Do you know who's hurting him?" he continued, and I gave him a small nod. "Why won't you tell us?"

"Because this person is disturbed and insane; if she finds out I have told anyone she might kill him," I blurted out before I could stop myself. Luckily I managed to restrain myself from saying it was his sister.

"So it's a girl?" Weasley said, catching on immediately. Damn it, why wasn't he as stupid as Draco always claims he was? "Who is it? One of his stalkers?"  _ So there was more than one?  _ Merlin have mercy on him when he wakes up; if I find out he's done anything sexual with his stalkers then he will be in big trouble. But I realised it wasn't true; Harry hasn't done anything with anyone.  _ I was his first and last, he told me so himself. _

"Instead of trying to find out who it was you should try and find out why you didn't notice he was being drugged for several weeks," I said with a sneer. "What kind of friend are you?" I had one intention with that sentence, and that was to get his mind off who is drugging Harry.

"We knew something wasn't right, but he always assured us that he was fine. And I'm a good friend, Harry is just so damn good at hiding bad stuff that happens to him! Most times he doesn't want us to worry about him."

I scoffed mentally and held in my retort:  _ Oh, you are so mistaken Weasley. Harry probably wanted you and Granger to find out but did you? No. That was why he came to me for help. _

"Go back to Granger, I'm done discussing Pot-" But before I could finish my sentence he interrupted me.

"You called him Harry before," the red-headed boy stated. I knew that small mistake would come back to haunt me. "What kind of relationship do you have with him?"

"It's private," I spat. "If you really want to know then ask Harry the next time you see him." Before he got the chance of delaying me any longer, I left. The next time I see Harry I'll have to tell him what nosy, annoying friends he has.


	20. Chapter 20

As of late, I'd been feeling pretty lazy, mostly because I hadn't really accomplished anything. The first week of April passed and Harry's condition was still the same. I suppose I should be thankful; at least he wasn't getting worse.

However, the Weasley whore was still at St Mungo's and it annoyed me like hell; I constantly heard people saying how brave she is and how much she loves Harry. It makes me sick.

After the encounter with the boy Weasley, I hoped I wouldn't meet him again. Luckily I didn't, but I should have hoped I wouldn't see Granger either.

I was down by the lake like everybody else on that sunny Thursday afternoon, and I had no worries about being disturbed. Not until I realised that Granger must have seen me since she was walking straight towards me, her arms full of books and her big curly hair sticking out in every possible direction.

"Tell me who's hurting Harry!" she cried, even before we were in reasonable talking distance. Did she honestly think that demanding it again would make me change my mind?

Finally she reached me and I could speak to her.

"Do you want to be the reason he dies?" I asked.

I could see she was battling with herself for a moment before she ignored her conscience and demanded more answers.

"How would he die if I know?" she asked me suspiciously. "Are you under a spell? Will the person know if you speak their name?"

"I don't take chances," I said shortly. _ Especially not with Harry. _

"You know," she started as she put her books down and folded her arms, "I'm starting to believe it's you seeing as you haven't told anyone about it. Why did you wait until Harry was sent into a coma?" I could see what she was trying to do; trying to turn everything around so I would the guilty one. It could also be that she was trying to find someone to blame since her best friend could die; probably having someone to put the blame on would ease the pain. I know that if someone close to me was dying I would find someone to blame it on, innocent or not.

"You're such a stupid girl," I snarled at her. "Do you think I didn't tell anyone because I  _ want _ Potter to die? How many times do I have to tell you that if I expose the guilty one, they'll make sure he dies! Why can't you ignorant, annoying Gryffindor's trust me? Is it because I'm a Slytherin?" I made sure I didn't shout at her; it wouldn't look good if I was sent to the headmaster for fighting with another Gryffindor, again.

"I don't believe you because I have to take every step of precaution possible," she whispered. "Harry could die and I won't even know who was to blame!" I could see her eyes were turning red, a likely sign she would begin to cry. Then I'd either have to comfort her or run away. After much deliberation I decided that - even though I hate comforting anyone - I should try and stop the tears.

"Sit down, Granger," I said as kindly as I could, but I was still annoyed. It took a little before she did as she was told as she was still sobbing. I knelt down next to her. "If you were the one who knew who was drugging Harry, and you knew that if you told anyone the truth then the guilty person would kill him, would you tell anyone about it?" She shook her head; at least she understood. "The only reason why nobody believes me is because I'm a Slytherin."

"That's not true." I wished she would keep her mouth shut sometimes - she knew I was right.

"It is, and I don't wish to argue on that matter. You don't believe me because you don't know what relationship I have with Potter, you only know that we've fought a few times. That's more than enough to make me a suspect." I wondered if I should tell her that Harry and I have met other times as well, but decided it was too early. "I won't say anything else since it's between me and him, but when he wakes up you can ask him if that is what you wish."

It looked like she accepted my answer, even if she didn't believe me, but that's as much as I'd hoped for right now. We sat like that until I had to go back to class. After that I didn't see her again.

-o-

I thought I was safe from angry Gryffindors, but apparently it was custom that I should be haunted by one every day. The day after Granger found me the boy Weasley trapped me in a corner.

"What is it, Weasley?" I asked exasperatedly. It was clear to me that he wasn't sure if he wanted to say anything. Since he was unsure I decided to leave. "If you're not going to open your mouth any time soon then move out of my way. I have better things to do."

"What kind of relationship did you have with Harry?" he asked suddenly. I must say that I was shocked to hear him ask me that, but not so much so considering that Granger probably nagged him to ask me.

"It's private."

"Was it a sexual relationship?" His ears turned crimson red as he spoke, and I wondered if it was because of the question he just asked or if he was imagining something.

"Did your girlfriend tell you to ask me?" I asked slyly. The blush travelled from his ears to his cheeks, making him look absolutely adorable. "Why do you ask?" But from the way he kept opening and closing his mouth, I could tell that he wasn't able to say much.

I wasn't sure why but I got the feeling that Weasley sometimes fantasizes about men... Maybe it was the way he was blushing or it could be the way he looked at me. The only thing I knew for sure was that I would try and find it out.

"Do you have naughty thoughts about me, Weasley?" I asked, my voice gravelly with anticipation. I didn't think it was possible but his already crimson face turned a deeper shade of red.

I got my answer.

I know it was wrong since I have something special with Harry - if you can call it that - but how could I turn my back to a horny teenager?

I grabbed his tie in a firm grip. Weasley looked away but didn't do anything so I took it as an invitation. I pulled his tie so he was forced to come closer to me before I claimed his lips. He wasn't really aggressive like my Harry, but he responded when I pushed my tongue into his mouth. I grinded my body against his and twirled him around before pushing him into the wall.

"You sure you want this?" I breathed. Harry accused me for rape, even if I didn't do anything against his will, so I wanted to make sure that Weasley didn't think it was rape as well.

"Yes." His reply was so soft and quiet that I had to convince myself that he'd spoken. I didn't need any other answer from the blushing teen.

Before he would come to his senses and change his mind I began to kiss him again. Then I pushed my hand down his pants and grabbed his hard cock. In a fast pace I pumped him, making sure he enjoyed every part of it. He moaned and pushed his pelvis up to meet my strokes, his eyes closed and his mouth opened. I decided to kiss his neck before softly biting it, making him moan even louder.

I continued until his whole body began to tremble and he came in my hand. I was glad we were completely alone because when Weasley came he growled so loudly that it could be called screaming. I watched him as his whole body collapsed for a moment. It was a good thing that I was holding him.

"You'd better head back to the Gryffindor tower, Weasley. We don't want your girlfriend to get suspicious." It took him a moment before he understood what I was saying.

"Oh no, what have I done?" he whispered. I could see the fear in his eyes from realizing he had cheated. I didn't feel bad about what we had done, and didn't see why he should; if I got my will I would have Granger in one way or another too, not that I think I would try; she was far to sure about herself for my liking.

"I won't tell if you don't." I smirked at the scared boy, he certainly had something special, even if it wasn't something for me.

"I cheated, how can I not tell her?" Stupid little boy, I just hoped he wouldn't tell Granger what we did, that could certainly stir his relationship with Harry.

"Is it a crime to have a little fun? I bet you satisfied yourself plenty of times, I just helped you this time." I have fucked, sucked and masturbated many boys and girls who were already in a relationship, so I know how to make them relax when they suddenly realize what they have done. "It's not a crime to enjoy yourself. I'll see you later, Weasley."

And then I left; I didn't see the point in staying. I'm sure that the next time he sees me he will find it strange as well. There was no need to make him blush even more.

-o-

Days turned into weeks... horrible weeks that made me want to hit my head against the wall until it cracked. I hate it when something awful is going on but I can't do anything. I wondered if things would have gone in a different direction if I had chosen not to fuck Harry in the first place, or if things would have been different if I had killed Weasley the first time she threatened me. Or maybe things would have been different had I gone straight to the headmaster the first time I knew something was wrong with Harry.

I hated to sit and reflect over the past, thinking  _ what if, _ but I realized important details that I haven't thought about before; what happens to the war now that Harry is barely alive?

"I have put him under a strong protective charm which keeps him safe," the old buffoon answered me when I asked him. I wanted to shout at Dumbledore and tell him how stupid he is - the Dark Lord isn't the only danger to Harry, the Weasley slut could kill him even easier than the darkest wizard of our time could!

"Have you found out what kind of drug she used?" I asked nervously, but Dumbledore shook his head sadly.

"Unfortunately she found it in a book that has proven to be extremely hard to find, but I believe we will find another copy soon."

I scoffed; I have a hard time believing that a group of powerful wizards haven't been able to find a copy of a book that a silly school girl probably stumbled upon. Was it really that difficult to arrest Weasley?

"I can give you my memories," I said suddenly, though I knew it was too late. I should have done it ages ago, or at least when Harry was still walking... if I accused her for the crime now then nobody would believe me, even if I did have several memories that could send her to Azkaban. I know that everyone will believe they're fake memories. It's just like Granger said;  _ why would I wait until now? _

There had to be something I could do. After all, there was only a little over a month left before school was over.

-o-

The short meeting with Dumbledore didn't help me much; everything was just as fucked up now as it was before. The only good thing that came out of the conversation was that he told me Harry was responding to the treatment. I wondered how, seeing as they still hadn't found out what sent him into the coma in the first place, maybe he fought the potion himself.

Of course, I knew that things wouldn't be that easy; every time I thought Weasley might lose the battle, she always managed to twist things around so I looked like the bad guy. I was so sure that something bad would happen so the day I heard Harry had woken up I found it hard to smile.

During the second day I decided to take a chance, to think that  _ maybe _ I could win this time. But of course I didn't have any such luck. Just when I decided to hope for a good ending something went bad. Really bad.

The headmaster called me to his office to tell me the bad news. I hadn't heard anyone in the school gossip about Harry, so it must have happened recently.

"As you know, Mr Potter woke up yesterday," Dumbledore said calmly. I nodded; of course I knew that, did he think I could walk through the school not hearing about the good news? "Miss Weasley met him yesterday evening after the medi-witches checked him." I didn't show him how much that bothered me; why hadn't he denied her access to him?

"Why did you bring me here?" I asked, my voice hoarse. I could tell it was something important; the old man looked most upset.

"A close friend of mine watched over Potter, and he reported back to me the instant Miss Weasley left him." So someone was watching them... if I find out who it is then I wouldn't hesitate in asking if Weasley had ever stepped over the line and kissed Harry. "I am sure you know what the subject of their fight was." At least the coma hadn't messed up Harry's mind - he still wouldn't stay with her. I nodded; how I could not know? "Do you wish to tell me what's been going on between you three?" Dumbledore asked, as he peered over his spectacles. Apparently I had no choice, even if I didn't tell him he would probably still know in the end.

"It's between me and Harry, but since you apparently need to know then I'll tell you the short version." Harry would probably hate him but he didn't have a choice. "We had sex in October," I said quickly. The headmaster wasn't shocked, he just nodded. "Then we had a fight, he wanted to stay with me but I didn't."

"So you don't want to be with Harry? Is that the whole story?"

"That is the beginning, I can't stay with him because relationships doesn't work for me." I answered him without thinking about the question and felt embarrassed; I'd never told anyone about my fear of relationships, if you could call it that. "Weasley," I took a pause to restrain myself from adding slut, "wanted Potter, but she wants him because of fame and money she would receive if she married him." The headmaster nodded slowly, but I wondered if he really understood what I meant. "I was sort of willing to let her have him, until Potter almost begged me to stop her."

"I see." He didn't say anything else so I took it as a sign to continue.

"She threatened me many times; right before Potter ended up in a coma she sent me a message telling me that it's my fault."

"Do you know what she meant by it?" he asked, his blue eyes intrigued. I really didn't want to tell him, but something about his being told me it was safe to tell him even the darkest secret I had. Maybe he used magic to make me spill my secrets, but deep down I knew he would do everything he could to keep me safe, even if I was a Slytherin.

"It was during the last Quidditch game," I said, thinking back to that wonderful afternoon. "Harry found me in the library studying, and... we both had sex again. She must have seen us or something because I heard a rumour that they were fighting in the hallway the same day, not so long after we met."

"I see. Thank you for telling me this, Blaise. I know how hard it must be for you to tell me and I appreciate it." He stood up and walked around the table; it looked like he was thinking.

"I'm sure you didn't bring me up here only to get my version of the story," I said, following the pacing wizard with my eyes.

"You're right, I asked you to join me because this morning I received some dreadful news. Approximately two hours after Harry ate breakfast he had another overdose. This time he died before they managed to bring him back, he is still in a coma but stable." It felt like my heart jumped out of my chest; how could he have died?

"She did it," I said instantly. I fought the urge to get up from my seat and hunt her down and kill her.

"Unfortunately there is no proof of her doing it. Miss Weasley didn't have access to Mr Potter's food." _That couldn't be true!_ I thought angrily. _She was the one who did it!_ _She killed Harry..._

"So you're saying you can't do anything even if she killed him?" I whispered. I began to lose faith in the system; how could one, insignificant, little girl kill someone without any consequences?

"Calm down, my boy," the old man soothed. "We have a plan, but we can't do anything until Harry wakes up."

"How can you be sure he'll wake up this time?"

"He slowly began to gain consciousness today." I couldn't believe it; first he made me tell him about my relationship with Harry, then he told me Harry had died but was brought back to life again, and then he told me they couldn't arrest the slut. This day wasn't good at all. I decided to stay calm even if it killed me.

"Why did you tell me he died? Why did you tell me any of it?" I asked huskily. I wiped my eyes which were threatening to give away my feelings for Harry.

"I know what he means to you, and you shouldn't give it up because of commitment problems or because you two have problems adjusting to each other."

"You don't know anything, I don't love him, and I don't want to stay with him," I said flatly.

"Snape told me about the potion," Dumbledore said quietly. "He knows a great deal about that potion. Did you know, for instance, that it's impossible for it to lose its effect, except..." I was becoming tired of his small pauses. "Well, except when someone tries to stop love." It didn't make sense, especially not since I had decided early on never to care about anybody.

"Love can conquer everything, Blaise. That is why Harry survived when he was a baby, because his mother loved him so much that she sacrificed herself to save him." That was something I didn't know, but that didn't mean I needed to know it. I didn't want to stay with Harry, did I?

"What has that got to do with me?"

"The only way Harry can survive the war is with love, without it he might lose faith," Dumbledore said warmly. When I looked at the old man I could see that he wanted me to help Harry. I decided then to help him out, if things really didn't work out in the end I could just break off my relationship with Harry.

"So when can I see him?" I asked stiffly. Dumbledore smiled softly, and I knew that meant I would be seeing Harry as soon as he woke up.


	21. Chapter 21

The fact that Harry had woken up from his coma played on my mind all day and night. It frustrated me to no end, knowing that he was in constant danger with that red-headed bitch around him, while I - the only one who knew what was truly going on - was unable to even see him. In all honesty I wasn't sure if seeing Harry would make me feel any better; especially not if Weasley was planning to kill him again. What I needed was something to put my mind off it. I decided that the next time I saw Weasley she would be in trouble.

I didn't know it until later, but that day was filled with good luck. I was surprised I still had any good luck left since I had practically been eaten up alive by bad luck. My day began with black clouds and cold rain. The droplets were so big and hard that it felt like golden snitches were flying into you. Then, with no warning, the rain stopped and the hot, bright sun came out from behind the clouds. The weather changing wasn't what I called luck, but what happened after was better than I ever could have imagined.

I was walking out in the sun like every other student in the school, when I had a strange urge to walk towards the Quidditch field. At first I thought it was because of Harry and his interest in Quidditch, but when I reached it I saw what my heart was leading me to: the Weasley bitch. I wanted to turn around and walk away, but I knew that running away from her wouldn't help me, so instead I walked straight towards the Quidditch benches and waited for her. I expected her to do something stupid when she first saw me, and she didn't disappoint. Not long after she spotted me she turned her broom around and headed straight at me, with her wand out in the open.

I found my own wand in case she would be stupid and try to attack me, and I couldn't take the chance that one of the Gryffindor's on her team would stop her if she tried.

"You should get the hell out of here, Zabini," she snarled. I tried to stay cold, but her pathetic threat made me laugh; not even a child would be threatened by her.

"You should have left the game a long time ago,  _ Weasley _ ," I spat right back at her. Now that Harry was awake, he could testify that whatever I'll say next is true. Two of the Gryffindor players joined her side; I was instantly reminded of Draco and his minions.

"What do you want?" asked one of her friends. I wasn't completely sure who he was, but I think Draco called him Thomas once... that sounded right, Dean Thomas. He wasn't bad looking actually, nice skin and a pretty mouth. But that wasn't what I came for, so I turned my attention to Weasley again.

"Stay out of it, it's between me and Weasley," I said coldly.

"If you touch her you'll be sorry," Thomas warned. He had guts, but that didn't mean I admired him, especially seeing as he was trying to protect Weasley. I could see that the girl loved to be taken care of, and I decided that, even without Harry's permission, I would tell them the truth. It might not be the best move but I had to expose her, I wouldn't be able to continue sleeping at night if I didn't do anything. As the rest of the Gryffindor team gathered around her I took a deep breath; it would be risky to tell them but that was a risk I was willing to take.

"Did anyone know that Potter died yesterday?" I asked quietly. Two of them looked like they were ready to curse me for saying such a thing, whilst the rest of the team was shocked. Weasley, however, was wearing the smile that was so similar to Bellatrix's.

"What happened?" It was the Weasley boy that asked.

"You can all ask Miss Weasley about that," I said, my eyes narrowed. I know I was going a bit fast, but the last time I waited Harry went into a coma, and then he died. It was time for me to take charge and bring the bitch down. "She poisoned Potter, only because he didn't want to be with her." I could see that they didn't believe me, but I didn't blame them.

"Don't be ridiculous, it was you, Zabini," whispered the Weasley bitch. Her face changed into something which reminded me of Bellatrix again, and I could see that it wouldn't take long before she would do something stupid.

"How can you accuse her for poisoning him, when you Slytherin's always wanted him dead?" chirped up one of the other team-mates.

"I would never kill anyone, so stop comparing me to the filthy Death Eaters. Did you know that there are Death Eaters who used to be in Gryffindor?" Weasley could just as well be a Death Eater, since she has the same goal as the Dark Lord, to kill Harry.

I wasn't able to think much more because Weasley physically attacked me with no warning. The only thing on my mind at that point was to try and push her off me, even if I wanted to kill her just as much.

"You bastard! You killed him, you dirty Slytherin!" she screamed. I wanted to strangle her, but my goal with confronting was to make people believe me, and if I choked her to death nobody would.

Then the strangest thing happened, while she was hitting me, and while I was trying to push her off, her teammates grabbed her and pulled her off me.

I watched her as she was struggling to get loose from the hands that kept her away from me.

"Let go of me!" she shouted at them, but none of them obeyed her.

"Haven't any of you asked yourself why Harry quit the team? Or why he wasn't responding when you talk to him?" I asked them all. If it was possible Weasley became even more wild and it looked like she was about to scratch everyone's eyes out.

"If this is true, and he was poisoned, you could still be the guilty one," Thomas said while keeping Weasley from attacking me. That was when I saw the boy Weasley; I had completely forgotten about him. When our eyes met I could see the pain he felt, probably because it was his own sister who was the one that was poisoning Harry. I just hoped he wouldn't automatically take her side.

"And what reason would I have for doing such a thing?" I growled, getting extremely irritated. I could see that at least two of them were beginning to doubt Weasley's story, what annoyed me was the rest that refused to believe me. "Weasley would lose a lot if Potter doesn't want to be with her. Pray tell me, what do I have to lose?" It felt like I'd won a small battle when most of them looked over at Weasley, who was still fighting.

"She would never do that," Thomas said slowly, but it was easy to hear how unsure he was.

"Who spread the rumours about her and Potter? And about me? They haven't managed to prove it yet but I'm pretty sure she is the one behind the story about me and my mother." I was brushing off the mud that was stuck to me since I didn't think she would attack me again, not while her teammates was doubting her anyway.

"If it's true, then what part do you have in this?" piped up the boy Weasley. I looked over at him; why would he ask me that after everything I let slip to him? I hoped he knew I wouldn't answer him completely truthfully.

"He begged me to help him stop her," I said calmly. I decided that even if they had more questions to ask I would leave. Who knew how long they would hold her back, and I didn't want to take the chance of being attacked again. At least I could call this battle tied, even if I clearly had won.

-o-

After the incident on the Quidditch pitch things began to get exciting. I didn't particularly like all the attention I received but I knew I had to learn to live with it if I want to save Harry. Sadly not many believed me, which made me angry, but at least most of them were beginning to question Weasley's story. I tried to ignore the other students as well as I could, but it wasn't easy since they always seemed to come in between me and whatever I was heading for. When I say I was trying to avoid the other students I mean everyone, I was especially trying to avoid two certain Slytherin's because I knew that they couldn't wait to get their hands on me and rip me apart with questions. Unfortunately I couldn't avoid them all night, even if I wanted to.

The first thing I tried to do when I entered the Slytherin common room was to walk straight over from the entrance to the bedroom without being stopped. I was unsuccessful.

"What are you doing with Potter?" asked Draco immediately. I thought Pansy would have been the first to ask, but he obviously beat her to it. I could of course refuse to answer, but if I did so I would be bombarded by Pansy with the same question. Knowing that I had lost the battle with them I walked over to the sofa and sat down.

"Blaise, what's up with you and Potter?" Pansy asked when she sat down beside me; Draco, who'd sat down first, moved over to make space for her.

"Nothing that concerns you two," I said in a tired tone.

"Oh my god, you did him, didn't you?" I always knew Pansy was intelligent, but I thought it would take her a little more time to realize I had shagged Harry.

"You know as well as I do that I never tell anyone who I have been with." Of course she would take that as a yes, heck even if I denied it she would still think it.

"You tease!" she said in a playful tone. "But what's up with you and Weasley?"

"She's a bitch, and she challenged me." Pansy rubbed her neck after my answer; it made me wonder what she was thinking. I didn't want to ask her because I knew by her silence and twitching mouth that it was something funny, but I cared far too much to let her stay quiet.

"Yes?"

"I was just thinking," she said through a smirk, "it's a good thing nobody challenged you to join the Death Eaters." I couldn't avoid laughing at her stupid comment. She was right; I never backed out from a challenge,  _ but did she think I was stupid enough to join the Death Eaters if someone  _ did  _ challenge me?  _ I saw that Draco looked quite uncomfortable when Pansy mentioned the Death Eaters, but that wasn't my problem; he was the one who joined them without arguing or fighting back. Of course, I would be sad if something happened to Draco but I'm not responsible for his actions or lack of actions.

Never would I join someone as crazy as the Dark Lord. I refused when Bellatrix tried to force me, and I would refuse if the Dark Lord himself came in person to make me join him. I haven't really thought about it before but the potion I took probably saved my life; she didn't tell me what she wanted from me, and I didn't know it at first, but she knew about me and Harry. After my memory of me and Harry had come back to me, I'd wondered how she knew, but I never found an answer.

"If you two don't mind, I'm going to bed," I said, hoping to make my escape, before Pansy found another question she had to ask me.

"Why are you helping him? Is it only because she challenged you? Or do you have any other feelings for him?" I stopped, but didn't turn round.  _ Why was she so curious about Harry? _ She knew how I was, and that I didn't have feelings towards anyone I have fucked, so why did she suspect anything else?

"It's none of your business, Pansy." And then I left.

I love it that I'm capable to leave people hanging like that. In fact, I'm probably most well known for that. But I had to remind myself that this wasn't the time to think about my accomplishments, I had to prepare myself for what would come. However, when I closed my eyes, my worries about Weasley or anyone else vanished. As soon as everything went black I saw Harry, and his angelic face; and with Harry smiling back at me I fell asleep. For the first time in awhile I didn't need to worry about sleeping.

-o-

It was infuriating; even though I didn't have problems falling asleep I still woke up far too many times to count. I wasn't even sure I was sleeping before I woke up the second time again. I figured it was because I was beginning to get nervous about seeing Harry again, but it could also be because, when it's time to wake up, everyone will be talking about me, and I really hate that. Luckily I had a sleeping drought in my trunk, so I wouldn't have to worry about sleep for the rest of the night. At least this way I would manage to get at least four hours of sleep before I had to get up to go to class.

I wasn't in a good mood when I woke up; the lack of sleep and what happened the previous day was pulling my mood down, and it didn't help that I was the subject of everyone's conversation.

Somehow I survived most of the day without being confronted by anyone, and even if it was horrible being talked about I knew it could be worse; someone could actually attack me. Luckily for me nobody did that.

It wasn't until that evening that I was confronted by anyone. Granger stood in the middle of the hallway, arms crossed and looking furious. I knew that even if I tried to avoid her she would find a way to get to me, so I stopped in front of her and waited for her to say something.

"You liar," she hissed. "How could you accuse poor Ginny for killing Harry?" Normally I could read people well, but this time I wasn't sure if she was annoyed or miserable. "She warned me that you would try and frame her."

"I thought you had brains, Granger," I said with a sneer. "I thought at least you would see the truth when it bit you in your ass." She gasped out loud, I was unsure whether it was because I was insinuating she was stupid or because I still accused Weasley, but I could see she wouldn't give up.

"You won't turn me against her like you have with others," she vowed, her voice shaky.  _ So I had succeeded in turning someone against the Weasley slut? That was interesting. _ When I looked behind Granger I saw the boy Weasley running towards us. He must have known what we were talking about since he was in such a hurry to get to us.

"Ron, tell him that he's wrong, Ginny would never do something like that." She pleaded with him when he reached us, but he didn't say anything, he only looked at both of us in shock. Granger, I noticed, was almost fuming with rage; she hadn't expected her boyfriend not to back her up.

"Well, 'Mione.." he mumbled nervously. "The more I hear about this the more I'm prone to believing it..."

Hermione looked stunned.

"Ron, Ginny's your sister!" She was turning into an emotional wreck I noticed, and I didn't care.

"I know!" Weasley said, impatiently. "I know, but the more I think about it - as painful as it is - I think that... I think we should believe him..."

"No! He is a liar, and a Slytherin. I can't believe that I thought he actually wanted to help Harry." Tears were flooding down her face, and to my pleasing it looked like her boyfriend wouldn't do anything to help her. When Granger looked at me I smiled sweetly; the unfortunate Weasley didn't know what to do so he stood still watching us. I can't imagine it's easy to choose between us two, his girlfriend and his sister or his best friend and a stranger who he had a little fun with. Actually, it wasn't that hard to choose, so I was surprised he was backing me up.

"Why do you want to harm her?" asked Granger once her sobs stopped.

"You should ask her why she wants to harm Potter," I said exasperatedly. She looked offended, and I feared she would attack me any time soon, and because I was tired I feared I would soon lose control over my own anger. When I looked over at Weasley he blushed.  _ Was he thinking about our time together?  _ I smirked, it was so adorable to see someone blush when they are thinking about sex.

"If you don't mind, I have better things to do than to stand here arguing with you, trying to convince you when you are determined not to believe me." I tried to walk around her but she stopped me by grabbing my arm.

"If you hurt any of my friends I will find you and make you regret it dearly," she whispered. I didn't respond to her threat; there was no point in doing so seeing as she would never believe me, not as long as the manipulative bitch is spreading lies about me around the school. Even if I didn't worry much about Granger threatening me, I couldn't help thinking how similar it was to the sluts threats, and then I wondered if she would turn into the same manipulative bitch as Weasley, making everyone around her do as she wants.

Nonetheless, I didn't want her to share the same fate as Weasley, which was why I had to find a way to make everyone believe me. However, the fact of the matter is that I don't possess the ability to change everyone's mind, mostly because I'm a Slytherin. Luckily for me there was one who did have that power; Harry. When he comes back I'll show Granger how mistaken she was.


	22. Chapter 22

The moment I'd been dreading - yet also dreaming of - for days had arrived. It was finally time to see Harry again. I thought I had prepared myself for this moment, but my hand was still shaking a little when I reached for the door handle. I took a deep breath before pressing down on the cold, metal handle, and took another deep breath before I had the courage to push the door open.

The sun was shining straight into the room and it blinded me. After the first few seconds of adjusting my eyes to the light I could make out a bed by the wall in the middle of the room, and sitting in it was a dark haired boy. The same dark haired boy who I knew had stolen a piece of my heart.

When our eyes met he smiled. I couldn't hold back my own emotions and smiled back, though it felt more like a grin.

"Blaise." Hearing his voice again was like heaven. I'd almost forgotten what it sounded like.

"Harry," I greeted back. I walked over to his side and took his hand in mine, returning his affection. When I saw how good, healthy and alive he looked I would never have believed he had been dead a few days ago.

"How are you?" he asked, and I smirked; I should be the one to ask him how he is, not the other way around.

"I'm good," I said. "How about you?" Then the strangest thing happened; he giggled. I couldn't understand what was so funny.

"I'm a little tired," he admitted. "Gone through a lot."

I wondered how he could be so calm after been drugged for months and then practically killed. I would have been furious! Undoubtedly I would have thrown things around me and tortured the one that did something like that to me.

"Did they tell you when you can be released?" I asked hopefully.

His smile faded, and that was when I saw the real Harry. When that beautiful, angelic smile disappeared, tired, dark rings seemed to appear under his eyes and his hair suddenly seemed a lot messier. I tried telling myself that his hair was always messy, but this time it looked unkempt.

"They say that, unless something bad happens today, I'll be released tomorrow."

I raised my eyebrows. That was good news, so why had he changed from joyful to gloomy so fast was a mystery. I had the feeling that he wouldn't tell me what was wrong unless I asked him.

"What is it?" I asked softly. He looked away from me. Was he embarrassed over something? "Harry?"

"You'll only think it's pathetic," he muttered. Maybe I would think that, but it didn't mean that I didn't want to know.

"Try me," I said casually, folding my arms. He still didn't look up at me, but he talked anyway.

"I don't think I can face her," he whispered. I knew who  _ her _ was; that red-headed slut, Weasley.

"Why?"

"You know why, Blaise." When he looked up at me I saw that his eyes were glistening with unshed tears.

"So you mean that you can face the Dark Lord but not a stupid little manipulating girl?"

"She hasn't done anything that bad, really," Harry said desperately. "Voldemort... he's done more bad things, killed innocents."

"So because she's only tried to kill you and not hundreds of other innocents she doesn't deserve to be punished?"

"No, that isn't what I mean."

"Then what do you mean?" I snapped. I could feel my rage growing inside of me; why didn't he want to punish her? She killed him, she lied to him, she's mad for Merlin's sake!

"She didn't mean anything bad with what she did," Harry implored. "She just loves me enough to want to do anything to be with me."

I was angry, and I'm sure Harry could see it.

"If you let her get away then I don't see any future with us together," I said coldly. I released his hand and watched as he opened his mouth a few times without being able to say anything.

Finally he found his voice.

"You see a future with us together?" he asked, his eyes wide. He was probably shocked that I'd even considered a relationship. I inwardly groaned; why was it so difficult for me to talk about relationships?

I sighed. "Not if you let her get away." I suppose what I was doing was almost like blackmail, except that it would be me who would lose more if he decided to do as I demanded. I would lose my freedom, my right, my mind, and everything else a relationship demands out of someone.

"I want to be with you," whispered Harry. I was pleased that he decided to bring her down, even if I would lose my freedom to him while he is taking hers away.

"I should warn you that the whole school knows you died," I said cautiously. "And Weasley lied to everyone and told them I was the one who tried to kill you." Maybe I should take it easier, he didn't look so great, and he'd been through a heck of a lot. "I've managed to convince some of the students, partly. I don't think they are ready to back me up but at least they question Weasley's side of the story."

I began to feel sorry for him; his sad eyes were digging through me until they grabbed my heart and squeezed it. Instantly I felt a need to try and cheer him up, _ but what should I do? And why did I have the need to cheer him up? _ This whole thing made me sentimental; I was becoming an emotional wreck.

"Do you know how much pain you are causing me?" I said quietly. I took a small pause to let him wonder what I meant by it. "Since that first kiss you have been the only one on my mind."

"Then why do you continue to fuck others?" Harry said, his voice uneven.

I felt like giving up on this attempt at honesty. I was trying to do something good and he was ruining it! Why does he need to even discuss my wide range of partners? He knew as well as I did that it's not easy for me to stay with only one person.

"I... I don't know," I admitted. "But you should know that I'm fucking less people now than before." That was true; before Harry I used to have at least two partners a week, now I barely had one partner a fortnight.

"And that is supposed to make me feel better?" Harry asked nonchalantly. I wanted to pull at my hair; was there no possible way to get Harry to understand? Everything I said, he would twist and make me look like the bad guy.

"If you hate it then why do you want to be with me?" I asked. He had no answer, just like I had no answer to why I wanted to be with him.

"Will you never be fully mine?" Harry croaked. I hated that awkward, uneasy moment, especially since I knew the truth would hurt Harry. I don't want to hurt him, but I know that I could never purely, solely be his.

"Harry, you know how much I want to be with you. But I want you to realise that I'm not a noble, honest Gryffindor like you. I'm no Golden Boy. I can be cruel when I want to and I don't know how much I could change if we were together. Of course I'd try and change but... I can't promise anything."

"But you will try?" I nodded and he smiled.

"I will try, and starting now I'll try to make you feel better." He stared at me in shock while I climbed up on the bed and knelt in between his legs. "I'm sure that your stay here hasn't been too pleasant, hmm?"

"It's been horrible," he managed to say in a dry voice; it surprised me he tried to speak.

"Do you want me to release some of that horrible pain?" I murmured.

He nodded, and I grabbed his cock. He gasped; I'm sure we were both thinking how it had been far too long since I last had his pulsing cock in my hand.

He didn't have a chance to move into a comfortable position before I managed to release his cock from the horrible hospital tunic.

I wanted to take it slow but it was difficult now that I finally had him to myself. I licked the tip of his cock just to annoy him. When he groaned in restricted lust, I decided I had tortured him for far too long, even if it was only a few seconds. When I took his whole cock into my mouth he gasped loudly. Then I moved my head up and down his length, slow at first because I didn't want him to come early. I moved my tongue over his cock as often as I could, tasting the pre-cum, then I began to move my head faster, until I forgot about my surroundings.

"Blaise," he panted, "I can't take it anymore."

I was lucky I'd understood what he was saying; even basic English was a difficult task at that moment when Harry's cock was inside my mouth. While I was sucking him hard I pressed one finger against his entrance, using the saliva that was running down the cock as lubricant. When I pressed my finger inside of him he moaned, then he gasped again when I found his magic spot. Without warning he grabbed my head and pressed his cock even further into my mouth as he came, waves of semen was shot down my throat and I didn't mind it whatsoever.

When it was all over and he released my head I could finally see him again; he looked tired. I reminded myself that he'd been through a lot, and an orgasm on top of it wouldn't help him.

"Maybe it's time for me to leave," I muttered. Based on his response I thought he was sleeping, but when I got off the bed and covered him up with his duvet, he stopped me.

"What about you?" Harry asked, his green eyes flickering to the tent in my trousers. I was surprised he cared about me that much; before, when I'd made him come and then left, he didn't bother about my needs.

"I'll be fine," I said with a smile. "I can go days without release. It makes it so much better when I finally do come." Harry pushed himself up in the bed and looked at me.

"Promise me you'll wait for me this time."

"This time." But it won't happen often; I won't let Harry control me that easily. Why shouldn't I go and find release with someone else? It's not like I care about them like I care for Harry.

We kissed passionately for a few seconds before I had to leave him, as sad as it was, but I reminded myself that in only a day he will be back at school.

-o-

To say that I felt good after meeting Harry was an understatement; I couldn't remember the last time I felt so happy. The short meeting with Harry made me forget about my problems, even if it was only for a short moment.

What I feared the most was to meet Weasley after I was with Harry, but luckily I didn't see her. In fact, it didn't seem like anybody knew where she was.

I did, however, meet Granger. She looked like she had been crying; her eyes were red and she avoided me when she was running from the library up towards the Gryffindor common room. I wondered what was going on, and even though I knew I should have left it alone I decided to go and find out. I walked into the library and scanned the large room. Nothing seemed strange, but I knew it wasn't that easy. I walked between all the bookshelves until I was sure I had located where Granger had come from. It wasn't difficult to guess where she must have sat before; books were spread all over the floor, notes everywhere, and the Weasley boy was slowly putting them back where they belonged on the shelves.

"What happened?" I asked. When Weasley heard my voice, he jumped and I knew instantly that they must have been talking about me. No one would be that jumpy if they hadn't done anything wrong.

"Zabini, what are you doing here?" the red-headed boy grumbled. Not wanting to tell him that I was worried when I saw Granger cry, I made up a lie, which could just as well have been the truth.

"It's a library," I stated. "I need a book." He seemed convinced - it sure didn't take much to fool him. "Do you care to tell me what Granger's hysteria was all about?"

"It's private," he snapped. I hope he didn't think I believed that lie. Maybe it was private, but it must be about me; I only hoped he didn't do something as stupid as telling her about what we did together.

"Really? So if it was something about me then you would tell me?"

"Maybe." He began to blush. I worried that he had told her, not that I could deny him from telling anybody.

"Weasley."

"All right." He grabbed another book and put it in its place. "We were talking about you; she still doesn't believe you. Usually I think she's clever, but this time I know she's wrong, so I told her." He grabbed another book, but this time he didn't do anything with it, he just stared at it. "I told her that I thought you might have done something with... well, I'm not sure, but I think it's true, but I can't know for sure..." He was beginning to babble, and it was annoying me.

"So you told her that I fucked Harry?"

"Did you?" How can Harry be friends with someone as stupid as Weasley?

"You can ask Harry when he comes back."

"Merlin, you did!" I didn't deny it, neither did I admit it, so why would everyone think I did fuck Harry? "Did you say that he's coming back? When?"

"Tomorrow." I thought that he would jump up and down for joy, but instead he looked sick. "You're not happy?"

"I am, but I don't know what will happen tomorrow with Harry, Hermione and Ginny."

"He will be fine, I visited him today and told him that he needs to stand up for what is right." He still didn't look glad, damn Gryffindor's; I can't seem to leave them alone.

"What will happen after this? If everybody believes Harry, what will happen with my sister?" I didn't want to tell him the truth of what could happen to her, or that I was hoping it would happen. She would probably be taken to court, and if they found her guilty then she could possibly be sent to Azkaban. I know it's not true, she is too young to go to Azkaban, but they will take her away.

"I don't know, guess we have to wait and see." Luckily for me he didn't ask me anything else, he only nodded and continued to clean up Granger's mess. I decided our conversation was over and left.

-o-

When I woke up the next day I had a feeling that everything would be fine, that all the shit I had been haunted by would disappear. I knew things would go well but I didn't know how well it would actually turn out. I went to class and ignored everybody; if they knew that Harry would come back today then I wouldn't be the hot topic.

After all my classes were over, and after I had been sitting in the Slytherin common room for an hour, I decided I should go to the library to do some research for the astronomy class. Just as I was walking up the stairs from the dungeon I was attacked by the Weasley bitch. She was screaming and hitting me, saying awful things about me and what she would do to me. I hadn't expected her attack so early since I'd just left the Slytherin common room.

"You dirty Slytherin, how dare you see Harry after what you have done to him? When everyone sees that I'm right you will be  _ so _ sorry." I still couldn't believe that she didn't see who was to blame, but I couldn't expect anything else from a mad girl.

I grabbed her arms and twisted them so she wouldn't be able to hurt me, not that she succeeded; her hits weren't harder than if she should use a pillow to hit me.

"Let go of me, you filthy Slytherin!" I was beginning to get tired of all the names she was calling me, and I was beginning to get tired of her ugly face too.

"How did you know I saw Harry?"

"So it's true!" I knew her brother must have told Granger, and I sighed; how stupid of him. He must have told the slut about it too, still thinking that I was the one to blame.

"Yes it's true, and before I left I gave him a blow job." She screamed louder than before and tried to free herself from my grip, I knew that if I released her she would probably find her wand and kill me for what I did to Harry. I knew I couldn't let her go while she was screaming like that, and it was difficult to try and grab my wand since I would have to release one of her arms, so I continued to hold her.

Luckily I didn't have to do anything towards her; her shouting was so loud that both students and teachers were heading down the stairs towards us.

Madame Hooch was the first teacher to reach us. I was glad it wasn't McGonagall again; I didn't think she would be as kind with me this time.

"What on earth is going on here?" she barked while splitting us up. Weasley was still trying to hit me but not as much as before now that we were surrounded.

"He's evil!" she began to shout out. "He poisoned Harry and then killed him, and now he is trying to blame me." The next time I'm alone with her she will be sorry she ever accused me of killing Harry.

"Both of you need to speak with the headmaster, come on." Weasley didn't move, instead she stood there and stared at me. I wasn't frightened of her attempt to scare me; she didn't possess the power to scare me.

Hooch was trying to push her to walk up but she still didn't move; if she decides to act childish then I should be the grown up and show her, so I walked past her, ignoring the stares of the other students that didn't know what was happening. I wasn't thinking much about what Weasley did; she thought that she had won but the headmaster knew I was telling the truth. I was heading for Dumbledore's office but stopped when none other than Harry walked through the crowd. He moved away from the students when they tried to touch him or talk to him.

It's difficult to describe my feelings with words, seeing him there, standing, smiling, not under any influence of drugs, felt unreal, almost like a dream.

"Harry, kill him!" Why did Weasley have to be there then and destroy the magical moment I had with Harry? Couldn't she have waited one more minute, or until we had greeted each other? "He killed you, you have to kill him!" She ran over to him and swung her hands around his waist, it didn't look like it would be easy to get rid of her now.

"No, Ginny, he hasn't done anything. It was you." His voice was calm, but I could hear it hurt him to say that. The students who had gathered themselves around us were quiet, listening to every word that was said. "Why did you hurt me, Ginny?" She looked up at him with big puppy eyes; it didn't look like she understood the question.

"I didn't do anything," she whispered shakily. "You did; you and Zabini." That moment she reminded me of an innocent child, but I wasn't fooled by her act.

"Ginny, I think you need help; some professional help. If you don't go and get it yourself then I will take this situation forward." Why did he give her a chance? He died because of her, he quit quidditch because of her; she's the cause for many awful things that have happened. He shouldn't give her any chances!

"I don't need help, you do! You and that freak!" What happened next was not something I had expected. I had often hoped it would happen, but I never thought I would actually see it with my own eyes.

"Don't call him a freak, Ginny!" Even she was scared of his sudden change and let go of him. "You poisoned my mind for months, I lost almost everything that is important to me, and then you killed me! Not to mention you blamed everything on Blaise!"

"I didn't do it!" she managed to shout over his outburst.

"No, you ordered Dobby to do it for you, telling him that I would be better if he gave me that liquid. You used his trust Ginny." I didn't know who Dobby was but it must be someone who Harry trusts greatly. "Look around you, Ginny, everyone knows that you did it now, give it up."

Granger pushed her way through the students who were standing around us. "Is it true? Did you lie to me?" She looked at Weasley, shocked and angry; Weasley didn't know what to say and stood there with her mouth open. "How could you? I believed you, Ginny!"

"It's not true, he did it," she said desperately. I didn't even have to look at Granger to know that she didn't believe Weasley.

"Ginny," Harry interrupted them, "you're sick and you need help." Weasley turned back at him, still in shock. "Go to Dumbledore now." She stood there without doing anything; I thought she might say something again but she shocked everybody when she found her wand and shouted an unforgivable against Harry.

I don't know why but only seconds before Weasley reacted that way I had gripped my wand and pulled it out of my robe. Before she could say Kedavra I had managed to summon her wand so it was snatched out of her hand. Some of the students were screaming, others were trying to get out of the way, and a few jumped Weasley.

Harry wanted to be fair, but after this I doubted anyone would want to let her get away. Knowing that she will finally pay made me jump for joy on the inside.


	23. Chapter 23

I don't think anybody knew what to say or do right then, even the teacher was shocked. Nobody had expected a student, and especially not a Gryffindor, to try and kill Harry Potter. The few seconds that passed felt like minutes, until Hooch spoke.

"Miss Granger, please go and get the headmaster, tell him it's urgent." Her face was still as straight as before but her voice was shaking. "As for you, Miss Weasley, I think it best if you come with me." The three students who had - surprisingly - tried to stop her seeing as they were all friends of Harry, turned her around so she faced the teacher.

I couldn't believe how lucky we were; I didn't think the spell would have killed him if she had managed to finish the incantation since you need a great deal of power to cast it successfully. After all, the art of spell casting is more than just words.

When they had taken Weasley away, Harry's friends ran over to him to hear how he was. I was just about to leave when one of them stopped me and shook my hand, apologizing for not believing me and thanking me for saving Harry. I didn't save him to be thanked, but it was nice to be acknowledged.

And then, to make this day even worse, Harry walked over to me and hugged me, but that wasn't the worst part, no. When the hug was over he looked directly into my eyes and kissed me.

My whole body felt warm, my mind was cloudy and I forgot my surroundings. The boy had ruined everything for me. The kiss didn't last for more than three seconds, but those seconds were enough for everybody to see us. I could hear gasps, whispers, and even some giggles. Does he realise what he has done? It's his own choice if he wants to tell everyone that we fucked, but kissing me in public meant that we were a couple, and I had never agreed to that.

But I didn't say anything, telling him what I felt when we were surrounded by everyone would only destroy both of us, so I had to stay calm until I had a chance to talk to him in private. After a few seconds where it didn't look like Harry would be alone I left. I didn't want to be confronted by anyone, especially not if they were thinking of asking about the kiss.

-o-

Everything would have been great, besides my unwanted relationship status. If Harry knew what his little gesture did to me he would certainly have stayed away from me while we had an audience,  _ or would he? _ Maybe he decided to use that moment and mark his territory. I could feel the rage bubbling up inside me again; if Harry did indeed do it on purpose then he will be sorry, especially if that is the thanks I receive after I saved his life.

I had to relax. Fussing over something that was surely just a moment where Harry must have lost some of his brain cells wouldn't make my situation better. I needed to talk to him first and see his side of the story before jumping to any conclusions.

But finding Harry was a whole other story; now that he was back everyone wanted to see him. So instead of standing in line like a fool I decided to send him a letter, requesting his presence later that evening. I know I should demand it, after what he did to me he shouldn't have a choice, but I was pretty sure he would come anyway.  _ Why is it that I have changed for him? He was just supposed to be another boy that I've fucked, no big deal. _ But I still wanted to make him happy and I want to be there for him.

Later that evening while I was sitting in the Slytherin common room reading a book, someone crept up behind me and wrapped their hands around me. The gesture scared me so I grabbed the arms and twisted them around so whoever was behind me would be held against my chest, their back to my front. However, as soon as I saw who the arms belonged to I was glad I didn't use more force than I did, but even after I had learned my attackers identity I didn't release him.

"What do you think you're doing?" I asked incredulously. "And who let you down here?" Harry tried to look at me but my grip on him made it difficult.

"I didn't know a hug could cause damage," he said while trying to turn around again. "And it was a good friend of yours that let me in."

"I have no good friends in this house, especially not if they let you in to scare me."

"You also asked me to come." I had almost forgotten about that; the book I was reading was so interesting that I'd even forgotten I was sitting in the common room.

"I didn't ask you to scare me," I said, quite annoyed. After his near-death experience he has become a pain in the ass, he seems to challenge me every time we're together.

"So I scared you? I thought nothing scared you." And then he uses my words against me! He's become far too arrogant.

I released him; there was no point in holding him there if he enjoys it.

"You don't scare me," I muttered, and he smirked. Who did he think he is? "Come." It was time to talk about what he did earlier.

I led him to one of the small rooms that surrounded the Slytherin common room; they were there for studying but everybody used them for something else. Using one of the rooms alone with Harry would look like something completely different for the rest of the house, and I didn't need more rumours flying around the school, but at that moment I was too impatient and I didn't care so I pushed him into the room before closing the door behind us.

"So, what's up?" he asked nonchalantly. Did he really have no idea why I asked him to come? Maybe he really didn't think about what he did when he kissed me, maybe it was just a mistake.

"Why did you kiss me yesterday? Do you know what a kiss in public means?"

"Blaise, I thought we were over this," he said, seemingly exhausted. "You say you didn't want to be with me, but then you show that you care about me and my health and basically save me. Don't tell me that you don't want to be with me, not after what you have done for me."

"Harry," I began, looking away from his eyes. "You know that we can't be together, I'm not capable of staying in a relationship." I was expecting a spell, or a punch or something physical from him, but he never touched me. He stared at me for a number of seconds before his rage must have got the better of him and he began to call me nasty things. My only problem with his sudden anger was that he was shouting it out; now everyone will turn their attention towards this room.

"You bastard, do you really think that I'll let you get away from me that easily? I'm sick and tired of doing as people say, dating who they think I should date, and fucking the ones that they have approved! You will be mine, just wait and see, Blaise!" He pushed the door so hard that it hit the wall behind it and bounced back, but he didn't care as he stormed out from the common room. I was shocked over his outburst but I didn't say a word while he was shouting at me, not that I would dared to try and stop him once he'd begun. The strangest thing about our reunion was that his short speech scared me; Weasley had been the same way when she decided that Harry was hers, could he have changed into her?

When I left the room I was shocked to see that most of the Slytherins were staring right at me; Damn it, how could I have forgotten the silencing charm? Now everybody knew that I was with Harry, and that we've had some sort of a fight about our relationship. But maybe this time they would see that we're not a couple, if I'm lucky.

-o-

The story about Harry visiting me spread faster than lightning, which was something I didn't appreciate at all, but luckily for me that seemed to be the bad thing happening. Since Weasley's use of an unforgivable she had been spending more time in Dumbledore's office than Draco could find something rude to say about her, and because she was stuck there most of the day I didn't worry that much about her seeing Harry, not that I cared of course, but I still didn't want her to be near him.

Most students and teachers were convinced she was the evil one, but there was someone that just didn't believe the truth; Granger. After all that happened Granger still wouldn't believe me, and on top of that she wouldn't leave me alone when she saw me.

Several times a day I would be fighting with her just so she would step out of my way; her stubbornness enraged me. But I wasn't only thinking about Granger and Weasley, those girls were annoying so I ignored them whenever I could. I thought I might have been obsessed with Harry before but now after he'd come back to school he never left my mind. I was beginning to think that I was crazy because I thought he was calling me, when he wasn't even close to me. He possessed my mind so much that I did badly on the few tests we had left before the exams, which is a bad thing because if I didn't pass my exams with my required score I would lose my job opportunity.

It wasn't until three days before my first exam that I managed to get my feelings on the right track, thankfully.

At first I had a meeting with Dumbledore. He told me how brave I was and what a good job I did of protecting Harry, even if it meant exposing Weasley. I would have left in the beginning of our conversation, but I knew he would eventually lead the conversation to something more important. Then he told me shortly what he had been doing with Weasley. Apparently he was preparing her for court; even if she was underage they wouldn't spare her, especially since she tried to use an unforgivable.

Secretly I hoped they would find her guilty and send her to Azkaban to rot, but I know they would never let her rot there, based on her age they might give her a few years. The date for her hearing would be in five day - the day after my transfiguration exam. At least I would have a small break before my potions exam that would come two days after the first one.

After Dumbledore made sure I knew what would happen with Weasley he told me that I was going to be called in to testify. At first I didn't understand what I had to do with her, but everyone who had read the newspapers or heard the rumours knew I was connected to them in one way or another. Defeated I released my breath I'd been holding in and sunk even deeper down into the chair I was occupying; Harry brought me more problems again.

During the hearing I would probably be asked about my relationship with Harry, and I would be obligated to tell them that we have been sleeping together. And that meant I would have to find Harry and make sure he understands why I have to tell everyone  _ everything _ about our relationship. When everything important had been discussed the old man asked how my relationship with Harry was going. Clearly he hadn't heard the rumours about us fighting.

"Fine." I tried to make it sound real, but I couldn't hide how much it hurt.

"Do you have anything you wish to tell me?" he asked softly. Maybe this is why Harry spends time with the old man, because he manages to make him feel welcomed while sucking every little piece of detail out of him.

"I think Harry is a whiny little Gryffindor," I blurted out. "He always manages to make me both angry and confused." Here I stopped myself; I could see he was pushing me to keep talking, but I didn't wish to tell him about my private problems with Harry. I sighed and tried to subtly change the subject from my opinions of his golden boy. "How do you know your feelings are true?" I asked quietly, and he looked confused. "How do you know if what you are feeling towards someone else is real? How can you be sure you like someone? Or love them? I've told Harry that I'm not suited for a relationship but he still won't give it up." I hadn't wanted to tell him my problems with dating but I couldn't hold back my thoughts any longer. What was it with this old man that made me tell him secrets?

"That, my boy, is a tough question. Once, a long time ago, I had the same feelings towards someone. Thinking about it now makes me sad, because we didn't decide to make it work. You think you're not suited for a relationship, while Harry thinks otherwise. What if you two sat down and discussed what you think a relationship is? You might have more in common than you think, or maybe realise you have the wrong image of a relationship."

"So it's my fault?" I asked flatly.

"No, no, no, Blaise," Dumbledore chided through a soft smile. "I'm just saying that you and Harry are still young. You should sit down with him and ask him what he wants out of a relationship, maybe he doesn't request as much as you think." The old man's eyes were twinkling happily and, deciding that there was no point in being rude to him, I merely smiled, thanked him and left.


	24. Chapter 24

After the conversation I had with the headmaster, I decided to find Harry and ask him what he wanted from me, but it didn't seem like it was meant to be. Every time I searched for Harry and finally found him he suddenly disappeared. It was almost like he knew I was coming. After many fruitless attempts in trying to get near him, I ended up having to ask a pathetic Gryffindor to let him know I was waiting for him outside their common room. I waited for what had to have been twenty long minutes, but Harry never came. Nor did the messenger come back to tell me he didn't want to see me, which made me even more angry.

It seemed that, in the end, I would be the one who would be doing the running around after him, _ but why? And why him? _

Luckily for me I knew of other ways to speak to Harry, such as using one of his closest friends. One in particular I knew that surely wouldn't refuse me.

"Hey, Weasley," I called when I saw the red haired boy standing all alone in an empty corridor. He jumped when he first heard me and his face turned white when he realized I was walking towards him. I found it quite amusing how he looked more nervous than Longbottom did during a Potions exam. "Where in Salazar's name is Harry?" I demanded to know.

"Zabini," Weasley began nervously, looking around like he was expecting someone to come and rescue him. Luckily for me, however, we were completely alone, "Harry has a lot to do, with the exams and all that." Of course I didn't believe him; not only is the boy a bad liar but I knew that Harry was avoiding me.

"You like telling lies?" I asked devilishly.

"I'm not lying," he said in the same weak voice. I decided that the boy needed some persuading.

"Just tell me where he is," I said while taking a few steps forward, making him even more nervous than he already was, "and I won't punish you."

"What do you mean  _ punish _ ?" he asked warily.

I grinned, taking pleasure in his discomfort. "Maybe some spanking, hmm? Or maybe I should fuck you until you tell me, but then again for you that's more like pleasure, right?" Weasley swallowed hard and pulled his eyes away from me. I could see the blush creeping up his pale cheeks.

"He's in the library, in the back," he said quietly. I smiled at the frightened boy; the way he tried to avoid me was just too damn cute. Reminding myself that I needed to find Harry and speak to the spoiled brat, I thanked Weasley and pulled myself away from him. I hurriedly made my way to the library, getting there in no time with my quick pace. When I reached it I found Harry, just where Weasley said he would be.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Harry snapped when he first saw me standing in between the large bookshelves filled with dusty old books. I couldn't help to smile; he was just too cute where he sat on the floor with his nose in the big book.

"I've been looking for you," I said irritably, ignoring his rude greeting.

"Congratulations, you found me, now get out of my way." He closed the book he was reading and rose up from the dirty floor. "Move, or I'll hex you," he said when I hadn't made any attempt to move out of his path. I wasn't sure what to do: should I laugh at his pathetic threat? Or should I try to stop him first? It wasn't an easy choice, but I decided to try the latter.

"Why have you been avoiding me? Do you know how much time I spent looking for you?"

"Since we're not together then I don't really care. And because we're not a couple there isn't any point in us talking either, is there?" There was something in his voice that made me sad. I hadn't thought about it before before because I didn't care much about what Harry wanted, but now I could clearly see that he was hurt. Of course I knew why, I'm not stupid, but I thought Harry of all people would have behaved a little more grown up and realized that I can't help being such an emotionless jerk. I wanted to say something to the hurting boy but he cut me off by pointing his wand directly at me. The smart thing to do would be to move out of his way, but my decision changed when Harry's emerald green eyes burned into me. I knew that my refusal to move wouldn't stop Harry, so, when he pushed me out of the way, I spoke loud enough for the other students to realize something was going on in the back of the library.

"I want you back." I would have preferred to have taken my time in getting to my main reason of being here, but I had to tell him the truth now, whether he wanted to hear it or not. I'd played this scenario through my mind several times, and every time I imagined him walking away from me, not looking back. But instead he stood still for a few seconds before he finally turned around and faced me. For a short second I thought that he would actually start moving towards me, jump into my arms and kiss me, but, of course, I wasn't so lucky.

"You want me back?" he croaked. "After what you put me through you think you only need to tell me you want me back, and then I'll say yes? What do you take me for? One of your dumb sluts?"

"Shut up, Harry, if you weren't spending all this time running away from me you would be able to see that I really want you back," I explained, not that it worked magic on Harry. He was still as stubborn as always.

"Yeah right, it's my fault." He let out a nervous laugh while balancing on each of his heels. "You only want me because you don't have me, and as soon as you've had me again you will leave me,  _ again _ , so I don't think so, Blaise."

"Harry, come here," I ordered, ignoring his rude response. I didn't expect Harry to come any closer, but I was glad when he didn't move further away from me; I took that as a good sign. "I discussed our relationship with the headmaster, and he suggested I should ask you what you want from a relationship, because maybe my idea of a relationship isn't quite right."

"You think?" I didn't respond to Harry's comment, not because I didn't want to, but because I knew that, if I wasn't holding myself back, I would have walked over and slapped the little Gryffindor golden boy. I just didn't want to start another fight between us.

"I'll admit that I was wrong, but that's why I need to talk to you, so I can get your version of a relationship."

"It's too late for that Blaise," he said softly. It looked like he wanted to continue but instead he turned around and made to leave. Being denied by Harry made my heart ache; I hadn't thought that it would hurt so much. If I didn't care enough I would have just let him leave, but then again, if I didn't care enough I wouldn't have spent days looking for him. He had only taken three steps away from me before I ran over to him and grabbed his wrist, turned him around to face me and then with a hard tug I pulled him into my chest. I wrapped my arms around his slim waist and locked my fingers together to keep him from escaping. Having him so close made me warm all over, but I had things to do so I shook my head and continued with my so-called plan. Luckily for me he didn't shout, which made my next step much easier.

"I want you, Harry," I whispered. "If you leave me I'll find the Dark Lord and beg him to kill me. I... I don't think I can live without you." Everything I said shocked Harry. Heck, I even shocked myself at my openness, but still it didn't convince Harry who was staring at me with his mouth half open. That was when I decided that, before he could reject me again, I should at least get something as a last gift from him, so I pressed my lips against his half-open lips, pulling his body closer to mine until I was sure nothing or no one could tear us apart. After a few seconds I thought Harry had finally melted in my arms, but then he began to push me away, breaking the kiss. I could have kept him there but I couldn't make myself do something he clearly didn't want to do.

"I'm sick of your games, one day you want me and the next you want to be single," he hissed at me, eyes glowing and cheeks pink.

"I want us to be a couple."

Harry opened his mouth to protest, but nothing escaped his sweet lips.

"What?" he finally managed to say, I took that response as an invitation and kissed him again. When our lips parted the second time I was glad to see his eyes were still closed.

"I want us to be together," I repeated. It was too early, I knew that when I said it I wasn't ready for such a big step, but I couldn't let Harry walk away from me again.

"Are you sure?" he whispered. His eyes opened slowly and they burned into mine.

I should have told him I wasn't quite sure, but seeing his hope made me feel bad for even doubting us. "Yes." Harry smiled broadly and kissed me several times before he gave me one of the longest hugs I have ever had. I decided that even if I didn't feel ready I would try my best to please Harry. After all, I was the one who initiated the relationship again.

-o-

I should have known that as soon as one student saw us the whole school would know we were together. Even though it bothered me that they now knew even more gossip about me, I convinced myself I was fine with it, but only because it was for Harry. Luckily for me every thought of doubt left me when I saw how happy Harry was. Every time he kissed me sweetly, or just smiled at me lovingly my heartfelt warmer and my head felt lighter. And those feelings scared me, because I didn't know I was capable of loving someone so much.

"How is it possible that Potter has managed tamed you?" Pansy asked the next day after recovering from the shocking news.

"He hasn't tamed me," I responded casually, ignoring her gasp of shock.

"You mean... you're going to continue fucking others?"

"No, Panse," I said with a sign. I knew she wouldn't understand. "I won't fuck anyone else, but... he hasn't tamed me."

"Taming doesn't mean settling down and having a house, job or a family you know," she pointed out. I wanted to hit her for giving me more things to worry about than before. But she was right; taming was not the same as settling down, but I still didn't like the idea of being tamed like some disobedient puppy.

"Nonetheless, he still hasn't tamed me. I just chose to change," I said haughtily. Pansy began to laugh at me, something I really didn't appreciate, especially since she was one of my best friends. "If you don't stop with this ridiculous behaviour soon I'll leave you, and once we're done with Hogwarts I'll never speak to you ever again."

"Oh come on Blaise, you can't get upset with me," she said once she had managed to gain some control over her laughs. "If you want to be with Potter then I'm fine with it. Of course  _ I _ will still hate him, but I will accept anything you want."

"Thanks," I said, hoping she would stop speaking, which of course she wouldn't.

"You should be proud of yourself, you know," she continued. "How many can say they have been with  _ The _ Harry Potter? Based on what I've heard he's never gone further than a kiss. Well, since before he met you." There was something in her voice that made me realize she was heading for something that would annoy me tremendously. "So how was he?" And there it was. I told her I would never talk about my experience with others, and she agreed to never ask, so it wasn't any surprise for either of us what my next answer was.

"That is for me to know and for you to never find out."

"You tease!" she squeaked, playfully punching my arm. "At least I know that he must be pretty good. You would never be with someone you didn't find interesting." At that moment I decided that we had spent too much time together. "And based on his athletic skills I would say he can last a long time... Ooh, but then again, considering his lack of...  _ previous experience  _ I would say that he can't last long, if you catch my drift." Things were beginning to get out of hand, which made me think seriously about breaking all connections with her. "Ah, but maybe he lasts longer because now you're in the picture. Should I continue or will you tell me how he really is?"

"If you continue I'll make sure you will never be able to hear, see or speak about such things, ever again." The threat wasn't for real, and it wasn't even the first time I had used it, but it seemed to always work, which made me happy.

"Mister Grumpy," she said with a laugh hiding behind her words. "So have you thought about what you want to do after school?" I looked over at her and nodded, happy that she finally decided to let Harry go and discuss something else, and more important.


	25. Chapter 25

I discovered reasonably early on that holding hands, feeding each other and kissing in public was not something Harry and I were capable of doing. Luckily I didn't mind, because I, myself, hate it when I walk by a couple that do such sickly sweet things in front of everyone. Me and Harry, though, we preferred to hide from everyone else in the alcoves in the corridors to make out, and sometimes, if there was enough time, we'd have a go at oral sex. In fact, quite a few times we had managed to actually have a quick shag.

Once Harry was sure it was a real relationship, his mood changed and he had been nothing but a good boyfriend; so if he is so good then why do I feel the urge to fuck someone else? The school would be over soon, and I hadn't cheated on Harry since we became an official couple, but I knew that I would have to do something soon or else I would lose my mind. Harry kept asking me if I was happy and if I cared for him. At first it was true, but as time passed I had to lie to him. I know I'm a bastard, but how can I ignore who I really am? How can I only stay with Harry when I feel trapped?

Soon enough the school ended and we were free to do practically anything. However, before we could spend the summer doing whatever we wanted, both of us had to go to court against the Weasley bitch; we sat together and waited for our turn to tell them the truth. After two weeks they had finally decided that she was guilty, but instead of sending her to Azkaban they decided to send her to a French convict that could help mentally ill patients. Even though I had hoped for Azkaban I was happy she would finally leave us alone.

I thought that once the case against Weasley was over we would finally have some time to spend together before I would begin my apprenticeship. I had finally reached my goal and gotten a job in the department for magical creatures, but not the one in England; I had set my goals much higher, so now I'm working in the international department. But my hope for a long and passionate vacation together was shortened when Harry had to leave on 'missions' as he called them. I understand that he needs to go out and do his best to end the war, but that shouldn't mean never seeing me. The least he could do was to give me a weekend.

When I realized that things between us wouldn't change any-time soon I decided to make the best out of my life, so the first thing I had to do was to go out to a club where I could meet someone that would at least give me seven hours without suddenly disappearing.

The first man I met was a refreshment, and I must admit that it woke up a hunger in me that I didn't know was so strong. So every damn day Harry was out on his missions, so I would get dressed and go out myself, meeting someone new that could give me something Harry didn't have the time for.

I thought things would stay like that; Harry would be gone for hours each day, sometimes even multiple days, I would go out to a club and hook up with someone new and then we would both meet up again, but not even that was meant to be. Two weeks before the summer holiday was over, Harry came back to me looking thoroughly miserable; I knew at once that it wasn't a good thing so I embraced myself for the worst.

"I have to leave," he said. I didn't look at him.

"When you will back?" I asked him stiffly, knowing that it might be never.

"I don't know."

I thought that because I didn't want to be stuck with him it would be easier to let him go, but the thought of never seeing him again hurt.

The last thing he did before he stepped out the door was give me a big hug, kiss me one last time and tell me he still loved me.

I continued to sit in the same position an hour after Harry was gone, never looking at the door in fear I would break down by the thought that the door handle was the last thing he touched.

Finally, once I'd mustered up the strength, I walked over to the liquor cabinet, where I poured myself a glass of vintage whiskey that Harry had bought for me before he began to disappear. I knew that alcohol wouldn't solve my problems, but that didn't stop me from taking the whole bottle with me over to the bedroom. When I finally woke up the next morning I decided that I needed something new, but not a bottle, not even a new affair. I needed to work.

After I spent an hour almost begging my new boss to let me start two weeks earlier, I went straight to work. Every day I stayed longer and worked harder than I needed to. By the end of the next month I had been promoted once, and by November I received another promotion. Working hard did take my mind off of Harry, which was the reason for why I worked my butt off for them.

But work wasn't the only thing I spent my time on. Every weekend I would put my best clothes on and head out to find someone new I could use for one night.

Soon after my second promotion I realized that, even though it still hurt to think about Harry leaving me, I was mostly over him. After all, I had managed to create a life for myself that I was proud over, a life where I didn't need to worry about others, but myself. And the second promotion allowed me to travel around the world, which again gave me the ability to find new men and women outside of England. And that was how I made my time pass: work, sex and work.

Christmas came and I spent it at home with my mother, who yet again had invited someone new. Normally I wouldn't care; I always thought that the men were stupid for falling in love with her, but after experiencing what I thought was love I felt sad for them. After the celebration I excused myself and went back home to my own apartment. Feeling utterly depressed, I found a bottle of vodka and lay down in my bed, a habit I have adopted over the last few months. But unlike an alcoholic, I put the bottle down when it became too much for me and went to sleep, only to wake up the next morning feeling sick.

I know I am pathetic, sitting in my bed and drinking because my boyfriend left me; based on the rumours he was fighting the Dark Lord. Even if he was out saving the world it didn't weaken my hatred for his actions, why would he want us to be together and then leaving me.

Another month passed and it was February, slowly my mood changed and I became a happier man. I finally thought that my life would finally get back on track so I could live it the way I had planned to before, but then Harry came back into my life.

I was out of the country when I heard the news; the Dark Lord had finally fallen. I guess being a Slytherin gave me a few points in the Dark Lords circle, as well as being pure-blood, and that might be why I haven't really been involved in the war as others might be. I was lucky enough to live my life the way I wanted. But the news did reach me, and even though I had managed to stay neutral during the war, I couldn't help but feel happy for the freedom that had been fought for, and won. Mother sent me an invitation for a victory party, which I had to decline because of work.

I couldn't leave Germany before I had finished the rest of my assignment, which didn't matter for me because I had nothing back home. At least in Germany I had a chance to hook up with a new man, and I couldn't leave before I had taken him. On my last day in Germany I took him out to dinner before we went clubbing, and then we headed to my hotel room. As soon as we'd entered my room we began kissing, and clothes disappeared quickly before we both laid down on the sofa, still kissing like there was no tomorrow.

"Blaise?" I thought I was hearing Harry's voice in my head again so I didn't react, but Hans proved me wrong. When we were both sitting up I searched the room for the source of the voice, but because it was so dark I couldn't see anything. Harry must have known because he turned on the lights soon after, which I soon wished he hadn't, because seeing his face when he saw my date broke my heart.

"Harry, what are you doing here?" I asked, trying to remain calm. Hans looked at Harry a few seconds before he got up from the sofa and gathered his clothes.

"I think I'll leave," he said with a German accent;  _ at least he wasn't stupid _ .

Not a word was spoken between any of us until after Hans had closed the door behind him. At first I thought Harry would answer my question but when he didn't show any sign that he would say anything I asked him again.

"What are you doing here, Harry?"

"I wanted see you again, it's been so long since the last time." I could hear the sorrow behind his words.

"But it's over between us Harry." I could see that he was confused, which confused me as well. I thought that he broke it off with me when he left me, but apparently he didn't think the same.

"I would never do that," he implored softly. If I wasn't confused before I sure was now; Harry had been gone for months and hadn't told me where he was. Normally that was considered as a breakup, but apparently Harry didn't think so at all, which put me in a difficult position.

"When you're gone for months without a single word you can't expect me to wait for you, Harry," I said coldly, surprised at how easy it was to tell him what I thought.

"I guess I shouldn't have thought that you were different because you'd finally decided to stay with me." Harry's face was expressionless, but his eyes told a different story. However, his last comment had angered me that I forgot about the misery behind his eyes.

"Of course, I'm the one that destroyed our relationship," I started cynically. "You didn't do a thing to drive me away, did you? While we were living together I was the one who was gone for hours each day without telling you where I went, or when I would be back, wasn't I? And I suppose I was the one who didn't tell you what was happening, and in the end I was the one who'd decided to leave without telling you where I would go and what I was doing."

"I couldn't tell you, Blaise, I didn't want to put you in danger," Harry said firmly.

"You could at least tell me you would be going after the bloody Dark Lord, Harry! Or did you think that piece of information would get me killed?"

Harry looked outraged. "You weren't that much better, Blaise, sneaking around and flirting with guys and girls in the open." I narrowed my eyes at this, and he elaborated. "That's right, you were seen." It did come as a shock to me that Harry knew, but since he didn't accuse me for more than flirting I supposed he didn't know about me fucking them. Either way, I wasn't going to tell him.

"That's because you ignored me, Harry," I reasoned. Harry looked as though he was about to say something else, but instead he closed his mouth and looked down at the floor. After another moment or two he looked up at me.

"I'm going back home," he said shortly. "If you decide you want to be with me then you have until tomorrow at lunch. If you don't want to be with me then don't show up, and I'll take my things and leave you forever. I won't try to force you into something you don't want to do be in."

I knew I should say something, but I didn't want to ruin the moment between us, so I kept my mouth shut while Harry walked over to the fireplace and flooed back to our apartment.

As soon as he was gone I grabbed a pillow and threw it at the fireplace in ire. How Harry annoyed me sometimes! How could he just expect everything to be as it was before he left me without a single word?

I could feel the rage building inside me, and it told me to stay in Germany until Harry was completely gone, but then the other part of me, which ached to touch Harry, told me to go over at once and kiss him. But did I really want to put myself in the same position as before? Did I want to give Harry another chance to hurt me?

The decision was quite easy; I didn't want to be hurt again. So I grabbed a bottle of brandy and headed for the bed.


	26. Chapter 26

My mind was set on staying in Germany until Harry had left; that would be the easiest thing to do, but something inside of me pulled me towards the fireplace, and even if I tried to fight it I knew letting him go wouldn't work.

"Harry?" I called out when I finally reached our apartment.

There was no response. At first I thought I was late, but then I heard something in the bedroom, something soft and soothing; Harry was humming a song. Slowly I walked over to the bedroom and pushed open the door; Harry, who was relaxing on the bed, sat up and smiled.

"You came!" he screamed out hysterically. Before I had the chance to say or do anything, he'd literally jumped off the bed and attacked me with a big hug, followed by multiple kisses on my neck, cheek and mouth. I wanted to tell him the truth but decided against it, not that I thought I had the chance to say anything between Harry's kisses and hands that were caressing every part of me. Before I knew what was happening Harry pulled me towards the bed and let himself fall down while still holding me, pulling me down over him. "Take off your shirt," Harry said between his moans and gasps, I did as he ordered.

Before we knew it we were both naked in the bed, and it didn't take long before we found the jar with lube and began preparing each other. Of course Harry took more time to prepare since he, apparently, hadn't done anything since the last time we were together, while I on the other hand had been fucking around like a rabbit. Of course I wouldn't tell him, and he couldn't be that oblivious.

I wanted Harry to be the one to receive first, and as I slowly pushed my cock into him, I revelled in every gasp of pain and pleasure he made. Soon I was completely inside of him, and I slowly started to move out before I pushed my cock in again, making him squirm beneath me. The speed of my thrusts increased as I felt Harry relax, and when I reached my maximum speed I felt my balls prepare themselves for the orgasm that was soon to come. Just as I was on the edge, I pulled out of Harry and squeezed my cock so I wouldn't come yet. When I was sure I would last a little longer, I lay down and Harry - who was already up - moved between my legs, and started to push his own cock inside of me before he moved in the same way I did. He started slowly at first but soon increased his speed, causing both of us to come almost at the same time.

When we were both done Harry pulled out of me and lay down next to me with one arm covering my chest, I could still remember how he liked to cuddle afterwards so I didn't say anything, even if I wanted to pull away and take a shower. Soon we were both relaxed, and even if it wasn't intended we both fell asleep.

I woke later that evening to find that it was still dark outside, but light enough that I didn't have to turn on any lights to make my way around the apartment. Silently I made my way over to the shower and stood beneath the hot water, moaning when I realized what had just happened; I had come back to Harry. Even if I tried I wouldn't be able to leave him now. I care about him way too much to want to leave him forever. But even if I want to stay with him I could still feel the urge to want to go out and find some random guy or girl, flirt with them before going home with them and fucking their brains out. I know it's wrong to think that way, even if I haven't actually cheated yet, but I couldn't help it; I was addicted to the rush I got when I found someone new. I loved the flirting between me and a complete stranger who could react in so many unknown ways. I loved the hunt.

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard someone muttering something from the bedroom, a faint light came on and I realized Harry was up as well. I couldn't help but feel sad for Harry, who would never be able to have me all for himself. A few seconds after the light came on Harry entered the bathroom. He was naked with a sly smile planted on his lips.

"Thought you could take a shower without me?" he teased. I smiled back before moving so he could stand beneath the hot water. As soon as Harry was wet I grabbed him and gave him a long and passionate kiss, that quickly turned itself into something more with me kneeling on the wet tiles, giving Harry, what I knew had to be, an amazing blow job. As soon as we were both washed we walked back into the bedroom again, kissing each other until we both landed on the bed. Then it was Harry's time to give me a blow job, not that I required one.

At the end of the day, we had both come three times each. Happy and exhausted we went to bed to sleep the second time that day, Harry with his arms wrapped around me. I could hear his breath slowing down and I knew he had fallen asleep within a few seconds. I managed to break myself out from his embrace so I could turn around and watch him sleep, pathetic but sometimes I need to do such stupid things. A candle was still burning in the room, which gave me the opportunity to study Harry. He hadn't changed that much since the last time we saw each other; his hair was still messy and out of control, and his scar was still visible beneath the heavy, dark bangs. It might be the light but I thought I could see a few scars that crossed his skin. Of course I vaguely knew what they were caused by, but yet I still found myself wanting to know the whole story behind them. However, I supposed that would have to wait till the morning seeing as Harry probably wouldn't appreciate being woken up just so he could retell his adventures with the Mudblood and the Weasel. Placing a hand over his, I closed my eyes and tried to clear my mind from from every thought that could destroy my attempt from sleeping, but try as I might, I was still haunted by thoughts of betrayal, thoughts of other men's torsos and and girls breasts, thoughts of me doing sexual things to those strangers bodies. Finally, though, after all those thoughts and feelings, I somehow managed to fall into a dreamless sleep.

The first week of us together passed without many problems, setting up a system that worked for both of us took a little trial an failure, but by the end of that week we'd both started working well around each other. The only thing that changed was my job's location, three days after our reunion I left to go to Egypt because of some problem that was caused by a dragon. I was only gone for twelve hours but that still gave me enough time to find someone and fuck them, it was wrong but I couldn't control myself when the boy practically threw himself at me. Harry of course never knew about my affair, and I wasn't planning to tell him since I didn't want to lose him.

"Do you think we can ever become anything more than lovers?" Harry asked one day after sex. I really wanted to pretend that I didn't hear him but that wouldn't stop him from asking again. Sighing, I sat up and looked down at him, trying to come up with an answer that wouldn't destroy what we already had together.

"There is a small chance that we can end up in a really long relationship, but because I can't see the future I don't really know Harry," I was pleased with my answer but Harry wasn't. As soon as I'd finished, he sat up and stared at me before asking another ridiculous question.

"Do you care about me?"

I scoffed. "What a silly question to ask a man that came back to you, Harry."

"Please answer me," he begged quietly.

I stared at him a second or two before answering. "Yes, I care about you. A lot apparently, because I find myself putting up a fight to that stupid question."

"I love you," he said, seemingly out of the blue.

When I heard those three words come out of his mouth I wanted to run. Of course, I've had various other lovers who insisted they loved me, but not in the same way as Harry. They'd said it after spending a night with me, which would undoubtedly have been something to remember. As soon as I was over the shock of Harry telling me that he loved me, I feared I would have to say it back, but luckily for me Harry continued to talk, which meant he wasn't expecting me to respond.

"Do you want to eat outside today?" he asked weakly, as though trying to cover up his previous outburst. "I feel like eating something prepared by a stranger."

I smiled as I realised Harry was probably trying to ease the tension for me. I sat closer to him, ran my fingers through his unruly locks before agreeing.

-o-

By the end of the third month we were together I had only slept with four strangers. It was a pretty low number when I thought back to the last part of our relationship before Harry had to leave me, where I had at least four strangers a week. Maybe the number was so low now because I had sex with Harry at least two times a day, therefore my sexual needs were taken care of. But just because those needs were cared for, didn't mean that my mind stopped fantasizing about other people. After trying to hold back my insane addiction, I finally cracked; I lied to Harry, telling him I had to go out on a nightly mission to Denmark. He didn't question me, only made me promise to come back as soon as I was done.

The first place I went after I left Harry was a crowded club. If anyone had the desire to disappear in the crowd, then that was definitely the right place to go. Without hesitation, I set my eyes on a man that looked like he was out for a little fun. Not long after our eyes met for the first time, we began flirting; I constantly told him how sexy he was the way he was moving to the music, and how much I wanted to fuck him. The boy - who introduced himself as Michael - soaked up all the praise like his life depended on it. After a quarter of an hour or so in the club, where I constantly begged him to take me with him to his apartment, he agreed, and we pushed our way out of the crowded club. As soon as we were outside in a dark part of the street I kissed him, giving him a taste of what was soon to come.

"Brace yourself," he said, and I smiled, knowing he would apparate us straight over to his home. Once we were inside, I took a second to familiarize myself with the surroundings. The whole apartment oozed 'bachelor'; none of the furniture felt inviting at all. Sniffing at the tacky main room, I focused all of my attention onto Michael and asked him, in my most sensual voice, where the bedroom was. Michael hadn't noticed my disdain for his choice of design, or if he had then he didn't care. As soon as I received his directions to the bedroom, I made my way over to it, opening my shirt as I went. Michael soon followed.

"Get on the bed," I ordered briskly.

Michael smirked. "As you command, Master," he responded, while he let himself fall down onto the bed, lifting his hands above his head as though they were tied together with invisible rope. At the submissive position, I realised at once what he had in mind; my time with Michael would be well spent, no fuzzing around with getting to know each other, just pure, unadulterated sex.

I crawled above him and smirked, before reaching for my wand and fulfilling his wish of being tied up.

-o-

I had Michael tied up for over three hours. Over that time I had come twice, but Michael none, though that was all down to my wishes. I gave him water to drink in case he was dehydrated and set the bonds to release him in an hour. Before I left I told him I might look him up the next time I was searching for some fun.

I felt quite relaxed when I stepped into my own apartment. Unlike the one I had left, this was warm, and it had colours and shapes that invited me to sit down and relax. When I sat down I placed my feet high up on the table, and, when I found the right angle, I closed my eyes and rested my hands on my stomach. I wondered for a second where Harry was until I remembered it was late at night and he was probably sleeping. Since I didn't want to go to bed smelling like I did I decided to go and shower first.

I had just turned on the hot water and soaped my torso when the bathroom door opened and Harry walked in. Because the glass doors were charmed not to fog I could see he wasn't in a good mood; his eyes were burning into me and he was waiting impatiently for me to stop the shower. Deciding to do as he silently commanded, I turned off the shower and opened the glass door that had separated us.

"How did it go in Denmark?" he asked stiffly. I wasn't fooled by his question and knew at once that he must have known something, or felt betrayed for some reason.

"It wasn't how I imagined, but it was fine," I responded casually.

"Yeah? Well, I must really suck in geography because I didn't think that Denmark was the gay club down in central London," he spat. I knew better than to deny it; he was either there and saw me, or had someone else following me.

"So I'm not allowed to go out and have some fun?" I asked, folding my arms.

Harry ran a hand through his hair in frustration. "If you wanted to go clubbing you should have just told me, Blaise. Don't lie to me about going somewhere else when you're just going out to dance." For a second I thought that was everything he knew, that he might not know about Michael... "I don't have a problem with that, but I do have a problem with lying, cheating bastards like you. I could forgive you for lying about where you were going, but not when I know that you went home with some random bloke!" Harry was shouting now. I figured that whatever I said wouldn't change his mind so I kept quiet. "I was ready to leave this apartment when I heard about you, but I think it's your turn to leave." When Harry was done he waited a few seconds before turning around and leaving the bathroom; maybe he'd thought I would deny everything. Wrapping a towel round my bottom half, I walked into the bedroom where Harry was laying in the bed. He'd stacked several pillows on top of each other, forming a line down the middle of the bed to seperate us. At least he wasn't expecting me to sleep on the sofa.

"I should never have come back to you after your disappearing number, but I did, Harry," I said coldly. "I decided to give you a chance. But unlike you, I had no idea what I was getting into while you were away. I knew that you would eventually have to fight the Dark Lord but I had no idea you would leave me without even telling me if you would be back. At least you knew what I would be doing back here, but what did I know about you? Nothing. You could have been killed and I wouldn't have known! At least you knew I would be fucking others." I paused, a thought popping into my head. "Yet still you wanted to stay with me." I hadn't really thought about what I was going to say but I knew I didn't care about the outcome; if Harry wanted this to end then I would be the one standing.

"So this guy isn't the first one?" Harry asked indifferently. For a second I thought he was acting stupid on purpose, but, luckily, I quickly realized he didn't know about any of my previous lovers.

"No," I said bluntly. Since he wanted me gone then he should at least know the truth. "Including tonight, I've had four since being back together with you. I've lost count of how many I was with during the time you were away. Even before you left I had found multiple wizards and witches to spend the night with." Harry looked like he was being tugged back and forth between pain and anger. "It's not that I didn't try and stop, Harry. I just couldn't ignore the need to find someone new and fuck them."

"I had no idea that our relationship really meant that little to you," he said quietly, "but I guess it's stupid of me to think that you might change for me."

"Why should I, Harry? Yes, I care about you, but do you honestly think I'm capable of the mushy love that your friends seem to obtain so easily?"

"Why not?" he bit back defensively.

"Because," I began, only to find out that I didn't really have any real reason. So I tried my charming technique. "Because I'm not as good as you Harry. I am a Slytherin, after all."

"That is no excuse, and I don't care about that!" Harry exclaimed. "I care about  _ you _ ."

At this comment I knew he would never stop thinking that we could have a future together as long as he thought I still cared for him.

"I never intended for something this big to happen," I said, letting out some issues I'd thought I'd buried and forgotten about, deep within my mind. "I only wanted a quick fuck from you. You were just a prize." Even  _ I _ winced at my cruel words, and I thought that maybe Harry would  _ finally _ stop thinking the way he did once I told him it hadn't meant anything, but I was wrong again.

"But you still came back to me! Not only now, but at school as well! I know that you want to be with me." His tone, although loud, sounded unsure.

"You're so stupid, Harry," I breathed. "Why the hell do you destroy yourself with these foolish thoughts? I only wanted fuck you, that's the real story. I came back because, strangely enough, I wanted to see where this was going."

I was now pacing back and forth, trying to figure out what to tell him next. Should I continue to say hurtful things? Or should I try and tell him that he was better than me? It wasn't an easy decision, but in the end I decided to treat him well. "You deserve someone who will stay faithful, you deserve someone who can love you until death and beyond, you deserve someone who is better than me. I won't be able to stay faithful, and believe me, I've tried, but when there is an opportunity I grab it. And the times I do remain faithful get me so worked up and stressed that, usually, I end up going out and searching for a shag." Harry didn't say anything. I thought that by this time he would be throwing objects at me, or at least shouting about how disappointed he was, or maybe even cry from the betrayal. So I continued. "You only want to be with me because I was your First. I'm sure that if someone else beat me to it, you would have fallen in love with them instead." It was the last thing I planned to say, but maybe it was this that would make him see that whatever we have is fake.

"If you wish I'll leave tonight. I don't want to cause you more sorrow." I went back into the bathroom to clean myself up, I would finish my shower somewhere else. When I re-entered the bedroom, fully-dressed and decent, I saw that Harry was gone. For a second I thought he had fled the apartment, then realised that he was probably sitting on the sofa with a glass filled with an alcoholic substance in his hand, and I was right. Harry didn't look up at me even when I stood besides him. Because I didn't want to destroy the  _ progression  _ I was making, I decided to say nothing that could make him want to  _ fight  _ for my affection.

"I'll come back tomorrow to gather my things." That was the last thing I said to him before I left him in peace, hoping he would recover from my betrayal, because the last thing I wanted was to cause him long-term, severe depression.

It was late at night, and instead of bothering a friend I decided to check into a hotel; a hot bath and a nice and comfortable bed would surely clear my mind.

The bath itself was relaxing, but not helpful. Not only had I failed to get Harry out of my mind, but now I was beginning to regret my decision to release him from me. I know it wouldn't be fair to keep him since I couldn't stop fucking others; Harry deserved more than that. Maybe if I'd told him earlier on then he would be able to help me. There was, after all, ways to cure such things. Deciding to think of it as wishful thinking I pushed it out of my mind. I'm not of the monogamy type; Harry wouldn't be able to hold me for himself.

Closing my eyes I tried to think of something completely different, but ended up pondering why everything was happening me. Why was I the first boyfriend of Harry Potter? Why was I the one going after him? And why couldn't I be happy with him alone? Harry was a good match in bed, and yet still I craved to fuck strangers. There was another thing that I couldn't ignore, too; why was it that Harry was the one I ran after? Why him? He wasn't really of any importance, besides the fact that he was Harry Potter, the saviour of the wizard world, the Chosen One. But why was he important  _ to me _ ? I admit that his titles did give me a little extra push, but the titles alone aren't enough for me to wish to stay with anyone.

As much as I pondered on everything, I realized that there wasn't any real answer. Harry was the one I wanted because he was Harry; he was different from everyone else, but in a good way. Even after what happened at school Harry still wanted to be with me, and he still believed I was a good guy. I could see the innocence in him when I realized he had no idea I had been cheating on him.

But he wasn't that innocent; I had to remind myself that he had fought the Dark Lord, and won, so surely he must have done something that couldn't be labelled as innocent.

My life had changed and turned into something strange, but not so much that I hated it.

Assuring myself that the end of our relationship was for the best I decided to get some rest. I got out of the bath, into bed, and closed my eyes, forcing myself to think of nothing. In the end I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I remembered was waking up in a sun filled room.


	27. Chapter 27

While I was with Harry I had been haunted by his celebrity status, it never really bothered me since I completely ignored it but once in a while I did get questions from random strangers. I thought that now that we were both officially broken up I would be released from the fame that haunted Harry, but it grew only worse. Somehow the Daily Prophet found out what really happened, and blew it out of proportion. And, while nobody really came over and slapped me in the middle of the street, I could see that some strangers desperately wanted to assault me.

When I went back to get the last of my stuff Harry was gone; I couldn't blame him since I would probably have done the same thing, but because he was the longest relationship I'd ever had, as well as the only, I felt like there should be some sort of closure. Luckily my better judgement kept me from writing a note to Harry, telling him how sorry I am and that I hope he will have a nice life without me. A note to Harry might cause more problems, so as quickly as I could I gathered all my things and left. Confused and annoyed I went back to my hotel room, deciding that the hotel was just as good as any other place, there was even a maid cleaning up after me.

I continued to go back to work, and with Harry out of my way - and mind - I found I could work harder without needing to take break to relax. I knew that the way I was working was a golden way to self destruction, but being by myself I only had myself to think about, and I wanted wealth. I knew that at one point I needed a break, but I had no idea how fast it would actually come. The strangest thing was of course that I wasn't the one who asked for a vacation. No, instead my boss came over to me one day and told me he would offer me another raise if I took a month off, and to make sure I agreed he threatened to give me a desk job again. Knowing I didn't really have a chance of talking my way out of it I agreed; at least I reached the next level.

But as soon as I went back to the hotel I discovered that a month was a long time. _ What on earth was I supposed to do in a month? _ Of course I would manage, but a month without the work I had pledged my life to was still a lot. Luckily for me I did have other interests that I could spend all of my free time on.

The first night I went out I realized that I had missed out a lot; the last time I had been out was the night I confessed everything to Harry, and that was four months ago. But I was a fast learner so it didn't take me long before I was back in the game.

I pushed my way through dancing wizards and witches on my way over to the bar. I'd just entered from the cold autumn wind outside and I needed something that would warm me from the inside. As soon as my drink was safe in my hand I turned around and scouted for a possible candidate I maybe could have a little fun with. There was more than one person was staring at me; it made happy to know that my looks were still appreciated. But none of the ones who were staring really caught my attention; years of practising gave me the power to pick the best option for that evening.

I finally found my target; he was wearing a green shirt and black leather pants. The boy, who seemed to be around my age, had golden hair and his skin was pale, but luckily not sickly pale. At that moment he was being shared between a witch and a wizard, who were clearly enjoying running their hands over his body. All three of them were moving slower than the music, allowing everybody to look at them and get envious. I didn't move, instead I slowly continued to sip at my drink while watching the sexual show right in front of me; if I didn't know better I would say that they were all trying to make everyone jealous.

When I'd finished my drink, I rested the glass on the bar disk and walked down to the threesome in a hypnotized state, never taking my eyes of the golden haired beauty. I stopped a few steps away from them, not wanting to push myself in-between since I certainly wouldn't be thanked, not that I minded it that much, especially not since he stared back at me a few times, acknowledging my presence. Knowing that he knew I was there I rested my body against one of the pillars that were right beside me. I continued to watch him for another five minutes while he and the other two continued to make everyone else jealous and hard. Only when the third song started did something happen to the trio. The golden haired boy finally looked at me for more than two seconds, and then slowly he began moving towards me. The other two looked disappointed but decided not to say anything, instead they continued to dance together.

The golden boy walked straight over to me and smiled before he began to massage my chest with his feminine hands; I bit my lip so I wouldn't groan to the little attention I was receiving from the beauty.

"My name is Damien," he whispered in my ear when he was pressing his chest against me, making sure that when he pushed himself off his cock would grind against mine. I didn't say anything towards him since I really didn't care to let him know who I was, not yet at least.

It didn't take long before I knew I had to stop him; if he continued the way he did with me - someone who hasn't had any sexual interaction in months - I wouldn't be able to last long.

"Want to come back to my place?" I asked him before he had a chance to object to my previous actions. Happy that I wasn't rejecting him he nodded, and quickly after that we were both heading for the exit. As we were both leaving I could hear moans of despair as the others realized the show was over, but I guess I would be just as angry if someone else had the chance to take Damien with them,

I couldn't get out of the club quickly enough, but Damien seemed to have other plans. Slowly he walked past horny girls and boys, making them wish they were me when Damien eyed all of them with what I would only describe as a sex look. I could only roll my eyes at the boy; he was vainer than I was, and even if it didn't bother me I did mind the delay to get him to bed.

Luckily he managed to walk past everyone who was waiting in line and we could finally apparate, or so I thought. Just as I was about to apparate away I heard a familiar voice behind me. The easiest thing would be to pretend I hadn't heard the witch, but I knew that if I ignored her I would receive an angry howler as soon as I got home.

"I should have guessed you would be out snatching up a new slut, Zabini."

I didn't mind being called names, but I knew that if I didn't defend my honour as well as my date I would probably end up alone that night.

"For your information,  _ Granger _ ," I spat, "this is the first one in four months, and I'm sure Damien is far from a slut." I didn't need to tell her how long it has been since Harry and I broke up, but it did make me feel better knowing I have been living in celibacy since then.

"Like I care," the Mudblood said scathingly. "Harry is at home, probably still mourning over you, but you don't care, do you? The only thing you care about is your cock." Weasley was standing behind her and gasped at her last word. I was shocked as well but couldn't let her see it since I wouldn't want to let her win.

"Aren't you going to stop her before she's made a complete fool of herself, Weasley?" I asked the red-head casually. "I doubt you'll be let in the club if they assume she's a troublemaker." The boy flushed when I stared at him but eventually moved forward and grabbed his girlfriend. "If it makes you feel better, Granger, I'll stop by tomorrow and check on him to make sure he hasn't killed himself."

"Don't bother, Zabini," she drawled. "That will only bring more pain to him. Harry is better off without you." At that point I chose to ignore her and attend to my date instead.

"If you wish to continue discussing this, Granger, stop by my place tomorrow for dinner." She seemed taken back by the invitation but decided to accept my offer. That was when Weasley decided to step in and calm her down some more. I took that as a sign and lead Damien away from the pair.

"I'm sorry you had to witness that," I murmured.

"What happened?" he asked. I was shocked he was interested to know, and even more so that I was answering him.

"Those two are the best friends of my recent ex boyfriend who I broke up with for a few months ago, it's nothing special."

"What happened between you two?" he continued. I really didn't want to speak to him about Harry because every time I thought about him my heart began to hurt, and that was a feeling I didn't enjoy at all.

"We sort of grew apart," I answered him, hoping it was the last question because I didn't want to go into details, especially not with a man I didn't know and would probably never see again. I grabbed his hand and was about to apparate us to the hotel when he stopped me again.

"One more question; you seem a little heartbroken, I just want to know if you cared for him."

"If I don't answer will you still come with me?" He shook his head, but I knew he wasn't as serious since he couldn't stop smiling.

"Yes, but everyone cares about someone at one point or another." Before he had the chance to open his mouth again I apparated us to my hotel room, feeling excited at the fact that I had a beautiful angel who I could do whatever I wanted with for the whole night.

But of course, after we landed in my hotel room he continued his interrogations, or so I thought.

"I can see that you cared." I really thought he was planning on asking more questions, but I was pleasantly surprised when he pulled me towards the sofa. "And I'm sorry I pushed you into answering, I only hope you will accept my apology." I was about to open my mouth to answer him when he pushed me so I fell down on the sofa. In no time at all he had manoeuvred himself between my legs and had opened my pants. I was shocked into silence by his actions, but my cock sprung into life at his attention.

"Do you accept my apology?" He was staring up at me while my cock was inches away from his face. I was still shocked and couldn't really talk, and just to make it even worse for me he grabbed the base of my cock, making me moan under his touch. Surprisingly I managed to growl out a faint  _ yes  _ between my moans, which was enough for him. Before I knew it my cock disappeared into Damien's talented mouth and I forgot everything around me.

I knew he was trying to bring me off, and that thought brought me out of the orgasmic state I was in; I didn't want to come before I'd had him at least once.

"Bedroom," I managed to say after I stopped him. His smile grew into a grin as he understood what I wanted. As soon as I managed to stand up I pulled him after me, leading us both into the bedroom where I ordered him to get undressed while I did the same. As soon as he was completely naked he threw himself on the bed and waited for me. It took me a little longer before I could get to him because I had to find the lubrication.

Quickly I found what I needed and settled myself in-between his legs.

"I hope you don't mind if I take the first round," I said, my voice gravelly with lust.

"I wouldn't want it any other way," he responded with a smile. I lay down above him and kissed him, and the kiss was soon followed by a finger entering him, making him moan into my mouth. I fucked him slowly with my finger before adding a second finger, scissoring him from time to time.

After I'd pushed the third finger inside of him and had stretched him adequately enough, I replaced my fingers with my cock, which Damien was more than happy to accept. Once my cock was inside Damien I couldn't help but moan in pleasure. I didn't think I'd forgotten how good it was to fuck someone, but suddenly it felt like a new experience. Slowly I moved my pelvis, enjoying every thrust as much as I could before Damien begged me to move faster; not wanting to disappoint the golden beauty I did as I was ordered. When I reached a speed he liked I thought I could continue until he came first. He suddenly began to clench his ass muscles while my cock was inside of him, shocking me in a good way. As soon as I realized I would be the one that would come first I tried my best to stay strong, but I had to give up because I doubted I was strong enough to ignore the contractions. Squirming out in orgasmic pleasure I grabbed his legs and squeezed him, not caring if I hurt him.

As my orgasm was slowly residing I finally opened my eyes. What I saw then shocked me more than seeing Bellatrix the day of my mother's wedding; Damien's golden hair was changing colour, stopping only when it had reached a deep, inky black, and his skin was slowly becoming more tanned. His face was the last thing that changed and that was what shocked me the most. Just before the transformation was complete I realized it was Harry laying underneath me.

I pushed myself away from Damien, or Harry, whoever it was, thinking it was all in my head. Only when I crashed into the dresser I realized it couldn't be an illusion.

"How do you feel, Blaise?" the boy asked in a mocking tone as he pushed himself up from the bed until he rested on his elbows. "Do you fuck all your sluts like this?" he continued. I was still not over the shock of finding out it was Harry all along and couldn't answer.

"What's the matter?" he simpered. "No lies this time?"

"What the hell, Harry!" I shouted at him, still flabbergasted he would do something like this. "What did you do?" I turned around to find something to cover myself with; it wasn't that I was embarrassed of standing naked in front of Harry, I just couldn't face him naked after what just happened.

"What? Didn't like it? I thought you loved to fuck strangers."

"Shut the  _ fuck _ up, Harry," I said shakily, while covering myself up with the bathrobe. "What on earth did you do this for? What did you think would come out of this?" When I looked at him again I realized that my anger wasn't only vented towards his actions, but also towards the fact that he was the one who ended our relationship four months ago, and now had the guts to come back and fuck with my head like this. However, even though I tried telling myself I was over him, I knew I still had deep feelings for him.

"I just wanted to fuck with you, Blaise, like you fucked with me," he said coldly.

"I didn't fuck with you," I said hastily.

"Oh come on, Blaise! You fucked with me good, making me believe that you cared for me because I was Harry... just Harry. Not the-boy-who-lived, the chosen one, or any other stupid title I unwillingly had. I guess I'm partly to blame because I fell for you, thinking you were different." I thought Harry sounded broken, but it didn't seem like he hated me the same way as he did the day he broke up with me so I couldn't be sure. "Guess what, Blaise, you're actually the best thing that ever happened to me; you made me realize that life can be good, even if I'm not in a relationship. Do you know what I did as soon as I realized that? I went out and found a virgin I could fuck." If I hadn't been shaken before, then I definitely was now. What he'd just told me shocked me more than I can say. _ This wasn't the Harry I knew. _

"Listen to yourself, Harry," I implored, "this isn't you."

"Oh shut up, Blaise," he snapped. "You don't know me, you never knew me, never took the time to find out about me; after all, I was just a prize."  _ How could Harry suddenly become such an asshole? _ I know I said some things I maybe shouldn't have, but that was because I cared about him. I'd had to let him go to save him from any more heartache I might have caused him.

"What I said to you wasn't meant in a bad way, Harry, I just wanted you to let go of me so that you could find your true love." I never believed in true love but I knew Harry did.  _ The boy believed in everything good. _ "You weren't a prize, at least not the way you think; I wanted you because you were strong, not because of your titles." Harry seemed startled but didn't say a word. "This isn't you, you're better than this, Harry."

"You might think you did me a favour, Blaise, but you were wrong." He stood up and walked over to his clothes, dressing himself quickly before he turned towards me. "I meant what I said, I care about you, more than you realize, even if you're in denial." And then, to shock me even more Harry suddenly changed his appearance. His black messy hair was replaced with long platinum blond waves, his skin was still tanned but his face turned into something that reminded me about Draco, skinny and pointy. Until then I thought he had used Polyjuice potion, I didn't know Harry was a metamorphmagus.

"I won't bother you anymore, and I hope you will do the same Blaise, this was just fun, I don't need or care for anything from you." Harry walked over to the bedroom door and was about to leave before he turned one last time towards me; it looked like he was about to say something important but he ended up only wishing me well before he disappeared.

When I was sure he had left the hotel room I fell down to my knees, still in shock from everything that had happened to me that night.  _ How was it that Harry could affect me that way? _ The strangest thing was that Harry seemed to care less about me than I cared about him.

I wanted to cry but couldn't find the tears.

I wanted to shout but my voice was still missing.

In the end the only thing I managed to do was think about Harry.

Ten minutes passed and I still hadn't moved from the floor. However, I was brought out of my dazed state when I realized something important; my feelings for Harry were obviously deeper than I'd previously thought. I might, quite possibly, be in love with him. Of course, fate would have it that I hadn't discovered this earlier. Clearly the gods of fate loved to play with me as well as punish me for my actions. I stood up from the floor and quickly got dressed; there was only one last thing to do now, and it couldn't wait. As soon as I was sure about what I wanted, I apparated over to Harry's apartment, glad that he hadn't added wards to keep me out, but when I got there I found it empty. I wasn't surprised; I didn't really expect Harry to just go home for a nap after that major turning point in our relationship - if it could be called that. The next place I apparated to was the club where I met Harry as Damien. I scoured the premises for the blond who'd left his apartment, but he wasn't there. Knowing Harry would probably have gone to another club to find someone else to have a little fun with I apparated to another club to search for him.

When I exited the fourth club I feared Harry had changed his appearance again. If he had done that then my search would have utterly pointless! However, that thought didn't keep me from continuing my search. I held onto the hope that Harry had remained as the blonde bombshell, Damien.

I was glad I didn't give up because, finally, I found Harry in the sixth club I entered. He was dancing, just like before, with more than one partner, rubbing himself up and down their bodies and flirting. Jealousy shot through my body and I had to fight the urge to find my wand and hex everybody in the room. Determined, I walked over to where Harry was dancing against a much older man. It took Harry approximately seven seconds before he finally realized I was standing behind him, but even after he saw me he continued like before while completely ignoring me.

"Harry," I called out while placing my hand on his shoulder. Just like I expected he brushed it off and continued to dance provocatively against this stranger. "Please, I really need to talk to you," I begged.

"He doesn't want to talk to you," one of the other men said when he realized I wasn't going to give up.

"Back off, I need to tell him something," I spat. This only seemed to enrage the stranger.

"If the boy wants to talk to you he'll let you know, but as you can see he is far too occupied with us." What annoyed me the most was the way he thought he was something special because Harry had decided to dance with them. I was about to open my mouth to say something else when the guy that threatened me before found his wand and pointed it at me. "One more word, Mister, and you'll never be able to talk again." Never had I wanted to hex a man so painfully before. His common use of the word 'Mister', along with the threat had riled me up worse than before, but I feared it would only end with me and him getting thrown outside.

"I just want to tell him one last thing before I leave," I said quietly. The man seemed like he was fighting his judgement, but in the end he agreed and lowered his wand.

"Make it short." I nodded towards him before I turned to Harry, who was still dancing but facing me.

"I love you," I said simply, before turning around and walking out of the club. I had finally discovered my true feelings and told Harry; it was his call now.

Thinking I might have a chance of Harry coming to find me, I didn't apparate straight away, which turned out to be a good thing.

"Did you mean it?" I heard someone shout behind me. I turned around and faced Harry, who was still a blond Draco clone.

"Yes," I said shortly, hoping I wouldn't break down in front of him; that most definitely wouldn't bode well now that I had finally managed to accept my feelings. There was a silence between us that I was far too afraid to break. I feared Harry would wake up and realize that he really didn't want to be with me anymore.

Harry looked as though he were battling with some troublesome thoughts inside his head; he was chewing on his bottom lip and his brow was furrowed.

"Do you want to try again?" he finally asked while turning back to his old self. I was so glad to be talking to the real Harry again; it was difficult, not to mention awkward, to talk to the blond.

I was more than shocked by his request; I couldn't quite believe he'd want to try again after everything we'd been through... but I wasn't about to turn that offer down just because of my confusion.

"For you, Harry, I'm willing to try anything," I said softly.

Harry smiled and walked over to me. "Good," he purred, "because I have something to show you." I was sure that he was going to kiss me when he reached me, but he shocked me further by turning into another blond man; this one wasn't the same as the second Damien, for his nose was pointier and his cheekbones were more defined. Plus he looked more mature than the other blond beauty.

"My name is Lucifer," the blonde man said huskily. His voice was deep and velvety, making my breath hitch; that voice alone made my cock twitch.

I had no idea what he was doing at first, until it hit me: he was playing another character, just like earlier when he was Damien. I took his offered hand dubiously and shook it, still feeling slightly edgy and startled, but happy nonetheless. "Would you like me to buy you a drink? Maybe later we can go back to my place," Harry murmured, all the while he was acting like a snobbish blond. That was when I realized that Harry would be able to keep my hands off of anyone else but him, especially if he continued changing character like he did.

"Lucifer," I began, getting into this sick and twisted, yet admittedly genius, mind game, "I wonder, are you related to the Malfoy's?"

Harry's grin couldn't have been any bigger right then. "Why yes, now you mention it; I'm Draco Malfoy's cousin."

"Oh? I didn't know he had one."

"Well, of course you wouldn't; Draco never talks about anyone other than himself, and especially not about anyone who has better looks than him." We both had a nice laugh before making our way back to the club, but right before we entered I stopped him.

"Change back for a moment, I want to kiss Harry." When he heard me say those last words he gave me one of the sweetest smiles before he turned into the boy I had fallen in love with. I grabbed his neck and pulled him towards me. I rested my forehead against his for a few seconds before pressing our lips together into a smashing kiss. When I released him and he managed to get his thoughts back he changed into Lucifer and leaded the way down to the bar.

When we were both done in the club we left for Harry's apartment, or at least that's where I thought we were going. Instead of the apartment we had once shared, he took me over to a house in the country.

"Where are we?" I asked.

"My home in Devon; I bought it six months ago." Which of course meant he'd bought it while we were still together, _ but why hadn't he told me? _

"Why didn't I know about this?"

"I don't know," he admitted, "but at least you know now." He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply, before opening his eyes and changing his personality back to Lucifer. "So, Mister Zabini, would you like a refreshment or should we go straight to the bedroom?"

"I think the bedroom should be just fine, Lucifer," I said slyly. The blond man grabbed my hand instantly and pulled me towards the stairs. In no time at all we found ourselves undressed and on the second floor in the bedroom. Like before with Damien, I ended up taking him first before he turned me around and fucked me. The whole night was spent with us either inside each other, or just simply cuddling. I could not express how happy I was with Harry right then, even if he was Lucifer.

In the morning I left and went home, but not before I told Harry to join me for dinner. Seeing as Granger was planning to join me, I thought having Harry there would get her to shut up, even if it was in shock.

And, just like I had presumed, Granger didn't find the words when she saw Harry tangled in my arms. She merely stared and stared until I - reluctantly - invited her to take a seat as I dished out the dinner.

During dinner things were awkward, to say the least. Hermione kept giving me odd glances, as well as staring imploringly at Harry, as though to ask,  _ Why? _

"Are you sure, Harry?" she asked for what seemed like the thousandth time that meal. Harry only nodded this time, especially after giving up trying to explain it to her.

"If," she began before stopping herself. She looked at me nervously before continuing. "If he is forcing you in any kind of way you need to tell me, Harry." I could feel my rage as I heard her accuse me of brainwashing him in some sick, twisted way.

"Don't worry, 'Mione, he hasn't done anything to me. I'm the one that messed with him." She looked confused but didn't say anything; instead her eyes flickered between me and Harry, who was smiling softly at me. He then turned back to Granger. "You remember the boy you saw Blaise with yesterday?" She nodded slowly, still unsure what to say or think, and probably wondering where this was going. Luckily for me she was even more shocked when she saw Harry change into the man she had seen the previous night, but the silence didn't last long.

"You knew I called Harry a slut and didn't stop me, Zabini?" she hissed. I thought she would be shocked at Harry's metamorphmagus powers but that didn't surprise her at all.

"Hermione," Harry interrupted her, "Blaise had no idea it was me, he thought he was bringing a boy called Damien home." At least she seemed to be more at ease now that Harry explained everything to her. "I have accepted that Blaise needs someone new once in a while and -"

"If you let that bastard get away with cheating on you, I'm personally going to drag you to St. Mungos, Harry," the girl said in a sharp tone.

Harry only laughed. "Yesterday, after Blaise discovered who Damien was, I left. Later that night Blaise found a new guy, Lucifer." Granger held her chest as Harry changed into the blond Draco Malfoy look alike.

"You mean... you're going to be the one he cheats with?" At least she wasn't slow, which was a good thing for me because I was getting tired of her accusations.

"Exactly."

"I guess as long as he isn't going around with others I should be fine about it, but what about the press, Harry? If they see Blaise with someone else again?"

"Don't worry, Hermione," Harry soothed. "Especially since I don't need to worry about them anymore." The girl raised an eyebrow questioningly so Harry elaborated. "I went over and made sure they won't write anything about Blaise; this will be a secret for a long time." Granger still didn't seem convinced but she decided to stop right there. I was glad silence had finally settled over the apartment because I was tired after the long night.

The next night when I wanted to go out, I went directly to the Midnight Dragon, knowing that Harry was somewhere there. Harry and I had talked about how we should do it and had decided that Harry would leave me something that I would discover which club he would go to. Tonight it was a small dark blue dragon that was dancing over the bathroom mirror, which meant Midnight Dragon.

I entered the packed club and went down to the bar and ordered myself a drink. Like before I turned around and scanned the guests, but this time it wasn't for the same reason as before; this time I searched for one particular man. It wasn't that difficult to find him as he was standing in the middle of a crowd, dancing and moving with the music. I swallowed heavily; my Harry sure knew how to move.

Tonight he looked Indian; black hair and golden skin, with black leather pants and a colourful see-through shirt. After watching him for five minutes I made my way over to him and waited. Just like with Damien, he came over to me and introduced himself as Agni, the fire god. If I wasn't turned on already I would have been by his sexual voice and moves. He turned away from me and began dancing with one of the other guests. This time I didn't mind since I knew Harry would come back to me in the end. After almost dry-humping the poor guys he left them and pulled me with him towards the bathrooms where he found an empty booth and pushed me in. Once we were inside he went down on me and gave me one unforgettable blow job.

Later when we were heading back home, we met his friends out on the street. Harry didn't say a word as I began to interact with them since ignoring them would be rude.

"Is that, Harry?" Granger asked. I nodded and she blushed. "I know it's a game so I will have to tell  _ you _ this, Zabini. Tell Harry - when you see him - that Molly invited you both to the Halloween party." It was the last thing she said before pulling Weasley after her into the club. The poor boy had no idea what was going on.

"Ready to go?" Harry asked with a dialect. I smiled and took his hand. Tonight we would be using my hotel room.

I had never known what true happiness was, not until Harry showed me that I could have a lot of fun with only one person, as long as they were the right one.

I had asked him how he was able to change like he did. At first, he didn't want to talk about it, but after the tenth time of me asking he gave up and told me. Apparently, after killing the Dark Lord, he had somehow gained more power, and that power allowed him to change his appearance as easily as he did.

It was difficult to make Harry open up to me; I knew that our history wasn't making it easier on him, but I hoped that, someday, he would let me know everything. I know it sounds like a crappy romantic story but I wanted us to be perfect.

Harry agreed in the end to tell me if something bothered him, and I would do the same, but most times there wasn't much that bothered either of us, especially not concerning our relationship.

In a short amount of time I had managed to change from the asshole I was to a good boyfriend, good and faithful. Of course it wasn't easy; as easy as it was in the beginning we were facing problems which we couldn't work out for ourselves. Luckily we both decided to make it work and went to get some professional help, which got us through the worst parts and gave us an even happier time together.

I could easily say that our life could not get any better, but it did.

After another year together where we would regularly go out on the town and meet each other, I finally proposed to him, and he was even more happy and joyful than I had ever seen him. If I should have any doubt that he might not like me it was erased right then; Harry's smile and glistening eyes were genuine, real and sweet.

For me there were only a handful of other times that could reach up to the happiness I felt when I proposed to Harry. One of those good moments happened about nine months earlier. A sparkling rose indicated that Harry was going to the Glamour Rose club. After I was dressed, I left and did my ritual drink and scan of the room. After the first weeks Harry stopped dancing in the middle of the room with multiple partners. He told me it was too predictable, which only gave me more work, but I was happy with hunting him down. Back to that night that changed my perspective of our life together, I walked over to a dark haired boy that I could have swore moved just like Harry; after some flirting he agreed to come back with me, just like we did every time we met. It wasn't until I was outside that I realized what a mistake I'd made. Harry ran out of the club, he was a dark skinned boy tonight, not the white kid I was planning to take home. Luckily I didn't need to explain myself to Harry; he didn't seem to care that much about the mistake I almost made either. He was more occupied with trying to make the kid I was taking with me agree to a threesome. The poor boy was scared and left, never looking back at me.

"Did you think I would let you fuck someone else that easily? If you want a third guy then tell me and we'll find one together." That was one of the happiest moments of my life. Of course I only wanted Harry, but a second guy was like Christmas and my birthday combined. Eventually I admitted that I'd made a mistake, that I had no idea Harry wasn't the guy I had seduced. Strangely that didn't make Harry regret what he had said. Later on he was actually interrogating the other club dancers that wanted to fuck him, to see if there was one that was willing to come with us.

Eventually he found a man that both agreed to a threesome and passed Harry's checklist, and that night was both surrealistic and amazing. Harry was the first one to be fucked, both in his mouth and from behind, while standing on all fours. The next person was the new guy, George; Harry was sitting on his chest and fucking his mouth while I was under him, taking him from behind. Finally, it was my turn, and even though I was tired from coming twice already, I still came another two times before either of them was done with me.

And, to make our sex life even better, I met the guy called Michael one day at a club. As soon as I'd told Harry about the bondage and role-play Michael and I had participated in, as well as the fact that he was the one I fucked the evening we broke up, Harry wanted him to be the second one we shared together. Michael, of course remembered me and couldn't be happier with having Harry tag along with me.

Unfortunately - or fortunately, depending on how you look at it - Harry couldn't learn the art of bondage fast enough, nor could he quite grasp how to be as dominant as I was, but I was sure he would learn one day and use it on me at some point. I had no objections to that.

Michael later turned out to be a guy we often searched out; he was the perfect third wheel because he was easy to dominate, therefore giving Harry more confidence. Plus, he didn't mind having 'two masters' as he put it.

In the beginning, Harry's constant appearance change confused Michael; every week a new man would come but his name was the same. Only after the fifth time did I tell him the truth about Harry. It didn't shock me that Michael found it exciting to be dominated by the saviour, but luckily that excitement quickly seeing as I was in charge.

The years passed and both Harry and I were still happy together. Every other week we would go out into town and have some fun before heading back to our home in the country where we lived a peaceful life. Whenever we wanted to add a third, which meant Michael, we would meet up in our apartment and spend hours there.

We were heading for our fifth anniversary when I decided to be the one to ask Harry about a wedding. Surprisingly enough Harry hadn't really thought about it, claiming he loved our life just as it was, but I had learned that life doesn't need to be ruined just because of a silly ritual. I also wanted to show everyone that our life could be just as good, if not even better, than theirs. In the end Harry agreed and we got married in the spring. All of our friends were there, even Michael. Michael, strangely enough, had quite an important part in our wedding; he was the one that carried the rings, seeing as both Harry and I thought it was appropriate that he should be the one handing us our bonds.

That was how our life passed. We both had high profiled jobs, but still managed to slip out of the spotlight and live our life the way we wanted. And our little family grew over time as we both became fathers. First it was Harry's biological daughter that joined us; then it was my biological son. We both found surrogates since impregnating each-other wasn't going to work. In the end it was I that thought it was a little unfair that we had our own children when we could adopt, so that is when we got our twin daughters. You can say that life with Harry changed me into a better man.

So that is my family: Me, Harry, Jessica, Caleb, Aida and Angelica; and Uncle Michael. Of course the rest of our family friends received their own little bundle of joy, but my family was always a more important to me.

If I have the chance to go back and change even one little detail I wouldn't do it. I might not have known it in the beginning but Harry was the best thing that happened to me. He was the only one who has managed to change me into the man I am. Come to think about it, he's the only one that has managed to change me at all.

Why him? Because he's Harry.

My Harry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the old AN I added when I first finished the fic years ago:
> 
> AN : This story might be angsty but I love a happy ending. I know it looks like the story is rushed towards the end, but it's the shortest road from where they ended back together again till their life as it would be in the future. Please don't hate me for it, I just can't seem to be able to write their future without a family and all that. I'm sorry about adding Michael but most people need something spicy in their relationship, and he was perfect for them, the sub, which meant Harry could take control over someone as well.  
> For those that thinks Blaise can't be a father, you're wrong, Blaise only needed right guidance and a loving partner that understood him; he then became a strong lover, boyfriend, fiancée and husband. And with a lot help from Harry he managed to become a great father.  
> I'm sure there might be other things that people wonder about, if any of you have any question don't hesitate to ask me.  
> I'm grateful for all the readers that has stuck out with this story. I do hope the ones that has never reviewed likes my story, even if it's a typical teenage angst story.


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